


To Take the Reins

by Jorie2127 (dsha801)



Series: On the Highway to Hell [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Archangels, BAMF Sam Winchester, Canon-Typical Violence, Demons, Depression, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-08 07:17:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 57,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3200327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsha801/pseuds/Jorie2127
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: 'Fic idea where a lonely person sells their soul to Satan to be their friend. And Satan just rolls with it until he realizes at the time of their death he genuinely likes them. Since he can't renege on the contract he takes them to Hell and puts them in a high position of power. Demons hardened by millenia of torture now have to answer to a shy, self-conscious, quiet, depressed, lonely person who has unintentionally become Satan's #1'</p><p>Sequel of 'On the Highway to Hell'<br/>(Though it can be read without it,  just completing the second part of the prompt)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Domesticity

**Author's Note:**

> (Okay, as I promised before, I'm writing the sequel of my fic so I can finally complete the second part of the prompt and tie some issues that I haven't solved, but I think you can read this fic without needing the previous one as reference)  
> Comments, critics, mentions at my grammar, and kudos are all appreciated~

Sam has been out hunting.

He doesn’t know exactly how it happened, just that once, almost two months back, he read the news on his computer and thought, “That’s ghost.”

Perhaps it wasn’t a good enough excuse to grab the Impala’s keys in anticipation, ready to to drive to the town where the encounter happened, but there were already three deaths and who knew how many more that the police ─not knowing about ghosts and everything supernatural─ left without investigation. He knew there were other hunters, but he didn’t know any personally. It was almost a coincidence he found the case, who knew if others would notice, too.

But Sam noticed it. He knew what to do. After all, Rufus had given him enough tips in how to protect himself from them, how to recognize them, and how to get rid of them too.

Before he knew it, he was already packing, giving lame lies to Ellen and Bobby about how he needed to travel for a while─ to clear his head. He was going to call them every night, so please don’t worry. I’ll be fine.

Sam had lived on the road for most of his life so it was easy for him to make them understand. Or at least to try to, in the same way they had accepted his desires of standing up for himself. Supportive of the choices he made, and even sometimes stubborn in their opinions if he needed it, but always, always considering of his opinions. And Sam loved them so dearly for that trust he perhaps didn’t deserve. Jo was lucky to have them; they were great parents. And if the smiles he continued giving them were getting easier to form with each new lie just as the constriction in his chest grew tighter, well, then, that was just his problem.

Sam was no fool, though. He tried to be cautious and even if it had been his first hunt, he was well aware how easy it had been. The body was quickly found; the ghost not bothering him until the very end when the match was already in, sweaty palms, just a second before he was shoved towards a rock. It took all the air aways from his lungs, but he still managed to throw the match towards the bones and see the ghost burn.

The second one had been more difficult: a shape-shifter. He was lucky that John had been very insistent in the constant training he had put him and his brother through, and that Sam still practiced to keep his body in shape─ even more after the demon-kidnapping incident. Despite the so called Winchester-luck his brother and father always grumbled about, Sam was lucky. Lucky that he had learnt how to shot; lucky that he and Dean had been enough of troublemakers, their dad had considered a need to teach them how to stitch someone using a penknife, a sewing needle, and some dental floss.

He didn’t care much about the injuries though; the relief pouring in waves from the victims he had found inside the monster’s lair was enough. It made him realize why hunters did it. It was worth it. It made him feel useful. And so he kept doing it.

And now, after more small hunts he could be bothered to count, he still felt the same sense of purpose his first hunt have gave him. Even as he was lighting his way through what seemed to be an empty, putrid tunnel with a flashlight; a Taser held high, ready and trying to be silent as he walked even if the soggy water reached his ankles and the smell sometimes made him cover his mouth with an arm to stop the gag from making itself hear.

At least he had already passed the part of the tunnel where he had to bend to be able to fit, the only entry towards the path the map pointed to go so he could reach the service section─ the perfect place for a rawhead’s nest to be.

He stopped when small, wet sobs where at hearing distance. Turning the corner slowly to reach the sound, Sam almost stepped on a rat, making it cry loudly as it ran away from him. He didn’t pay attention to it as he flashed the light on three small kids with dirt and dried tears covering their faces, bodies pressing together upon seeing him, terror clear in their eyes. Sam tried to give them a smile to calm their terrified eyes, but when doubt seemed to reach their expressions, eyes widened in horror. The only indication he had of the monster behind him.

Sam turned just in time to see leathery hands with claws approaching him. He was going to fire but he noticed the water pooling around his ankles that could kill him. Moving his finger away from the trigger, he braced himself for the impact, knowing he didn’t have a chance against monster strength and using the impact of the rawhead to push him far from him. His claws brushed his arm but Sam was able to throw him off balance for a moment, enough for him to step on the dry land and shot, the leads hitting straight on the monster’s head.

“Don’t look!” he shouted when the kids cried in surprise, his finger never leaving the trigger until the monster started to melt into a puddle of goo.

Sam felt his hand relaxing, his arm throbbing where the monster had latched at him. He wanted to rub the skin but his first movement were towards the kids as he knelt in front of them to check for any injuries. They cried, startled at first and it took a couple of minutes to calm them, to make them realize that Sam wasn’t going to do anything bad at them. Then they hugged him tightly, tears wetting his shirt as small nail dug into his shirt.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, repeating the words over and over as some kind of mantra until they were able to walk out of the tunnel, warm sunlight finally brushing at their skin. The kids were calmer by then even if they were still trembling and Sam was glad for their short attention span. They sat on the hood of the impala, asking some questions that were more or less difficult to decipher. It didn’t matter, Sam still listened as he gave them energy bars and bottles of water, wrapping a sheet around of them.

He smiled as he saw them devour the food while searching for the phone he was sure he had left on top of the driver seat. He stop his search when he heard a soft, familiar cough. Making sure that the kids were more entertained with their food, he turned towards the figure that stood in the opposite side of the impala.

Lucifer didn’t speak as he held his phone between long fingers. He mouthed ‘I called’ before disappearing with the usual ruffle of feathers. And then wind brushed his cheeks and he felt a hand curling into his hair, tugging gently as long fingers rub over the bruised skin on his arm, a tentative, careful touch, the coldness making him sigh out in contentment. And Sam, with adrenaline still high in his veins, wants nothing more but to hug him and kiss him, but his hands moves forward and only air greets him.

Sighing, he opened his eyes. His phone appearing on top of the impala’s roof.

He also doesn’t remember when they started to do this. Just that while he was in his first hunt Lucifer wanted to pay him a visit, only to notice that he wasn’t in Sioux Fall. Annoyed and a bit concerned he searched for him before appearing in front of his motel room, knocking. When Sam answered, he was cradling his head with a hand, waiting for the painkillers to kick out. He can recall Lucifer’s concern. The impotent expression he had at not being able to heal him, recalls him kissing his wounds, then his forehead, cheeks and finally his lips. Then Sam started to lick his jaw, sucking gently at his neck while a hand under his shirt moved up and up as the kisses became more and more exploring until Lucifer pulled it out, slowly, as if giving him a chance for him to retreat.

Since then, he had middling thoughts of dread and anticipation that accompanied the ache of finishing a hunt.

“The adults won't believe us,” said the bigger of the kids, a red-haired girl with freckles.

Sam didn’t lie. “No, they won’t.” He moved in front of the kids and bend until they were at the same height, making sure that their eyes were on him. “But I will.”

One of the other kids bit his lips when they heard the ambulance close. “What are we going to tell them, then?”

“That a bad guy took you.” He snatched a piece of paper and a pen from the glove compartment of the car, and wrote his number on it and gave it to each of them. “I’m sorry I can’t help you with more, but if you ever want to talk with someone, well... you call me.”

When the ambulance parked near, they took the kids to check on them while Sam told the cops that he was passing by and hear strange whimpers that made him want to investigate.

 

* * *

 

The good thing about dating an angel was that moving from one place to another was easier. If he wanted, he could take the largest path and drive but also, if he asked, he could make Lucifer transport him from one place to another. Though Sam didn’t use the easier option a lot, not wanting to take advantage of his powers. But this was an exception. He stinked, his back ached at bending for so long in those tunnels, and his arm still throbbed even if there was a bandage covering it.

“You’re awfully distracted today, Sam. Are sure you’re well?” Lucifer asked, a hint of concern in his tone. Sam swallowed, his breath hitching when he felt the cool breath against his bare chest, managing to completely pull him out of his thoughts, making him focus again at what was happening in the present. Hands trailed down at his sides, fingers brushing lightly over every rib, tracing down the bone to his back before coming to his chest. Sam shuddered and bit his lower lip when he felt a kiss above his middle, just under his sternum. “If you want I can try to give you a massage?”

Sam scoffed, his eyes were closed, darkness filled his vision, yet he could felt Lucifer’s gaze firmly on him as if it were another physical touch. “Does it mean that you’ve learnt how to do it right?”

“Well, how do you expect me to be better if I don’t have anyone to practice on?” Lucifer’s small-offended sound was just a breath, a puff of cool air that hovered over the burnt skin of Sam’s side. He had healed. The injury was now small and faint compared to how it had been before, but it was still there. Red and unmarred; sensible. It made him feel more self-conscious when he felt the ghost of lips brushing it. It was the grip on his hipbone, though, gripping him gentle but firm, that stopped him from quivering.

“Lucifer,” Sam breathed when the angel licked a long stripe from his belly to the edge of his loose pants while Sam’s fingers cradled through his short blond hair.

He heard an amused hum. The angel’s respiration making the soft hairs on his navel rise as the ones on his arms had done long time ago, too. It tickled at the same time it made him contract the muscles in his abdomen. It was usually at that time when his nervousness increased, but Sam swallowed and moved the hand away from Lucifer’s hair to clench a fist on the sheets around him.

They were slightly warm; the sunlight that came from the curtains was slim, making them that way. He could felt the soft light easily warming his skin too. He tried to concentrate in that as he felt Lucifer’s hands wrapping around the hips, close from the line on Sam’s body that his clothes formed, a small step towards nudity. He kept repeating, _‘I can do it’,_ constantly to himself, even before fingers reached to peek under his pants, not sliding past the waistband but gradually moving them down ─giving him always time.

Sam’s respiration became thick, his deep breaths becoming too obvious; and before he really thought about it, his hand was unclenching the sheets and moving to grasp Lucifer’s wrist, halting any further movements. “Wait,” he at least managed to say.

Lips were again brushing his middle, soft enough that Sam wasn’t sure if he had really felt them. The hands didn’t continue his examination, deciding instead to move away from his body, to the sides. Sam opened his eyes and looked at the figure that loomed on top of him; fully clothed, pale blue eyes peering over long eyelashes. The pupils blown, just a strip of their true color remained to be seen but, other than that, Lucifer was calm ─his respiration slightly irregular, a fond smile on his face.

He let his wrist go, tense. The usual nervousness filling him as fast as the sweat that covered his body had done. Sam licked his lips and his gaze wandered to other places to look instead of the angel’s eyes. “Um, I didn’t intend to, well─”

Lucifer moved forward, one steady hand cupped the back of his head and pulled him into a kiss. Sam almost sighed in relief. He could do that. They now kissed constantly: when they saw each other after a long time, after a farewell, before and after eating, when Sam was reading and Lucifer just came to sit next to him… it became something easy, familiar. Easier than watching Lucifer taking his time with every one of the little creases, imperfections, scars on his skin, brushing his lips over them as if they were beautiful; slow and attentive as he tasted every inch of him. As if they were just another part of Sam that he loved.

Lucifer sucked lightly his lip and Sam was enchanted at seen his eyes flashing silver with the angle of the light. He knew Lucifer was kissing him to distract him, and Sam was a little grateful for that. But he still felt defeated, as if he was losing a battle against himself. Lucifer always did the same after every hunt, while wanting to make sure he was fine. That the scars haven’t gotten worse and they kept their pink color. He never knew when the observations developed into caresses. Perhaps the first time.And yet, Sam still was as nervous as he was in the first time. He knew they only went as far as they did most of the times because Sam tried to get them that far. Lucifer didn’t even seem bothered though, mostly because he merely wanted to reassure himself that Sam was fine whenever he touched him after those hunts.

Lucifer always reacted correctly. Sam did not.

That might be why he pulled Lucifer tight into him, chest flushing into one and another as Sam tangled their legs and deepened the kiss, wanting to enjoy every second his short libid had to offer. Tongue persistent as it licked the inside of Lucifer mouth to taste the power he emanated. The part of him that was all heavenly, but also the other that came from Hell, too. Sometimes he felt overpowered by them, small, fragile and young; but he had learnt to love them. And Lucifer soft grunts when he mapped the inside of his mouth was worth it.

It’s more that Sam distracts easily than him not being able to get excited. He can’t focus entirely in the arousal he can feel before managing to get hard. His mind wanders. Because of that, Sam cannot have sex, nor being completely naked in front of Lucifer, but he could do kissing. Actually, he liked to lose himself into it; the small noises they did, the way Lucifer fingers curled through the long strands of his hair to pull him close, closer until he was able to feel teeth against his own and knew their mouths would be swollen and bruised by the end.

And with that, Sam gained more confidence, his own hands moving to undress Lucifer’s upper body until they were in the same condition. He knew that if they did it like that, quick and with rough touches, Sam would not stop Lucifer from pulling his pants down. His thoughts wouldn’t bother him and his doubts would be forgotten.

Then, Sam was palming Lucifer’s half harden cock, moving unpracticed fingers so he could trace all the length with them, down to his balls, hoping that his movements showed sensuality and determination. But, apparently, they did nothing but show his annoyance and desperation at not being able of offer himself completely in the way he wanted.

Lucifer slowed their kiss, moderated their movements. Long, slender fingers curled around his hand and pulled it away from his crotch, entangling their fingers while soothing every attempt Sam did to continue. After a stroke over his knuckles and a final kiss at the corner of his lips, he retreated and Sam huffed with narrowed his eyes, watching the soft expression on Lucifer’s face as he moved their hands towards his mouth.

He kissed the middle of his fingers first; then his lips brushed his palm; a kiss on his wrist was next, just above the place he had once cut deep until blood had poured from the gash. Sam let a shaky breath at that. He remembered flinching abruptly the first time Lucifer had done it ─so quick that he even managed to stun the archangel.

Looking through half lidded eyes Lucifer continuing to trail his nose and lips over his arm, Sam murmured, “Sorry.”

Lucifer stopped, left one more kiss on his palm before pushing up on his elbow placed for support, coaxing Sam down on his back with their fingers still together. “You’ve done nothing wrong, Sam.”

He rolled his eyes. “I can’t even─” A hand spread on his bare chest, catching his attention. Sam turned towards the eyes looking at him. “You know that I’m not looking forward to sex with this.”

“Yeah, I know that,” Sam thought as he moved close to Lucifer’s body, tucking into the crook of his neck, “and that’s also kind of the problem.”

“But you want to have sex, too.” He glanced up; he had felt Lucifer’s body reaction to his many times before. The heavy breaths, the groans, his hips stammering ─how he hardened even more against him.

“I want you, I can deny that,” he said. “Your soul, your heart, your body. Everything. I want it all.” An arm curled around his waist, the action oddly possessive as he looked down at him, a playful smirk on his lips. “Besides, what would be the fun in doing it now when I know you won’t last?”

Sam’s brows knit together, other time he would have laugh. He was still annoyed though. “As if you couldn’t erase my pills for an hour without repercussions.”

He huffed. “Oh? You want to ask me for help now?”

An uncomfortable silence fell upon them after the words left his mouth. His fingers retreated from playing with Lucifer’s and he moved away, ready to stand.

“Sam. You know that wasn’t what I meant.”

Sam nodded but didn’t look him at the eyes. They only really discussed once when Sam started hunting. Lucifer wasn’t happy that Sam hadn’t accepted him to be his companion ─Sam didn’t want to become dependent of him─, they weren’t at the same level because Lucifer could kill a monster with just a snap of fingers while Sam was just a human. Lucifer tried to convince him about how dangerous hunting was, how he couldn’t heal him anymore.

It never escalated to shouts, but with every word they exchanged, he grew tired. He was grateful that Lucifer had stopped talking when Sam had said, “I’ll do it even if you don’t want me to.”

After that he never voiced his displeasure, instead, he started teaching Sam everything. Gave him knifes and all kind of weapons. Showed him protections and incantations, everything he could do to help him. And for that, Sam loved him a little more.

But there were times, few times, when some words escaped Lucifer, wording what Sam already knew the angel thought about hunting alone. And perhaps it was selfish and petty, but it still annoyed him─hurt him.

“I’ve to go to Ellen’s. I’ll take a shower,” he said, walking towards the bathroom, the place where Lucifer never went after him, when Sam could go when he felt like being alone without actually saying it.

He turned on the radio on his way there. It felt too quiet whenever they touched the subject. He undressed and adapted the water’s temperature. Once inside it, Sam clenched his fists and took a deep breath, letting tears mix with the drops of water, trying to be as silent as possible, knowing that an all seeing, all hearing archangel was close. But Lucifer wouldn’t enter, he repeated himself. He knew that Sam sometimes needed the space, away from everyone. It still comforted him knowing that he only had to voice Lucifer’s name and the angel would appear next to him in an instant, arms wrapping around his body; but others, it angered him how he couldn’t offer the same silent comfort to him.

But, at least, Sam didn’t have any more complete bad days anymore, now they were just bad moments. Most lasted a few hours.

Yet, even if they were less frequent, they still knocked him out more forcibly than before because he was no longer used to it.

Lucifer accompanied him most of those moments, however. Sometimes he just seated next to him until those moments passed; others, he didn’t, merely accepting that his presence wasn’t welcomed at the moment.

Lucifer didn’t understand; he wasn’t human. But he tried to.

With a sigh, Sam stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel to dry himself before changing, glad that he only needed a moment to calm himself, think in other things before he could shrug off the weight on his shoulders before he could start to feel better.

He had found that walking out of the problem for a time could do wonders with his mood.

Glancing down at his tights for a second, not for the first time wishing that the spell Azazel had casted on him was gone and he could ask Lucifer or Raphael to disappear the faint yet clear white marks that were still on his tights. He hated them. Hated that it was because of them he felt so self-conscious about his body. Heck, it had took him weeks to just shrug ‘easily’ his shirt and let Lucifer kiss his skin. It wasn’t a problem when it was on his neck, collarbone, or face. However, those were the exposed parts on his skin that he was used to show and had never bothered to damage, worried that others might see them if he cut there.

He opened the bathroom’s door, the smell of coffee making him walk to the small kitchen, stopping after entering at the sight that greeted him. “Did you cook?”

Lucifer placed a plate with fried eggs and bacon on the table; with his other hand, he poured coffee in two coups. “Why does it surprise you? It’s not so hard.”

Sam snorted, glad that the tense atmosphere had dimmed. “So you didn’t use salt on my coffee this time?”

An indignant scoff escaped Lucifer and Sam was pleased to see small dots of red on his cheeks. Knowing how hardly they showed ─it was difficult to embarrass Lucifer─, Sam leaned to kiss him. From this close, he could see the worry still in the other’s eyes. “Sam,” he began, but he didn’t let him continue.

“Ellen and Bobby are thinking in throwing a little party for Thanksgiving,” Sam sat and started eating.

Lucifer didn’t sigh, but he looked close to. “Yes?”

Sam nodded. “More like a small reunion in their house; they told me that I could invite some friends.” He looked up at him, wanting to see the smile forming. The honest, soft one; the one that came before some remark occurred Lucifer and the smirk appeared.

“Are you inviting me to meet your family Sam?” He expected the smirk in that phrase, but it wasn’t there. His eyes were still soft at the sides, his smile tender. It made him feel lightheaded and content.

He cut a piece of bacon to distract himself. “Well, I wouldn’t call it that.”

The smirk now appeared. “Don’t want me to come with flowers at your doorstep, all in suit, to ask for Ellen and Bobby’s approbation?”

“Okay, that’s it. Not more of those old romantic movies to you.” He pointed a fork at him. “And you always wear a suit.” Well, that wasn’t entirely true, since long ago that Lucifer had started to wear other things; when he came he was in his usual pristine white suit, but then he waved a hand and changed for something more casual for Sam’s sake, making it look more approachable, but not less otherly.

“That wasn’t a no,” Lucifer totted, clearly enjoying annoying Sam. “You already know my family, is only fair.”

Sam licked his lips and his eyes dropped for a moment. “Do you really want to? I mean, introduce you as my, uh, boyfriend?”

“If you feel comforta─”

Sam looked up. “No, I mean it. Do you want to? I appreciated that you want to look for me, I really do, but I don’t like you suppressing your... desires because of it. Our relationship isn’t a secret or anything. So, do you want them to know?”

Sam didn’t mention that, while he could introduce Bobby and Ellen to him, he wasn’t sure if he could introduce the whole real persona that was Lucifer. The one that damned the souls to Hell.

Lucifer looked carefully at his face, absorbing every emotion Sam displayed before blinking. “I want everyone to know about us, Sam. But yes, your family is more important to me.”

Sam swallowed. “Then you can tell everyone you want.”

He didn’t liked much the way Lucifer’s eyes lit with mischief at those words, but he did when he whispered, “I promise you to go.”

 

* * *

 

 

Attending a bar wasn’t that difficult when you already had years of practice in doing it. Sam had helped Ellen many times in all the time he had lived with her. Dean was always more into giving a hand to Bobby than being with Ellen─ Actually, Sam always thought that under all that respect Dean had towards her, there was a sadness in there too. As if it hurt Dean being near her. Sam never understood, but he didn’t remember their mother all too well like Dean either. So, instead of being in the Singer Salvage, Sam had spent more time with Ellen in her bar. Learning more things with every year it passed. Now he wasn’t only good at serving, but he also understood all the inner workings of a bar and he enjoyed it.

What he didn’t enjoy much though, was dealing with the people that had had too much drinks and were hard to tell to stop. Some showed anger, pleaded, and the kind; Sam had seen it all. But from all the types that existed, the one he had always liked were the funny ones. The ones that you weren’t bothered that would start a fight. Like the present one in front of him.

“Come on, ask me one question ‘n I’ll answer. I swear ’mnot drunk at all.”

“You’ve drank two bottles already.”

The man scoffed, his movements sloppy as he spoke. “Please, this?” he pointed the whisky. “That’s just to hose mah throat. Come on, er, what’s yur name?”

“Sam.”

“Sam, one question, just one,” he pleaded, pulling one finger up for more emphasis.

He sighed and looked to his surroundings. The bar was empty; he and the man were the only ones left. Well, them and Lisa, who was just coming from the back. After his release,

Ellen had accompanied him to the hospital with little Jo for his pills, they were going to go and buy some groceries after and they had met again, made a small conversation and that was when she mentioned how hard was to find a job.

Ellen then offered an empty spot she had and here they were.

Sam turned towards the man. “Okay, one.” He tried to think in something easy that whoever could have answered while being sober, but not hard enough for a drunk. “How many stars the flag has?”

A snort came from behind. Sam looked over his shoulder, and there was Lisa, a bottle on her hand. “I’m afraid that you’ve to be a little harder with this one,” she said and poured some of the golden beverage in the previous, empty small glass. She didn’t fill it. “Still, it doesn’t matter. He’s going to win.”

The man looked close to fist bump as he started drinking. “She’s a wise woman.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah, it’s better if you lose with your dignity intact, Sam.” She then glanced at the man. “But this is the last one, Ash.”

“Hey, I finished a job. It’s the least I deserve.”

Sam chuckled and started shaking his head, but stopped when he heard the bell’s door. Turning his head towards the sound, Sam saw Lucifer walking towards them in slow, confident steps.

“I’m sorry, sir, but we’re closed now.”

Lucifer was looking at him but he glanced towards Lisa upon hearing her voice. Sam could almost feel her stiffening next to him at being under Lucifer’s gaze. “Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just looking for Sam.” Returning his eyes towards him, Lucifer asked, “Ready to go?”

Sam felt his cheeks warming as he looked down. He was glad that the door was open and let some of the cool air brush against his skin. “Uh, yeah, I just need to grab some things. “ He then turned towards Lisa. “Can you close for me, Lis?”

“Er… Sure!”

“Thanks.” Sam practically rushed towards the back of the room, taking his apron off and grabbing his jacket before going out again.

Meanwhile, Lucifer was calm as he stood on the same spot he had let him while Ash looked silent and wary; Lisa’s outgoing personality seemed to dim a little, her movements became nervous as they were when they first met, but her smile was still on place. Knowing that Lucifer’s heavy presence was the one causing the change, Sam grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards the exit, glancing one more time towards his friend. He’d have to talk with her. “See you tomorrow, Lis.”

Sam looked the door they had passed, worried, before turning and catching Lucifer’s expression: Brows draw together in a pensive form.

“This is the first time you’ve ever come here.”

Lucifer blinked once before wrapping an arm around his waist, above his shirt but under his jacket, and he pressed his cold nose against his cheek, kissing it in greeting. “I wasn’t sure how of myself I needed to retract in order to be around others. I apologize for attempting to practice in the place you worked,” he said. Then, backing until his pale eyes met his, he added, “I wanted to surprise you.”

“Yeah?”

“I promise to hide better my true nature the next time.”

He looked down upon hearing the words ‘next time’, concentrating in the feeling of Lucifer’s arm around the small of his back. “Don’t worry, I’ll talk with Lis.”

Lucifer made a pleased, surprised sound when Sam pulled him towards an empty alley and kissed him. By the time Sam backed away, there was a smile on his lips

“I liked the way your soul brightened when you saw me, it was beautiful.” He brushed his fingers over his chest. “You’re gorgeous.”

Sam scoffed softly, unable to hide his smile and blush. “I think you’re the only one that can say that without sounding cheesy.”

Lucifer laughed. “Well, I noticed that you were ‘sappy’, as you humans say.” Lucifer then leaned down to brush their lips together. “I think I’m going to do it more often if you’re going to react like this.”

Sam pushed Lucifer playfully away, hearing the noise of the people walking close. “Kiss you, you mean?”

Lucifer had his arms surrounding him still, but he was slowly retreating. He brushed his lips against his forehead. “Happy,” he answered and moved away. A smile still playing over his features.

His arm around him was comforting all the way to his apartment.

 

* * *

 

“So are you going to tell me who was that guy or do I need to use my charm to privy it out of you?”

Sam glanced at his right and saw Lisa standing there, arms crossed over her chest while her smile grew as blood warmed his cheeks. Sam fidgeted with the apron he had just put out before smiling sheepishly at her.

She waved a hand and huffed. “You don’t need to really tell me, Sam. I was just picking on you.” She walked and stood behind him to help him tie the apron. “Though I did notice the cow eyes you were giving him.”

“I wasn’t doing cow eyes.”

“I’m afraid to tell you this, but you totally were.” She patted her arm after she was done. “I know when someone is in love, Sam, and you totally were,” she said, and then looked down with slight pursed lips. Her eyes becoming lost in a memory. Sam didn’t touch her, not in that moment, but he did call for her. She looked up and smiled a little self-deprecating. “I know I shouldn’t be afraid, but it’s still there, y’know?”

Sam nodded because he did know. He then walked closer and hugged her gently; she stiffened at first but then she let herself go, her arms coming around his waist. “I wish that I wasn’t afraid. It’s stupid.” Sam frowned, but before he could talk, Lisa intercepted him. “Yes, yes. I know is not stupid. Geez.”

Sam huffed. “Hey, you’re the one that accepted working in a bar.”

She backed away, not before giving his stomach a playful pat. “Well, how else am I going to overcome my fears and all that crap they told us then, um?”

“I don’t think that’s what they meant…,” he said softly.

There was a smile on her lips, a patient one. It looked wise and tender. She would have been an amazing mother. “I have my ways, they’ve theirs.”

Sam couldn’t say more because he knew it worked for her. Sometimes she did get afraid of someone, went to the back room and breathed for a couple of times, leaving Sam to attend. When the flow receded somewhat, Sam went to the back to see how she was. She usually drank water, her hand trembling a little around the glass. She would always say, “I know; is stupid,” but Sam would shook his head and said that no, it wasn’t. After making sure that she didn’t need anything else, he returned to the bar. Lisa would always come later with a smile, talk with some of the regular clients, and serve.

She was one of the strongest women Sam knew.

“Can I least know the name of your friend?” Sam blinked and looked at her, his beating fastening because of the words. Right, that’s what people usually ask about someone. “Give me a hand?” she pointed at her own apron and Sam walked towards her.

“Well,” he started, not sure what to say. He probably needed to talk with Lucifer about this. Discuss if they were going to tell Sam’s family the entirely of what he was, or just a front. But until then, Sam didn’t felt good with lying about Lucifer. So changing the subject it was. “He’s not my friend,” he said, then knowing how bad that would sound, he added, “We were, I mean, before. But he’s more of my, uh, boyfriend.”

With her apron already tied, she turned and looked at him with a raised eyebrow, her lips slowly curling upwards. “So this is serious?”

Sam smiled back, dimples showing. Glancing down for a second, he answered. “Yeah, it is.”

She hummed. “That’s part of why you wanted your own apartment?”

Sam had a flash of the small apartment he had rented a while back using the money he had saved from the tips he received in Ellen’s bar. Five minutes away from the Roadhouse; and fifteen minutes, from his surrogate family’s house.

“What─? No! What I told Ellen and Bobby was true: I wanted to try to live on my own again,” he said quickly, remembering Bobby helping him with you with his boxes and bags. He then huffed. “I’m going to start classes next year and I also need money. You know Ellen, she doesn’t want me to work in other places when I can do fine here and good people are scarce to hire.” He leaned on one of the counter, annoyed. “Besides, you know I can’t…” he trailed off with a hand.

“I didn’t mean it that way, though you’re right. And I see you’re a little angry at that. You could try telling your doctor to change your pills? Maybe decrease your dose a bit?” When Sam didn’t answer, she made a sound of understanding. “Since how long ago?”

“Two weeks ago, I think?”

Lisa eyes knit together in worry. She crossed her arms tightly over her chest, shrinking a bit on herself. “He’s not... pressing you, right?”

Sam blinked in surprise. “No! No, he isn’t. I’m doing because I want to.” Then, huffing annoyingly he added, “He’s actually really patient and doesn’t care much, though I wish that he asked me for it! I can’t have sex but I can do perfectly fine a blow─” Sam looked away, feeling guilty all of sudden. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t─ I know that…”

She touched his arm. “Sam, I’m not going to break just for hearing the word sex, you know better than most how this works.” Sam nodded. “And maybe you only need to wait for your body to process the change.”

He smiled. “I do admit that part of why I wanted the apartment was to spent more time with him.”

She didn’t reply, but her eyes shone with an ‘I knew it’; instead, she asked if they were living together. Sam didn’t know how to answer that. It wasn’t as if they were. Lucifer came most nights to his apartment and rarely left before Sam woke up. But he understood that with all changes he was doing in Hell, he was tired and sometimes didn’t possess the time to spend it with him. Sam wanted to distract him from his troubles. He admitted that he didn’t have much to offer him though; not to a being that could obtain what it wanted by just wishing it.

“Oh, so he works late?” Lisa shrugged an arm and smiled. “Well, that’s why there are key-copies, right?

“He doesn’t have a copy,” Sam replied before really thinking about it. He hated that sometimes it was so easy to talk with someone he liked─ he tended to forget to think before speaking, after all.

“He doesn’t? So he wakes you up whenever he comes?”

Sam blushed, there were only few times when Lucifer came when he was already asleep. Sam never woke up, not entirely, but now that the weather was cold, Lucifer had to put another sheet on him so his natural cool skin wouldn’t bother him, because Lucifer knew that no matter how cold he was, Sam would still snuggle close to his side.

“Do I want to ask?” Lisa asked when Sam hadn’t answered. She tried to make it sound indifferent, but her lips were trembling, wanting to form a smile.

“Let’s just say he doesn’t wake me up.”

“You still should give him a key though,” she pointed. “I could even accompany you to make a copy.”

Sam was ready to tell her an excuse so he won’t need to explain that Lucifer could pop up inside without a need of a door but then Ellen appeared from the door. “So here you are!” She gave them a long look, then, knowing that nothing wrong was happening, she said, “Now move your asses back here and stop delaying. We already opened.”

She then returned to the bar and both of the chuckled. Lisa went first but she turned when he called her. “Could you please not say anything about this to Ellen?” he asked. “I want to introduce him in the Thanksgiving dinner to them.”

Sam almost sighed in relief when she smiled, grabbed a two bottles, and said, “Got it.”

 

* * *

 

 

Sam took a sip from his cup of coffee, sighing as he enjoyed the taste of the hot liquid. He was glad that there was a coffee shop near to the bar and that they worked late. He didn’t know how he would have worked without it, honestly.

Sam bought other to go so he could give it to Lucifer, but he thought that it would be better if he brought Lucifer with him; they haven’t had their first official date yet, so the place would be fine. They had different types of beverages and foods he could make Lucifer try, like that Indian curry. Lucifer wasn’t so appealed for sweets, though he did drink things too sugary for anyone’s taste; instead, he liked his food on the spicy side. He said that he liked the heat it produced in his vessel; the tingle he felt on his tongue was amazing for him.

It was also fun for Sam to see him eat those kinds of plates; Lucifer went all red thanks to it.

He didn’t work on Mondays so they could go after going to Ellen and Bobby’s, he had promised to go early so he could accompany Ellen and Jo to buy some groceries; Thanksgiving was close and she wanted to buy the food before it went scarce and the better was taken. Sam wanted to take the advantage to search something for Christmas in the mall too: a win-win situation.

Ellen wasn’t too worried like him; the holiday was still very far away, but Sam wanted to see if he could find something for Lucifer there, after all, what did you give to a being that could snap everything from thin air?

He put a hand inside his pocket, feeling the key Lisa had accompanied him to make. He was going to remind Lisa that it wasn’t really necessary but then he thought about it and

realized that he did want to give Lucifer a key for the apartment. Not because he thought the angel would use it, but for the meaning behind it. He wanted Lucifer to know that the place wasn’t only Sam’s, but theirs. Bobby helped him move the boxes, but it was Lucifer the one who had helped him put everything into place.

Sam remembered looking over his shoulder and see Lucifer holding a book with a smile, watching with an almost tender expression the old photo album Dean and Sam had managed to fill over the years, with lots of photos with just the two of them alone, few old of their mom, some of their dad, Jess, Bobby, Ellen. Few of Jo as she was still little by the time Dean died and Sam had hid it, unable to bear the sight of it anymore.

 _“Ellen must have put it inside one of the boxes, because I left it on the cellar after… well,”_ he didn’t finish, distracted by the pages Lucifer passed through slowly, asking him from time to time, what some things were and Sam telling the story behind it.

When they finished, Lucifer asked, _“And where are you going to put it? This is not going to fit in the small bookshelf you have.”_ Both turned towards the pile of books that were too big for the bookshelf that had come with the apartment.

_“Well, perhaps I’ll buy a new shelf, or maybe built it by myself.”_

_“Can I help with that too?”_ Lucifer had looked up at him and smiled, pulling Sam into a kiss when he nodded.

Sam started smiling as he walked, so invested in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the man until it was too late. He tried to move away but couldn’t react, his coffee splashing against the man’s sleeve and the front of Sam’s collar. He was looking into the damage caused in the man, trying to put some space between the hot wet spot and his skin while repeating, “I’m really sorry, man. I think I’ve some paper, if you─”

“What the hell is wrong with you, you prick!”

Sam flinched. He started to glance up, ready to apologize even more even when the hot water was causing him pain too, trying to remember if there were enough napkins alongside the take out he had bought to eat home for both. But he stopped when the man in front of him started to look him with fear. Terror setting in his features as the color left his face. “Are you fine?” Sam asked, his voice seeming to startle the man and to put him into action.

One moment he was there, standing almost as tall as Sam; the next, he was kneeling. His bow deep, eyes straight to the dirty floor. Sam’s eyes widened and he looked around, wanting to see if there was a camera close or something. Nothing.

“My apologies, my Lord,” he said loudly. And, oh god, now people were giving them weird glances. “I didn’t intend to make you trip. It was my mistake and I’m truly sorry.”

“Stand, Stand!” he urged, bending so others wouldn’t think too much of their actions. The man glanced up at him when he touched his shoulder to drag him up. Black eyes met his.

Sam backed off, lost his foot and he’d have fallen over if it wasn’t because of the demon’s grip on his wrist, pulling him forward. That snapped him back to reality. He hated when others touches his wrists. Sam used the momentum to grab the knife on his belt with practiced ease; the demon killing one, the one Lucifer had made him constantly practice with.

“Let me go,” he said, the edge of the knife touching the demon’s neck. He tried to cover the blunt part with his hand, but even like that, people gasped and walked away. The demon let him go. “I’m sorry, my Lord. I didn’t mean to disrespect you.”

Sam pushed him towards a dark alley and stepped back once inside it; knife still in hand. “What? I’m not your Lord.”

“You’re our Lord’s escort. That’s enough for us,” he answered with determination.

Sam blinked. Frowned and looked carefully into the demon’s expression. There was dread and aversion in the turn of his lips, but also respect and a slight admiration in his eyes. It made his fingers twitch. It felt like a responsibility. A huge one he didn’t like and was starting to weigh him.

He needed to talk with Lucifer.

“Go away.”

“But your shirt, my─”

“Go away,” he pressed between clenched teeth. “If you’re worried that I’ll tell Lucifer, then don’t.”

“It’s not that, you’re─” Sam didn’t know what expression he was wearing, but the demon stopped talking. When he walked away, Sam swallowed, his muscles finally relaxing. He placed the demon-killing knife on his belt, walked towards the mouth of the alleyway and, grabbing the bag with the take out he had drop, he left. Using the longest path in case cops came looking for turmoil. He wanted to blame the weather for his hands shaking from time to time as he ran. His apartment wasn’t far away, ten minutes of walking. fifteen for the route he had chosen.

He _needed_ to talk with Lucifer.

 


	2. The coffee shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your cup is getting cold.” Sam looked up and saw the man sitting in a chair that he hadn’t seen before, one that put them in the same height. He wasn't looking at his eyes, but at the dry coffee spot on his shirt. “Problems in Paradise?” he asked, now glancing up at him, a small gleam of mischief in his eyes, as if what he had just said was the funniest thing ever. “You look as if you’ve relationship problems. I’m not going to say anything, but just know that many know me as Dr. Love.” He winked.

Lucifer was resting in one of the ugly sofas Sam had. He had thought in visiting him in the bar, knowing that his shift would be over in a few minutes, but it wasn’t too late and there were always too many people at this hour for him to appear without Sam scolding him for scaring someone. Time had been always relative for him, constantly changing depending where he was; however, Lucifer had found that he appreciated it greatly to spend it more with Sam than with demons and damned souls. Of course that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy spending some time alone. One would have thought otherwise after being inside the Cage for so long; the truth was that he enjoyed being able to choose when to be alone, especially in places where he had good memories. Sam had lived here for a few weeks already, but it was enough for him to like it.

He could glance at the kitchen and remember them kissing against the small fridge; Sam teaching him how to cook a pizza; drinking coffee together after Lucifer had spent the night, even after repeating that he wasn’t going to fall asleep, he just looked tired.

He even liked this sofa too, it wasn’t aesthetically appealing because it was a dark, ugly purple, but it was big enough for Sam could come over and easily sit on his lap even if it was intended for just one person to sit, so it wasn’t all bad.

Lucifer glanced at the clock hung on the wall again. Sam always rubbed his back and neck with soothing circles whenever Lucifer felt weary and stressed, pressing the tense spots on the muscles he wasn’t able to fix with expert fingers. He didn’t know how Sam knew when to do it, but he did. And Lucifer wished he could be good at giving massages as Sam was, but he always tended to rub at the spot with too much force, causing Sam to hiss most of times.

Maybe today Sam would know, too. Hell’s business was going slow. Demons didn’t like the change, and Lucifer found himself stressing over constantly. Since he had been searching for Cain and other higher beings to delegate some of the work, things had become tense. However, it was necessary.

He sighed and tilted his side to the right, looking at the empty sofa in front of him. He also remembered calling for Michael days ago, asking for his presence. He had waited for long minutes, but nothing came. Ready to go and return to Hell, he had stood up, but there was a familiar displacement of air that had made him look up, thinking that his brother would be there. He wasn’t. In its place, Raphael stood tall in front of him, looking as tired as he had seen Michael before. “ _Lucifer_.”

Lucifer didn’t say ‘Not you too’, instead he sat again in one of the sofas, motioning Raphael to do the same in front of him. “ _I called for Michael, sister. Not that your company isn’t appreciated, of course._ ”

Raphael sat, apparently agreeing with Lucifer in how awful those seats were if her frown was to go by. “ _He’s busy_ ,” she answered.

“ _Still? One would have thought that he had learnt to delegate some work after so many eons in the same job_.”

“ _You know that not many can do what Michael can, Lucifer._ ”

She didn’t mention how not one, but him could. There wasn’t any resentment in her words, not like those times when they were young and she wanted to help Michael in everything, wanting to be like their older brother, only to find that her grace wasn’t situated for most of his tasks. She atone more with Gabriel, in the same way he did with Michael.

“ _And how is he?_ ” Her lips pursed and that movement made Lucifer lean towards her. “ _You can’t tell me? Did Michael ask you to not tell me anything?_ ”

She glared, confirming his words and Lucifer sent a quick message to his brother, _‘Damn you, Michael. What have you told Raphael?’_

Raphael’s eyebrows twitched and her lips pursed. The action made something lit inside him. “ _You’re hearing Michael’s prayers, aren’t you?_ ” She stood in one fluid movement, visibly started at his statement.

“ _The souls are being protected,_ ” she said quickly before leaving. Lucifer didn’t understand then why she had come when no explanation was going to be given. Nor he did now. But Abbadon appearing in front of the empty sofa his sister had once sat made him pull his musings aside for the moment.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. It had been no more than a few days ago on Earth since he had waked Abbadon up, retrieving her from the space between timelines she was in. It was an attempt to search for his mentor. It wasn’t working so far.

“Shouldn’t be me the one asking that?”

“That I had brought you into this dimension doesn’t mean you’re entitled to follow me wherever I go, Abbadon. Remember that you’re in try-out. I can eliminate you whenever I want.”

She smirked in the way only demons could. “I just want to serve you, my Lord,” she said. “You told me to inform you about Crowley’s whereabouts, am I right?”

Meg mentioned that it was Crowley the one given the task of making sure she didn’t escape. But there was an old pipe in her jail; one that dripped drops of water from time to time in the Salomon’s circle they had trapped her in. After it had erased a part and she was able to escape, she found out that the demons weren’t really strong even if there was a great number of them, the hellhounds still young. It was easy for her to escape with the power she had. So he was curious.

“You have found him?”

Her eyes lit in mischief. “No, but we’ve found interesting information about him working with a powerful pagan god.”

Lucifer wanted to roll his eyes. He really needed to kill every one of them. “Tell me all about it,” he said, his eyes narrowing in disgust when she moved to sit next to him.

 

* * *

 

Once in the hall that led to his apartment, Sam took a deep breath before he opened the door, wanting to erase the tight smile he felt on his lips, as well as subdue the eyes that he was sure screamed ‘I’m going to kill you’. He didn’t want to fight.

Lucifer turned his gaze towards him the moment Sam opened the door in a movement; a beautiful woman sitting gracefully on the arm of his couch, next to Lucifer. She smiled a little too toothily; her red lips framing perfectly her white teeth, a strand of red hair tucked lazily behind her left ear. Pearls curled around her lean neck, seeming to glint alongside her smile. Lucifer was still wearing his pristine white suit, but there wasn’t a tie, the upper bottom was loose, making him look almost casual.

He had looked mildly bored from whatever tale the woman was telling him, however, when his eyes found his something close to affection seemed to soften his stoic face, but then he gave him a glance over and narrowed his eyes, already knowing something wasn’t right. Lucifer stood and in a blink he was standing in front of him; a hand moving to stroke his cheek. “What’s wrong?” he asked, unable to hide his amusement at some of the huffs of annoyance Sam couldn’t seem to be able to stop coming out from his mouth.

“I don’t know, why you don’t tell me?” he whispered harshly.

Looking honestly confused, Lucifer tilted his head. Sam scoffed and glanced towards the woman. He saw for a moment eyes filled with revulsion before her smile appeared and she stood. Sam had at least the modesty to smile back.

“So this is your chosen companion, my Lord?” She made an exaggerated flourish with her hand. “A pleasure to meet you, Samuel.”

Lucifer’s features barely changed. “You may go, Abbadon,” he said evenly, a hint of a tortuous promise in his voice.

“And Hell?” she said, walking closer to Lucifer’s side, touching his arm briefly, the charming smile never leaving her lips as she glanced at Sam from the corner of her eyes. Lucifer didn’t bat an eye.

She wouldn’t have problems with being naked, Sam thought, she’d probably undress gladly if Lucifer asked. He tightened his hold in the bag with food and sighed. He turned towards Abbadon and nodded politely, then looking at Lucifer again, he said, “Finish your business; I’ll be in the kitchen.” The ‘we need to talk’ was implicit, but it was there.

“I’ll be there in a second.” Holding Sam’s free hand, Lucifer kissed his knuckles before turning towards the woman. Sam didn’t hear anything they talked as he closed the kitchen’s door behind him. He leaned on the counter, letting it take his whole weight.

Taking his jacket harshly away, Sam placed the bags of food on the small table and started taking plates out to serve his food, but stopped, placing the food in the fridge instead with a sigh.

“How have you gotten that?”

Sam’s turned left and saw Lucifer under the doorway, watching the two big wet brownish dots on the collar of his white shirt. “Well, I was drinking some coffee and one of your minions walked into me, making me drop most of it.”

Bending closer to smell something on his neck, Lucifer frowned. “Did he do anything to you?”

“That’s the weird part, he didn’t! He was going to say something but stopped when he saw me,” Sam puffed his chest and crossing his arms tightly over his chest. “He looked afraid of me.”

Lucifer visibly relaxed and leaned even more to kiss his jaw but Sam swatted him away, feeling the indignation welling inside him again at Lucifer’s indifference. With others, he would have tried to rub it off, smile and say ‘it’s okay’, but this was Lucifer. “I don’t think you understand. He almost bowed in front of me in the middle of the street. The fucking street. And then he was spluttering, saying ‘I’m sorry, my Lord’ and things like that.” He swatted him again when Lucifer tried to hug him. “What the fuck, Lucifer. Seriously, what the fuck?”

Lucifer attempted to look innocent. “You said that everyone I wanted could know about our relationship.”

“What did you do, scream at the top of the biggest mountain in Hell or something?” For the look Lucifer gave him, Sam suspected that it wasn’t far from reality. He ran a hand through his face. “You basically peed on me so no one would touch me, right?”

When he didn’t hear an answer, Sam peeked under his fingers. Lucifer’s troubled expression made him pull his hand away. “Are you mad?”

“Mad? I─” Sam looked down. It didn’t really surprise him Lucifer’s actions. Something told him that it would happen, but… “I don’t know.”

Lucifer’s palm was cool on his nape, pulling him up so they could lock eyes. “I don’t want anything happen to you. I won’t stop you from hunting, but this way at least demons won’t be the ones you’ll have to worry. Maybe they can even protect you if I’m not close.”

“I can protect myself.”

Pressing their foreheads together, Lucifer sighed. Cool breath ghosted over his skin. “Sam, you’re a human,” he said as if that was enough explanation. “You can die so easily and then I won’t be able to have you.”

“Our deal was to─”

“I don’t care about the deal,” Lucifer sneered, the temperature in the room visible drooping, before visibly taking a breath and calming himself. “You’re going to live until you’re old and your body can’t anymore.”

“...Do I want to ask what’s going to happen to me when I die? Because─”

“You don’t want to be in Hell, Sam. I just want to look after you.”

“I don’t know what I want now,” he said exasperatedly, “but at least I want to have the choice to choose for myself, Lucifer!” He moved his arm away and walked towards the kitchen’s door, his throat closing and tension filling his being. “I know that for you I’m a weak little human, but I can protect me. I can decide what I want.”

Lucifer looked over his laptop that still lay over the table since that morning pointedly. “You were preparing yourself for a vampire nest. I don’t think that qualifies as a way to know how to decide things that aren’t going to harm you, Sam.”

“Were you looking into─” his voice cracked slightly.

To Sam’s horror, his stress was manifesting itself in angry tears. He can feel the wetness in his eyes and he knew he wasn’t that far from the tears actually falling. So he squeezed his eyes shut and drew in a painful ragged breath.

_God, why am I so weak?_

He wasn’t like this.

“We can’t talk like this. I’m tired from working and you─ you look tired, too. I… I need to take a walk,”

 _No, stop._ He would not show weakness. Digging his nails into his palms he shook his head and turned, a hand spread over the door.

He felt Lucifer’s body close behind him when he didn’t immediately open the door, fingers ghosting over his arm. “You know that I love you.”

“I know.” Sam bit his lower lip, trying to stop the trembling in them as a smile curled around his lips. He placed his free hand over Lucifer’s, squeezed once, and let go. “I love you too.”

He pushed the door without looking back. In part because he didn’t want to lose his temper and cry; in other part because he didn’t want to look at the expression Lucifer wore.

He was a coward.

 

* * *

 

Sam didn’t know how long he had wandered, hands inside his pocket and tears falling on his cheeks; gaze down as he continued walking in the cold street, trying to stop the dry sobs that escaped him from time to time. It was already winter and the brush of the wind was almost painful. It was worse when you were crying. Though he was able to see his warm breath lingering in the air, condensing the cold atmosphere surrounding him. It was beautiful in its simplicity and it relaxed him. He liked the cold, loved it in fact, every breeze that brushed against his skin felt like the lingering of Lucifer’s touches. He wondered if Lucifer’s breath would do the same as his or the air would remain the same.

He groaned when he realizes that in his attempt to seclude himself from people he was now in a part of town he didn’t know well. Drying his tears, he entered inside the nearest coffee shop, he wanted to drink something warm. Needed it to keep his head clear.

A soft bell rang the moment he pushed the door open. The place was small, brown and cream colors painting the walls; tables made from dark, old wood were spread around the room. It was cozy in a way. It emanated a welcoming aura and Sam could felt his shoulders relax at the ambient. He looked at the place, at the warm lights that made it look as if it wasn’t winter outside. Sam didn’t know much of art but the paintings that hung on the walls looked familiar and too well done, as if they were the real-deal. But it couldn’t be, could it?

“Like it?”

Sam was so immersed in looking at his surroundings that he hadn’t noticed the man behind the counter. As the place, there was something warm about him. Maybe it was how easily he carried himself, the smile on his face, or his golden colored eyes, looking as if they were caramel melted by the sun.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t intent to hover.” Sam walked towards him. From close, he noticed that his hair wasn’t brown, but chestnut.

The man shrugged. “That’s okay. Want something?” he pointed at the board hung behind him. “I make a mean vanilla latte. What the doctor ordered for this weather.”

Sam smiled, there was something in the man that felt familiar. Comfortable. “Okay, just not too sugary.”

“Now you’ve offended me.” The man pressed a hand against his chest in a mock-hurt expression. Sam chuckled and chose to sit as he waited for his drink. That way at least he won’t look as if he hovered over the guy. He didn’t wait long, a few minutes later the guy was placing a cup in front of him.

“Thanks,” Sam said before drinking, pleased at the taste of it. It was actually very good. He glanced at the side, were one paint hung. There weren’t any windows but it was nice. He kept drinking, slowing his pace with each sip. As his mind calmed and the anger retreated, Sam realized that he wanted to be with Lucifer in this coffee shop, drinking.

He shook his head, perhaps he shouldn’t have gone as he did. Though he knew that if he stayed, things would get worse between them and Sam hated to fight with him. He hated to fight with anyone he loved. It hurt. Dean had always been the emotionally constipated; Sam the one that talked about his feelings. He wondered when it came difficult to do so. When it started to scare him to open up.

“Your cup is getting cold.” Sam looked up and saw the man sitting in a chair that he hadn’t seen before, one that put them in the same height. “Problems in Paradise?” he asked, a small gleam of mischief in his eyes, as if what he had just said was the funniest thing ever. “You look as if you’ve relationship problems. I’m not going to say anything, but just know that many know me as Dr. Love.” He winked.

“Just the usual,” Sam conceded, darting his eyes away because the expression he wore reminded him of Lucifer. Wanting to change the subject, Sam added, “How is that this place is empty if you can make drinks like this?” He pointed his cup. “Bad marketing?”

The guy laughed. “Have you forgotten that we’re in winter? This is the time everyone wants to open coffee shops.”

Sam hummed and took another sip. With a latte like the one he was drinking, it was strange that there weren’t lines waiting by the door. He finished the cup and looking down at the empty mug, he thought in buying another one. For Lucifer. He wanted to return to their apartment and talk. How long has it been? An hour?

Taking a deep breath, he felt courage building inside him. He stood. “I want one to go.”

The man shook his head, looking truly apologetic. “Sorry, no can do. I don’t have more of those cups to go; probably tomorrow I’ll have them.” Sam let all the air he had inhaled in one go. “Oh,” he breathed.

“Really. Sorry, kiddo. But let me tell you this, you come next time and I give you a discount, deal?” Sam tried to smile. He didn’t remember where this place was. “You know what always sets me in good mood?” The man said when Sam didn’t move. “A magic trick.”

Sam raised an eyebrow and repeated, incredulous, “A magic trick?”

“Yeah.”

The guy stood from his chair and bend down to search for something inside the counter. Sam couldn’t see what it was but before he had the chance to lean, the guy was already jumping, looking up at him as he showed him a black hat.

“Okay, look. Nothing inside.” He made a show of putting his hand inside the hat and Sam peered over to see that it indeed, it was empty. “Nothing under my sleeves either.”

Sam snorted. “Okay, okay. What are you gonna pull from the hat now, I wonder.”

The man seemed to appreciate his sense of humor. He winked and his hand covered the hat’s hole. He closed his eyes, pouted a little, and exhaled. He then looked at him. “I need to say the magic words, so it can work.” Sam huffed in amusement. The words that came from the man next were short, rough. It made the fine airs of his arms rise.

Lucifer always told him to trust his instinct.

His hand was moving towards his belt by the time the man snapped his fingers, his own closing around the edge of the knife. But before he could do anything, in a quick movement, the man was already pulling a long feather from the hat and was smiling at him. “Ta-dah!”

Sam’s eyes widened. He looked inside the small hat and the feather again. It was impossible that by its length it had come from it. The man shrugged easily. “I know, I’m awesome.”

“How did you do it?”

“Sorry, kiddo, a magician never reveals his secrets.” There was something in his smile that Sam couldn’t place. Something familiar. “But, here. The feather is yours.”

Sam backed slightly away when the feather was placed in front of him, a few inches away from his face. “It’s beautiful,” he said and grabbed the feather. The feeling in his gut was still there and his right hand was on top of his tight, close to the weapon.

The feather was caramel from close, but when one swirled it, it glinted gold. Strange patterns covered it, he didn’t know if the color was blue or silver, but it was still stunning. Close to the quill were thin yellow-colored strands, looking innocent and small in contrast to the sharp end. It emanated comfort, as the coffee shop did, but purer. It felt like those times Lucifer brushed his soul and Sam felt at ease as he relaxed between his arms.

He remembered being curled against Lucifer side in the hospital’s room, his hushed voice as he told Sam about how he escaped the Cage. Mentioning all what he had seen, the brothers that visited him. He remembered how he went quiet after he told him about his youngest brother, how he had gone away in disappointment and longing, not being able to stay in Heaven anymore.

When he thought Lucifer wasn’t going to continue, he started talking about how he was: joy incarnated, happiness immediately lit in those that surrounded him. As Raphael had been behind Michael, seeking knowledge; Gabriel was behind him, always curious to learn what he had to teach. He cared like Raphael: deep, with its whole self. But unlike her, whose love was more silent and calm, he chose to externalize it. Showed it to everyone, fledglings and older alike. But, like Lucifer, love had been his downfall too.

He looked up, a more genuine smile curling on his lips. “It is beautiful,” he repeated and the man huffed, seemed to fidget on his feet in embarrassment as if Sam had made him the best compliment ever.

“Oh, you.” He waved a hand, the smirk on his lips looked so damn familiar, it made him long. Sam put his right hand inside his pocket. The key was still there. He pulled it out and played with it between his fingertips, it looked small on his large hands.

“It looks empty; you better find a key-ring or something for it.” Sam found the man looking down at his hand, a lazy smirk spread over his cheeks. Their eyes meet and Sam swore he saw a golden gleam in his eyes, something powerful and dangerous shone behind them. “Now you better go, kiddo. I’ve to close, you know.”

For some reason, it sounded like a warning. A threat under a sweet voice.

Sam snorted. Yeah, it was Lucifer’s brother alright.

 

* * *

 

When Sam returned home, Lucifer wasn’t there.

Sam wanted to call for him but he thought that, perhaps, like he did, Lucifer also wanted some time alone. It had passed less than an hour since he took a walk. He pulled the feather out of his jacket and placed it inside one of his drawers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGHHHHHHHHH. I hate this chapter so much It looks like a mexican novel ; _ ; (I live in South America, I know of mexican novels. The brazilian ones are similar but better, with less weird cameras angles and-- ugh. I'm stalling. Sorry.)  
> Well, I hate most of the chapters I write just before posting so hope you still enjoy.
> 
> Comments, kudos, and specially critics are appreciated.


	3. A new company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it.

 

Sam woke up at the sound of his alarm. It was a high-pitched tone that Sam had started using a few months back and probably others would not notice if it sounded. He was trying to get used to wake up by barely ever hear sounds as to improve his hunting skills and he thought that it was working. Still, upon hearing it, he buried his head into his pillow, muffling a yawn before turning his head slightly to the side and cracking one eye open. He guided his hand towards his phone and turned the alarm off, returning his face to the soft cushion as he sighed. Lucifer wasn’t next to him in the bed. There weren’t any crinkles on the sheets or sounds coming from the kitchen, either. It seemed that he hadn’t returned home.

Turning to his side and facing the empty spot, Sam rested the hand grabbing his phone on top of the cool sheets. His alarm always sounded at nine for him to do everything he needed until his shift started at four. He had some free time to kill, but didn’t feel like doing anything. His left hand moved towards his stomach, fingers stroking the parts where the skin was still smooth and not burnt. He was hungry. He remembered eating some fruit instead of the food he bought yesterday, so that take-out should still be inside the fridge.

He didn’t move, though. His eyes still fixed on the phone in his hand.

 _I should stand up and eat something_ , Sam thought, seeing how his fingers twitched before his eyes closed.

He opened his eyes after a while, pressing the button on the side of the phone to see how the screen lit. It was fifteen to ten. He placed the phone under his palm, making sure that the screen was facing the sheets and turned his body to look at the ceiling, his interlaced fingers on top of his chest. He was hungry. He really should move.

Glancing at the door, Sam thought about how easy it would be to stand up and go to the kitchen, take the food out of the fridge and put it inside the microwave. Then he could return to the bed, if he wanted. Maybe go to the small living room and watch some TV.

He didn’t.

Sam hummed, feeling suddenly nostalgic. He remembered this happening many times before, just looking at a ceiling as he waited. Waiting for what, he didn’t know, but it was somewhat pleasant that there wasn’t sadness, guilt, or tiredness accompanying him this time. Just a bit of impatience at the edge. Still. He sighed. Usually when this happened, he had Lucifer to bother, as he was worse; at least Sam woke up. Lucifer liked to curl into the sheets and grab Sam by his middle. He wasn’t a morning person.

In an attempt to make him stay with him in bed a little longer, they shared kisses and light touches that made him forget about everything for a moment.

“Maybe it’s the change in my pills?” he spoke at the empty room. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t answer him back, but he knew what was happening, so he should be able to move and go eat something. He pursed his lips and glanced again at the door. He should move.

His phone went off with the tune that signaled an incoming message. Sam grabbed the device and tapped the screen after reading that the owner of the text was Lisa.

_Wanna go and eat something? Library at 12_

Sam answered with a ‘Sure’ and let the phone rest next to his pillow. It was already eleven and his stomach was urging him for food. Usually, it took him fifteen minutes to go there so he had time to shower and shave, maybe eat something light because it was most likely that the food was expensive and at least that way, he’d be able to buy something small.

He closed his eyes for a while and considered where they could go to eat. When he looked at the screen again, it was half past eleven. His hand closed around the device tightly before he inhaled from his nose once, letting the phone go completely. He had some time to change his clothes.

_Stand up. Stand up. Stand up._

He looked at the phone. Eleven thirty-five.

His right foot moved impatiently. Maybe he should call Lisa; she would understand.

Eleven thirty-seven.

And tell her what? That he couldn’t stand up? That was just pathetic.

Eleven thirty-eight.

Sam rubbed both hands over his face and glanced at the door, his respiration speeding slightly even as he could feel his face expressionless. Fuck, not again.

Eleven thirty-nine.

 _Well, at least it’s better than before, right?_ Sam thought as he looked at the ceiling. He turned his head to peer at the phone in his hand, waiting for the thirty-nine to turn into forty. He was able to feel his heart beating faster, the usual tight sensation in his chest was there, too. Sam didn’t wait for the forty. Throwing the phone on the pillow next to his, he stood up, grabbed his yesterday clothes, and changed. He splashed some water on his face when he was in the bathroom and didn’t bother to look at his reflection. He grabbed an energy bar from the kitchen’s counter and took his pills with a glass of water as he searched for the coat he was sure he left on the couch. It wasn’t there but it was already late so he left the apartment without it, almost running.

His eyes prickled when the desperation didn’t lessen. Or maybe it was the cold wind brushing against his cheeks almost painfully, some of it entering in his eyes as warm puffs of breaths formed as he exhaled.

When he was outside the bookstore, he checked the time. Fifteen past twelve. He took a deep breath and went inside, spotting Lisa rather quickly. Lisa looked up from the book’s synopsis she was reading when he was a few steps away. She smiled.

“Sorry I’m late, Liz.”

She left the book on top of others with the same cover and her smile faltered when she looked at his disheveled look. “Don’t worry. Some problem?”

Sam shrugged. “No more than the usual,” he said as they both walked towards the door. “So what do you want to eat?”

He was already midway in the small stairs outside the store when he noticed that Lisa wasn’t following. Sam turned his head and saw Lisa’s eyes on his hair. He unconsciously ran his fingers through it.

“Is there something in my hair?”

Lisa shook her head. “You didn’t wash it today.” Sam blinked in surprise, feeling a small blush creep into his cheeks. He tried to find words to say at that, but nothing came. “Are you sure you want to go eat outside? We can buy some food and cook something in my house. Or yours.” She then walked towards him, stopping at his side. “I’m not really good at it, but I’ve heard that I do a good pasta.”

Frowning, Sam slowly nodded. “Are you sure? I thought you wanted to try that new restaurant.”

“The restaurant will be there tomorrow, or the day after. So what’s going to be? Your apartment, or mine?”

“Well, mine is nearest.”

“Then yours is it. That way you can also lend me some of that herb you gave last month?” she said, then after seeing him squinting at trying to remember which one was, she added, “That’s if you still have it, of course.”

“No, no. I’m sure I’ve some. Just trying to remember which one I give you,” Sam said, completely honest. He had spent the last two months giving herbs to everyone, he knew and sometimes he forgot what he gave to each of them. He had it written in a notebook, though, so it was okay.

She glanced at him and gave him a smile. “Yeah, heard you’re quite the herbalist now, sure you don’t want to follow that as career instead of folklore?”

Sam snorted. “I’m really sure.”

They stopped talking then, already close to the store, just having to walk for a short while, and even if the silence wasn’t awkward Sam still felt an unsettling sensation. He was nervous to ask but it was when they were inside and Lisa was choosing between all the vegetables that Sam took a deep breath and asked, “Why?”

Lisa didn’t pretend that she didn’t know what he was asking. “In all the time we’ve known each other, you always washed your hair, Sam, even if you don’t need to brush your insanely soft hair, you still do.” She looked over her shoulder and fake glared at him. “I think you made a deal with the Devil to get that hair.”

Sam chuckled as he thought about Lucifer making a deal for that, but the laugh quickly died in his throat. Lisa hadn’t seen him before in those days when he hardly showered, food piling on top of another as he didn’t have the energies for putting it all in the trash, the stench in his college apartment had gotten after Jess and Dean’s death. He was barely relieved that he could still run his fingers through his hair and go to classes looking as if he still cared about his appearance.

His voice was barely audible when he opened his mouth again. “I still don’t understand why─”

She sighed and turned completely to look at him, a hand on her hip. “Are you sure you feel fine, Sam?”

He was ready to say “I’m fine”, defensive, but he couldn’t. Lisa knew. Lisa understood. Nothing bad would happen if he said something. Besides, it wasn’t as if something big had happened. It was ridiculous now that he thought about it, making difficult to talk about it, even more now because Lisa probably thought it was something worse. He took a deep breath, eyes down. “I just couldn’t get up from bed,” he confessed, feeling ashamed. “It probably was because I forgot to eat my pills yesterday.”

“And have you already eaten them?”

Sam didn’t look up from the floor.

“Then you can do that once we’re in your apartment.” She hummed. “Is this the first time it happens to you in a long time?”

It was her tone, Sam noticed, the lack of judgment in there that put him at ease. No questions. Not the ‘you’re just lazy’ phrase underneath. It came normal. It made him feel normal. She understood.

“No, but I usually wake up with Luc—my boyfriend. He doesn’t like to sleep and wakes a bit grumpy so I spend some time with him in bed and, dunno, the feeling kind of goes away?” His eyebrows knit together as he thought in their discussion. “Though we fought yesterday and I─ I don’t know. I don’t like to fight with him, I like him to be by my side and do things together, but─” he stopped, ran a hand through his hair, and looked at Lisa with frown. “Am I becoming too dependent, I think?”

There was a hint of desperation in his voice. Sam had been fighting to overcome his depression, but whenever he felt better and thought of the possibility of being fine, something happened that reminded him of how not normal he was. He wanted to become his own person, but was he really doing something to achieve that or was he just searching for someone to cling to?

“No, no. I get it. Well, kind of.” She inhaled, placing the carrots she was holding inside the cart. There’s a small curl forming on her lips. “Have I introduced you to Charlie? She’s my cat; my sister gave it to me. She likes to lie on top of me in the morning to demand for food and I spend some time petting her while being in that position until her purr turns too loud and, well, I don’t know what I’d have done without her. She’s the one that helps me to wake up every morning.” Sighing, she glanced up at him until their eyes locked. “Let’s face it, Sam. We can’t do it alone. No, don’t give me that look. If─ When we are cured, it’ll be by ourselves, I’m sure of it. But we can’t do it alone. Is not being dependent.”

It probably was because she wasn’t as bad as him. She hasn’t had it as long as he had. She was able to remember when her depression had started unlike him and hadn’t─

Sam turned his eyes away, unable to look at her, and swallowed. Guilt swelled inside him but he exhaled, he wanted to dig his nails into his palm but refrained. He knew she was right, but still. There was something inside telling him that not, he would never be all right. This would be the better he was going to get. However, there was a small part in him that was sure he’d be fine, that he could overcome it alone and then show Lucifer how strong he was.

Clearing his throat, Sam turned to Lisa again. “So what are going to eat, exactly?”

She raised an eyebrow at his inability to subtly change the subject, but didn’t press him for more, motioning him instead to all the ingredients she would need. Telling him about the best way to find better fruits and vegetables after making the mistake of choosing tomatoes without checking which one was the best. She then took it as her duty to teach him the proper way to buy food, and if they spent more time than necessary in that aisle and ended buying few things, well, no one mentioned it.

It wasn’t as if Sam didn’t know how to cook or do grocery shopping, because he did. But it was always other the one in charge with Sam trailing behind, grabbing the bags with food or cutting the ingredients needed, being the one to clean the dishes and set the table. It changed now that he lived alone, but Sam learnt quickly and, how he always went to buy the same days, Lucifer came to accompany him, easing the task somehow as he always tried to use those chances as an opportunity to go out.

“Did you give Luce the key?” Lisa asked looking around at his neighborhood.

Sam looked away from his apartment’s door knob in surprise. “What?” he said.

She signaled the key between his fingers with a nod. “The copy we did yesterday?”

Sam followed her line of sight, a soft ‘oh’ of understanding escaping from his lips. Instead of answering and tell her that he couldn’t because of the fight, Sam went for the other matter that had awakened his curiosity. “Luce?”

She blinked twice in a quick succession, startled and a bit ashamed, even though her eyes never dropped from his. “Sorry, is just that you slipped it before, I just assumed that it was his name.” She gave him a small smile. “I know that you must have a reason to hide it, I shouldn’t have─”

“No, no. It’s okay,” Sam interrupted her, opening the door and opening it for her. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I─” he sighed. “Let’s just keep it at ‘Luce’ for now, okay?”

“Sure,” She went inside with Sam trailing behind, though he quickly went to the kitchen to leave everything there, not noticing how quiet Lisa had become after stepping inside.

It was when the bags touched the counter that he noticed that Lisa hadn’t entered with him. He didn’t return to the small living room, instead he opened the small window connecting the kitchen and the other room. He saw Lisa giving a slow glance at everything around her, rubbing softly her hands in a nervous way. She was tallest than most women ─not close to his height, but maybe near Dean’s─, but now that he looked at her, inside his small apartment that barely had all the necessities, she looked tiny and fragile. Her shoulders were slightly hunched as she tried to calm herself with barely noticed respiration exercises that they have learnt in the hospital. Probably if Sam hadn’t been taught the same exercises, he wouldn’t have notice she doing them. It made him realize that this was the first time he showed his apartment to her.

They often had different schedules with some days Sam being the one to close and others she being the one doing it. In the morning, she did some chores and three times a week taught yoga while Sam used his mornings to do some research for his next hunt or learning more about hunting in general, and going to the state where the actual hunting happened, too. He then spent the nights at Bobby’s, helping Jo with her homework or with Lucifer, lying together in the couch while watching movies.

“You still haven’t unpacked all.”

Sam blinked, realizing that he had spaced out and that Lisa was now looking at him with a faint smile, still quiet. She was brushing her fingers on one of the boxes he had placed almost behind the biggest couch. Sam walked closer, stood a few feet away from her, enough to open the box.

“Those are books, actually. I thought in no packing everything as I’m going to move again in a couple months.” She glanced at the small counter full with books with certain curiosity. Sam fidgeted on his feet. “Yeah, I know. Looks weird but those are my favorite ones. I like to see them there.”

A huff escaped her and Sam saw some of the tension slowly draining from her. She leaned in and grabbed one of the books inside the box. She turned to read the back but something fell from its middle, surprising both. Sam instantly leant down to inspect if it was important.

“Why do you have a crayon hidden in a book?” she asked after Sam showed her what he had retrieved: A white crayon.

“I’m not entirely sure…” He didn’t remember ever buying a— oh. He remembered this. It had been initially a pencil hidden inside the book, one he had used after he found out his doctor thought he was having hallucinations. He remember going to his room and pushing the end into his skin, wanting the pain that would made him think clearer and keep the anxiety creeping at bay. Lucifer healed him that time, turning the pencil into the innocent crayon that was now between his fingertips as he embraced him and let him cry against his shoulder.

He wanted to throw the crayon away.

He didn’t say anything as he stood, never moved too far from her line of sight as he grabbed a kettle and placed it on the oven. “I’ll do something to drink, would you put the food we don’t need inside the fridge, please?” he asked, pulling out some cups. She looked relieved at been given something to do even if the tension didn’t leave from her frame yet.

“You want to talk about it?”

Sam stopped midway from opening the shelf with herbs. “Luce gave it to me after I hurt myself with a pencil.” It was blunt but it had always bothered him why Lucifer chose a white crayon, why not simply make it disappear? Sam stopped searching between all the herbs he had. He leaned against the counter and let it took his weight. “I didn’t think much of it at first, but then, later— well, sometimes I thought it was because it was like me, bland and without a point; that doesn’t serve for anything. Maybe he wanted to remind me how much more he is.”

“He’s not more than you, Sam. No one is more than another person.”

Sam snorted, a tired hand moving to rub his face. Lucifer wasn’t a person, he wanted to say, wishing he could talk to other about this.

“You told me he loved you. You’re not supposed to think you’re better than the other is if you love someone. Things… Things can go wrong if that happens.” Lisa exhaled slowly, closing the fridge before walking closer. “Besides, that’s not true.” A small hand touched his arm. “You use the white in dark backgrounds to bring the light into a drawing. You use it to give a contrast.”

“I don’t think that was the reason.”

“Have you ever asked him?” He didn’t say anything so she continued. “See? Maybe it’s not what you think it is.” She squeezed lightly his arm but didn’t let go until the kettle’s high-pitched sound started. Sam pulled the herb out and started serving it.

“That’s an awful lot of herbs,” Lisa said, her voice sounded as if everything was normal even if her shoulders still had a hint of tension in them. “When you gave me that herb I didn’t think you had this much.” Sam smiled, opening the shelf wider to show her better the inside without her needing to approach. “I haven’t seen some of those and that’s saying something because my mom had a small garden full of all kind of those.”

“Well, Luc─ Luce likes to bring all types of dried herbs,” Sam chuckled, often Lucifer would come late, give him a kiss on his cheek and then go to the shelf that Sam had named ‘the garden’ since long ago, put inside the new herb he brought, and finally tell Sam about what its purpose was.

She walked closer to sniff the plant Sam had in his hand. “Are all medicinal?”

He didn’t say anything but never moved too far from her line of sight as he grabbed a kettle and placed it on the oven.

“Would you put the food we don’t need inside the fridge, please?” he asked, pulling out some cups. She looked relieved at been given something to do even if the tension didn’t leave from her frame yet. Sam opened one shelf and searched between all the herbs he had in there.

“That’s an awful lot of herbs,” Lisa said in a small tone as she closed the fridge, her voice sounded as if everything was normal even if her shoulders still had a hint of tension in them. “When you gave me that herb I didn’t think you had this much.” Sam smiled, opening the shelf wider to show her better the inside without her needing to approach. “I haven’t seen some of those and that’s saying something because my mom had a small garden full of all kind of plants.”

“Well, Luc─ Luce likes to bring all types of dried herbs,” Sam said, slightly amused. Often Lucifer would come late, give him a kiss on his cheek and then go to the shelf that Sam had named the ‘mini garden’ since long ago and then put inside the new herb he had brought, then telling Sam about what its purpose was.

“Are all medicinal?” she asked, walking closer to sniff the plant Sam had in his hand.

“Well, he had read somewhere that there were specific herbs to treat depression symptoms and since then he had started bringing all of these.” Sam pointed at the stack. It was a half true, because Lucifer had always brought herbs, but those were for spells, now there were others just for him to drink. “The one I gave you was Black Cohosh. He brought it as a joke because it’s used when you’ve andropause, but it’s also used when you’ve PMS so I thought it would work with your problem that time.”

“Well, it did work. What else do you have?”

Sam pursed his lips and turned to the shelf, pointing at the ones in the front as he named them. “I’ve got rosemary and St. John’s Wort, Holy Basil and I think this is Licorice root. All for anxiety and stress.” He moved them away to see what was behind, but there were too many that Sam gave up and sighed. “Seriously, I’ve got a lot. You can take some, no problem.”

He heard a chuckle and turned to see Lisa smiling widely. “And he just comes and adds more herbs to the collection?” When Sam nodded and smiled back, his cheeks feeling warm, she added, “That’s so cute. I can’t picture the man that came into the bar with all this.”

Sam snorted. He was sure Lucifer was going to get a laugh from this when he heard that someone called him cute. He was going to say exactly that, but Lisa’s posture was so relaxed that he wanted to make her laugh even more. “And you don’t know about the coupons.”

“Coupons?” she asked, her tone half curiosity and half amusement. Sam moved to the other side of the counter and opened another shelf. She leaned close to look inside. “Whoa. That’s a lot of coupons.” Her eyes went from the neat cut-coupons to Sam’s face. “He collects coupons?”

Sam shook his head and shrugged. “He once saw me cutting some from the newspaper and since then he gets a hold of these from anywhere to use later.”

She grabbed a bunch of coupons to read them and Sam found her expression funny. Actually, he found the whole situation funny. She wouldn’t understand how hilarious this really was without knowing who Lucifer was, but Sam did and that was enough for his lips to tremble as he tried to contain his laugh. Though it warmed his heart, too. Seeing Luciferdo this kind of things for him just because he knew that Sam needed to save as much money as he could because he was going to need a new apartment for when his next year’s classes started. He could snap his fingers and do everything more easily, but he didn’t.

“There are a lot from other states and countries, too. The expiration date has already passed in some, though,” Lisa said, passing one of the coupons and giving him a curious expression. “Does he travel a lot?”

Sam grabbed the coupon and looked at it. That one was set in Italy and Sam remembered Lucifer dragging him there, buying some sauces, and then going to take pictures of the architecture he saw near the shop. He also recalled Lucifer insisting to do the scene of the Lady and the vagabond with the pasta they stopped to eat in a break from sightseeing.

He remembered insisting to return home and leave the food inside the fridge and Lucifer brushing his thumb across his jaw, looking at him in the dim lights as if Sam was something precious before leaning to kiss him.

“Maybe I’m the coupon collector,” Sam admitted, placing the coupon in its place.

 

* * *

 

 

Lucifer was good at multitasking. In the times when he was one of Heaven's princes, Michael's left hand, he had to follow orders from his older brother, planning what to do next with the other archangels while at the same time giving orders to hundreds of angels. He was used to the chatter of hundreds of siblings in his head, so he was able to process information faster than most, bend possibilities at an unnatural speed to make things work at his liking.

However, he had discovered that his method didn't work when you were dealing with free-willed cognizant beings. Or at least with ones he didn't want to impose his will into.

He had also discovered that when you were able to think in different options at a fast speed, but were unable to act upon them, impotence crept into you as nasty and desperate as any human virus would do. From all the emotions Sam had made him feel, that was probably one of the worst.

Sam was brilliant, smart, and very dear to him, but even with all his qualities, he was still a human so he needed time to process every kind of different things. Lucifer wasn't a patient being but he looked like one thanks to his long life span that made his perspective of time different from a human’s.

Sam once voiced ─slightly ashamed and guilty─ that he was glad their perspectives of time were different because it allowed him more time to think without the need to rush, knowing that what he considered a long time was a blink of an eye to Lucifer and that made him quite annoyed. It was true that for him a day, or a week, was nothing; he could blink and a year would have passed uneventful.

He sighed. It was also true that a human’s life lasted little. One hundred years at much, if they took care of their bodies. And even though Sam did take care of his body and probably Lucifer could elongate his life a little more, it would never be long enough. He wanted to spend all the time Sam could give him with him, basking in the glory of his soul and care, watching him while he did everything to accomplish his goals with firm determination. But he couldn’t as he still needed to take in account the time Sam needed apart from him to think and be without him.

When angels mated, their grace almost blended together until one was unable to distinguish where the other ended and where one began. Sometimes even their union originated a new being. It didn’t matter how much time he had interacted around demons and their antics, this time apart needed from each other was still a novelty to him. Lucifer was a selfish and inpatient being and he didn’t like that he got to waste that precious time. But Sam was a human so he would wait. Sam was worth that much.

Pressing into coat he was wearing, he inhaled. Sam’s presence was still strong, tendrils of his soul still remained. Letting the coat go and pressing his wings close to his side as to not dirt them, Lucifer let his eyes land upon the demons trying to approach, as silent as they could, near the Hellhounds that were asleep on top of flaming rocks. Their steps were calculated, weapons slowly moving upwards as they tried to aim the back of the beast the size of a car. The Hellhound huffed softly, making the demons halt in their spots with terrified expressions. Lucifer didn’t need to check their black souls to notice how weak they were, their actions spoke louder. They were quiet for five minutes, waiting for the beast to do something. When it didn’t do anything else but nuzzle its nose against its paws, the demons continued, not noticing the other Hellhound that had moved behind them.

Lucifer didn’t bother in watch their deaths, focusing instead in the reaction of the others. The sound had awoken some of the Hellhounds near. It might cause some problems to the other demons that wanted to take a claim in a Hellhound for their own, but to him it was a better opportunity to look which was stronger and discard the ones that weren’t.

Although Hellhounds were born from tortured souls that had let themselves fall into their animal instincts ─leaving the opportunity to turn into demon behind and go to earth by its own─, they were surprisingly the more loyal creatures Lucifer had ever encountered. He remembered realizing of their capacity when they were mere younglings millennia ago, half-crazed in their blood lust and bestiality before he turn them into the perfect weapons that were able to evolve into what they were now. The perfect guardians. It was a sign of power for the most powerful because it meant that a Hellhound had chosen to follow you. The lesser demons were fools if they thought they could submit one.

“I was searching for you, my Lord.”

Lucifer turned slightly towards the presence that appeared; Meg had her head down and a hand on top of her chest. Lucifer’s palm brushed her shoulder in a form of greeting and saw her hand dropping to the side. “And you took the inconvenience to make the entire trip towards here? It must be urgent. Have you found anything new?”

She didn’t quite roll her eyes, but it was obvious she refraining to. “Abaddon keeps saying Cain just went on a rampage and killed the other knights before disappearing. I haven’t found anything.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because exactly that.” She smirked. “I haven’t found anything dating from that time. Not even about the movement about the other knights. Everything’s lost.”

Lucifer hummed as he turned his head to continue look at the Hellhounds. There was one big and menacing that seemed to be taking care of a pup. “I gave Abaddon the same task I gave to you. Have you found anything about Crowley?”

He saw from the corner of his eye how she crossed her arms over her chest. “Besides that rumor that he’s doing a pagan’s work? Nothing.”

Narrowing his eyes, Lucifer turned towards her. “I’ve been told that he was working with one, not for one.”

“There were spikes of energy building up recently as to form something. The magic was Crowley’s but the energy wasn’t his.”

“How I didn’t notice?”

Meg shrugged. “Crowley’s mother was a witch. He knows some tricks. I’m more in tune with witchcraft than you, my Lord. Maybe that’s why.”

Lucifer leaned forward as too see the beast he had spotted before eating a lesser Hellhound. “You think I should tune myself more with it?”

He was giving her his back so he didn’t saw her expression but Lucifer noticed clearly her surprise. She hid it when she started talking, though. “Some demons might be more comfortable if you did that as they currently doubt your loyalties but it’d taint you, my Lord. It’d be best for you to delegate the dirty work to others."

"And I here thought I had obliterated almost all of my antagonists and the ones seeding rumors. At least, making Sam public dissipated some of them.” Meg didn’t say anything after that, but Lucifer saw the way her lips pursed in amusement. “Is there something I should know?”

"You probably put him in a higher regard than you should have done. Now there are whispers calling him the Boy King and think of him as your consort and their new leader. It’s making a good distraction for the loyalists, even if it’s annoying Abaddon.”

“Boy King? I like that title.” Lucifer hummed, as if tasting the name. “Abaddon is truly loyal to me, she doesn’t worry me too much, but there’s something she hides and I’d like you to keep a close eye on her while searching for Cain. You’re doing a great job so far.”

He looked over his shoulder and saw Meg beaming in dark innocence, almost childishly. He held his hand up and put a lock of hair behind her ear. Sometimes demons were so precious in their loyalty. He let her go and nodded at the direction of the Hellhound. “What do you think about that one?”

She walked forward and looked down at the ground where Hellhounds used to congregate, near the river of fire where torturers threw the souls they were done playing with, the weak ready to be eaten.

“Is my Lord searching for a pet? You’ve never had such interest in claim one for you own.” She grinned at him. “Or this is for your boy? If I’m not mistaken, Sammy’s birthday is still far away.”

“Meg.”

Chuckling, she returned to look at the Hellhound. “Well, female Hellhounds use to be more protective and bigger than the males, but I think that one is too old to be claimed. She’s probably imprinted with the territory or her nest.”

“I’m aware,” Lucifer said. “I was referring to her offspring. The pup.”

She turned towards him and smiled sweetly. “Perfect.”

Lucifer nodded his agreement and pulled Sam’s coat away from his body. “Take care of this until I finish.”

Placing coat on her hands, he started walking towards the Hellhound. Some of the most weak and young moved aside as if sensing his power, giving him enough space to walk freely. Other interposed his path with growls but Lucifer swatted them away with ease. If he could, he would fly in front of the one he had chosen, but there were some parts in Hell you couldn’t fly or teleport, as Hell itself didn’t let you.

Once he stood in front of a Hellhound so large he was sure one of her fangs were the size of his head, Lucifer contemplated the beauty in front of him. Humans weren’t able to see a Hellhound’s true form until they were close to death and Lucifer thought that was a shame for this enormous creature, with her bloodstained snout and leathery skin with some patches of fur. Skin so black one could get lost in it. Smoke and fire leaked from the visible bones of her form while red eyes glinted. She snarled, foul and putrid odor pouring from her breath. The stench of desperation and misery was strong, the consequences of eating the souls around, he was sure.

Lucifer noticed how her eyes shone with an unnatural intelligence. _She knows what I want to do_ , he thought as he extended his hand towards her. The Hellhound was already running towards him, her snout opened, ready to devour him in one movement, but Lucifer’s hand clasped in one of her fangs, stopping the action. The muscles in her jaw broke at the impact, but she didn’t give up even as blood sprouted from her gums. The Hellhound tried to push him away, bit him. Lucifer chuckled as he saw the blood running through his sleeve. He was moved back probably a few inches away. It was a shame she was too old. Lucifer kind of liked her protective nature.

 _Oh, well,_ he thought, placing his other hand on top of her smoky fur, _it’s inherited._

He broke her neck and the Hellhound fell almost instantly. The snapping sound echoing through the entire place.

Lucifer walked around the dead animal towards her pup. The smaller beast never ran away, she was still in the same spot her mother left her. She looked down at him without fear. Lucifer smirked and placed a hand on top of her head, let some of his grace to linger close of his fingertips, showing him he was apt of her. “Will you serve me?”

She barked once and her eyes lit red before her head dropped in submission. Lucifer stroked the fur he found and she lifted her head to smell him, but she looked confused at his lack of scent.

He extended his free hand. “Meg,” he said and the next moment Sam’s coat was placed on his palm. He moved the cloth close so she would sniff it.

“What are you going to do with her form?”

Lucifer placed the coat on top of her broad shoulders. Her head drooped again and she nuzzled her face against his chest. He smirked at Meg. “Did you know Sam loves dogs?”

 

* * *

 

“I told you we should have arranged those a long time ago,” a familiar voice said. Sam didn’t look up from the screen of his computer to the kitchen’s door, not that it mattered anyways, now that he had heard him, Sam was able to appreciate Lucifer’s form under the doorway from the corner of his eye. “I apologize for not coming before.”

He swallowed before straightening up. They locked eyes briefly before Sam’s eyes landed on the coat cradled in Lucifer’s hands. The coat he was searching for in the morning. It looked as if there was something in it, but Sam chose to ignore it for the meantime. “Well, sorry for leaving you here alone that time. I should have been able to─”

“Sam, you needed time. I understand.”

“Yeah… I did.”

Lucifer walked forward and leaned against the counter next to him. “I shouldn’t have looked into the private files in your laptop without asking. Not to satisfy my curiosity. I apologize for that.”

“Well, I should have told you. Its just that─ I knew how you were going to react and I didn’t want to fight. Oh, erase that smile. I know. I just don’t like to feel, you know...”

“Weak?” Sam almost flinched at the words, but he stopped by setting his jaw. “Sam, I’ll repeat this as many times you need to believe it: you’re not weak. I only ask from you to stop being so reckless. You make me worry.”

Sam turned away because he knew. He’s been fighting to prove himself that he can do it, that he can be useful and better, that he has forgotten to act carefully in his last hunts. Though he doesn’t want to admit that. That’s the goal he was currently trying to achieve, the one that gets him up every morning and the one he wants to use to keep going. “Well, if I was stronger then I wouldn’t be making you worry, don’t you think?”

“No. However, I want to make you ponder this: how do you think I’d react when I know you’re in danger? I see you with an injury and I can’t do anything about it.”

As Lucifer spoke, the room became hard to breathe for a moment, but then the coat in Lucifer’s arms started moving and everything returned to normal. There was a silent apology in the way Lucifer’s mouth twitched and his hand moved to reach for his. Sam tried to pull his away, as dirty as it was because of the herbs, but Lucifer seemed to need the touch so Sam let him. “I need you safe. I’m not telling you to stop hunting, just to take care because I wouldn’t want to lose you so soon.”

Sam looked up then because even though he knew Lucifer was destruction and raw power, always acting so secure and in control, there in that moment, standing in front of him, he looked so utterly alone. He was able to see the hint of tiredness and desperation in his eyes and Sam knew he was only showing it to him because he trusted him. It made the weight in his chest heavier and lighter at the same time, there were so many feelings in him he couldn’t pinpoint every one of them. But it felt warm.

“I don’t know why─” Sam shook his head, not knowing how to continue.

“You can ask me anything, Sam.”

And that just made it worse because he knows Lucifer means it. Lisa’s words echo in his head and Sam now desperately needed an answer. He needed to know.

It came out of his mouth before he had really thought about it. “Is this enough for you? I mean, we’re not even the same species. You’re a wavelength of energy and I don’t know if you want something more from me because you don’t even ask. You always say that you like my soul but what about me, the human body I also am?” He sighed all his frustration in one breath before looking down at their entangled fingers. He felt stupid saying out loud his insecurities. But he didn’t want to have problems with him just because they didn’t talk about them. Dean could call him sissy all he wanted. But damn, he wasn’t going to be another emotionally constipated Winchester. “I want to try to give you anything I can because I do love you but the truth is that I don’t know if I am enough to you.”

Lucifer hummed softly, his palm moving from his hand to his arm pulling him into his space as he, at the same time, moved forward, slow and deliberate. Sam looked away, a little ashamed, but then the same hand is stroking his cheek, cleaning a tear he didn’t realize had fallen, before tilting his head slightly upwards. Lucifer’s gaze dropping until their eyes met.

“Never doubt that you aren’t enough, Sam, because you’re so much more in a thousand ways I will never be─ the only one I’ll gladly kneel for.” Lucifer stopped as if he was trying to find the right words. The warm bundle between their bodies moved. “I’ve done so many gruesome things and I’ve enjoyed most of them but whenever I’m with you and see you smiling at me, your brightness makes me feel pure again. It makes me want to do good; be worthy of receiving that type of affection… Sadly, I’m not good. You know that. I’m selfish and jealous. I want to keep you close only for myself to love. I want you to be mine for as long as you let me.”

Their foreheads then touched and Lucifer’s eyes dropped half-close, his nose brushing his almost reverently his and Sam saw there the clear exhaustion the words had brought Lucifer. He really meant what he had said.

_When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it._

He remembered a friend saying it after a class, trying to look deep, as she joked with her boyfriend. He remembered laughing, rolling his eyes and patting the back of the guy, never understanding the meaning behind.

However, now, looking at the powerful being in front of him with his eyes down, touching his skin as if it was something precious and delicate while he himself looking as he were the one that was about to break, Sam couldn’t think of him as a monster. As the bringer of the Apocalypse and the one that started all evil. The human’s boogeyman.

He just couldn’t. He loved him so much.

He was once afraid of his power, about the things he could do with it; maybe one day Sam boring him and Lucifer falling into the temptation to use it and make him do something he didn’t want to. But… they started spending more time together and Sam got to see glimpses of what was behind Lucifer’s usual facade.

Now, he was more afraid of Lucifer turning everything to ash for him. He didn’t know what to do with that piece of information. That kind of power over someone like Lucifer. It wasn’t meant for humans.

Sam didn’t realize his eyes were closed until he heard Lucifer calling softly his name. He opened them and leaned forward to kiss him, wanting that insecure expression gone from his face, both hands going to the sides of his face. Lucifer made a surprised noise but easily complied, letting him take advantage in his lack of breathing as to keep giving small pecks on his mouth.

“I love you,” Sam said between one kiss and another. Lucifer laughed. It was the most wonderful sound Sam had heard all day.

Lucifer’s hand went to the small of his back and pressed him close when Sam started kissing his jaw. “I love your soul because is your essence, is who you are, and even though I admit wishing to hold it close against my grace, I admit that I may have become far too fond of the skin and bones that form you.”

Sam snorted. “Yeah, me too, so don’t change your vessel, please. I kind of like it.”

“Kind of?”

Lucifer pressed him against the counter with his body, and smirked, surprised, when a needy noise escaped from his lips. Sam felt a blush forming and he didn’t have an explanation to give as Lucifer was already leaning down to continue kissing him.

A whining sound stopped him, though. A whining sound and small bumps against their chests. Sam pushed him away and raised an eyebrow at Lucifer before looking down at the coat between their bodies that kept squirming.

Sam put his best stern face on place even though he let Lucifer place another kiss on his lips. “What’s in my coat, Lucifer?”

He tried to peer at what was inside but Lucifer didn’t let him. He usually liked to play games and annoy him in principle so Sam chose to ignore his innocent expression and used his hand to lift his coat and get a better view of the body that was hidden inside his coat. Lucifer placed his free hand on top of his to stop him.

“Well, I heard that you usually had to bring something after you fight with someone. You kissed me, usually that means we’re fine, but just in case, here is your present.”

“What?”

He looked at the form inside his coat again.

_Please don’t be a kid, please don’t be a kid._

Lucifer moved his hand away and he himself lift the cloth.   

“What.”

That he was surprised to find a dog inside it, would be an understatement. He looked up at Lucifer and saw him mouthing ‘surprise’ with a small grin as he pushed the dog towards him. Sam immediately cradled the heavy dog in his arms, close to his chest, while continuing to look at Lucifer with widened eyes.

“I can’t, Lucifer. I don’t have money to spare.”

The dog pushed his head up and even knowing what Sam had said a moment ago was true, he still stroked his head and smiled at the animal.

“Don’t worry, it doesn’t need to eat. Though you can still feed her, if you wish.”

Sam stopped his petting. “This is not a dog?”

“Something akin to it.”

“Lucifer.”

He hummed. “Have you heard of Hellhounds?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, god. I'm awfully sorry for making you wait. My classes started and I don't think I've had more than 4-5 hours per day of sleep in weeks. I've never needed coffee before to stay awake. *long suffering sigh* I took advantage of my two-day holiday to end checking this chapter and I'm half done with the next. Again sorry. Hope you like this chapter, wanted to make it longer but then I'd have made the next shorter and this is already too long as it is.  
> I'm too deep in long stories and can't think in anything original without making it long, so if anyone wants to distract me or smth, I'll recommend you to leave a headcanon in my ask ([dsha](dsha2127.tumblr.com) ), thanks~  
> ALSO! A dear friend of mine has written this wonderful and awesome fic, so if you're into Michifer (or maybe you want to try it), I'd suggest you to read [The Apple of Your Eye](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3619341). It's awesome and could easily be a side-story from what's going on in the show. Really. It's good.  
> Okay, that's all. As always, comments and critics are well appreciated.


	4. A soul's energy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I suck, I know. But I'm back and at least this chapter is a long one.

 

 

There were fireworks on the sky, sound filled the air as flares of light shot one by one from a box on the ground, moving upwards to the dark colored sky. A young man leaned on a car, laughing as he saw his little brother extend his hands up in an attempt to catch the gleams that fell from the explosions above. He shook his head and moved forward, a match on his hands, and knelt to light another set, but his movements suddenly halted. There was a frown marring his features as he looked around, silence slowly engulfing the previous noises. He looked over his shoulder and saw him.

Michael stepped forward. “There’s not need to be afraid of me.”

The young man gave a measured glance at his surroundings, his eyes locked on the figure of his brother. His eyes shining with understanding as a small, sad, smile formed on his lips.

“I died.”

It was not a question, a simple statement. There wasn’t the usual fear, sadness and anger some soul possessed, nor there was a calm acceptance either. The young man was simply full of guilt.

It didn’t last, however, his gaze only stayed down for a second before he looked upwards with fierceness, his eyes lit with fire; determination clear on his posture. “Sam─ Where is he? I- I tried…”

“He is alive, if that’s what you’re asking.”

He sighed, relief sagging his shoulders as it took the weight of responsibility away; one hand covered his mouth and he laughed, head throwing back. His soul shone brightly with love. “Yeah, he’s too stubborn to die.”

He did not know about that, what little he knew about Sam was his suicide attempt and the fondness Lucifer had towards him. But he did not mention that. There was something in this human telling him he would try to escape from and go back to Earth if he did. It also told him he could do it.

“I’m Dean, by the way,” the human said with new-found lightness, “You?”

“My name is Michael.”

Dean’s eyes widened. “As in The Michael? Whoa. I suspected that you were an angel, you reek holiness though you lack some of the Hallmark touches, but, well, you’re the one of the really few angels I know about, so that means you must be a pretty huge deal.”

Michael tried to smother the pleased smile that wanted to spread. Humans sometimes amused him.

Dean leaned once again against the car. They were both alone in the road now. “So what brings the Michael to my little piece of Heaven… because this is Heaven, right?”

“Yes, it is. I just wanted to talk with you.”

“Me?” he snorted. “Is this some kind of poll angels do to all inhabitants of Heaven? You want me to suggest stuff? Well, free wi-fi would come very handy, to tell the truth.”

Michael huffed softly. “I merely wanted a human neutral perspective about something. I know your brother that’s the reason I chose you.”

Dean tensed, some wariness crept in his eyes. “How do you know my brother? You told me he was alive.”

“He is. We know each other because of my brother. They’re in what you humans refer as a romantic relationship at the moment.”

“Hold on, hold on. Are you saying my little brother, Sammy, is dating an angel?”

“An archangel.”

Michael did smile this time at the expression Dean was wearing. “And what’s the friggin difference?”

“An archangel holds more power. It’s older, too. The four of us were the ones watching Creation unfold.”

Dean’s mouth opened and closed several times. “Wait. How did my brother ended with one? As far as I know he doesn’t like dating older people. And being with an archangel sound far worse than any cradle robber that I’ve heard. So much that isn’t even funny.”

Michael frowned. He didn’t understood this human’s worries. “I don’t think my brother classifies as an older person. We’re not humans.”

“Oh, and that’s so much better.” He snorted. “Wait, did you say ‘brother’?”

He had to admit the high pitch in his voice at the end of the sentence was indeed very amusing.

Dean took a deep breath when Michael nodded.

“Okay. I always knew he didn’t care about gender, and considered some men attractive, but _everyone_ can know when others are hot. You’re even kind of hot, I guess. I mean, I just never knew he was _into_ men. This explains so much.”

“My brother is not a man. Angels don’t possess a gender. My brother is simply using a male visage at the moment.”

“Feathers, you’re not helping. I’m one step away from hyperventilating. Too much information. Slow down a bit.”

Michael sincerely couldn’t understand the problem. Perhaps it was a human trait. They weren’t made to process as easily as angels. “What bothers you?”

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t care if my brother likes angel dick. It’s just too much information.”

Perhaps he should reassure him?

“If it makes you feel better, they haven’t had sex yet.”

He looked at him between his fingers.

“Do I want to know how you know that?”

“Our real voices can shatter your eardrums so, and from what I can recall from my younger brother who is on Earth, changing the wavelength of the sound that escaped him while in the middle of the intercourse was the only way to not harm humans. Although it still was in one we, angels, could discern.”

Dean blinked a couple times away from him before sighing. “I don’t think I needed to know you all angels always know when the other is having sex, but ─ okay, before we go into another tangent and I end traumatized for life, tell me what did you want to talk about.”

Nodding, Michael leaned against the car, as to ease some of the tension in Dean with the human gesture. “I want to make changes in Heaven. I’ve already started with the angels, but I wanted to know a human’s perspective of this, too.”

“So this visit really is for a poll. Awesome.” Dean chuckled. “Sorry, Feathers. I haven’t even realized that I was in Heaven until you came. I don’t know how long I’ve been here. It felt like being in a dream. Though I guess now that I’ve ‘woken up’ I can go and visit mom.”

“You can’t.”

Dean looked up with a speed that surprised Michael. “What?”

“In order to maintain the status quo among souls, each one of you has a personalized Heaven for you to revive your fondest memories. That way you can live in peace without feeling any negative emotions.”

“That’s some Matrix crap, right here. We just get to revive our greatest hits for eternity? What comes next, you’ll tell me that you use us as battery or something.”

“Souls do possess energy, but we use it to supply the cycle of life and reincarnation. Is not for our own use, but for your species.”

“Holy shit. This _is_ Matrix. So, wait. I’ll never see my mom, then?”

Michael looked away from him and waved a hand instead of answering, his surroundings turning into the living room of a house. Dean’s clothes changed and they no longer were leaning against a car. Michael stood at the side while Dean looked around from his position in his seat. “I remember this. This is--”

A woman appeared and Michael watched how Dean’s previous behavior softened, his soul lit with and softened as he leaned into his mother’s touch. She then left and Dean stared into the plate in front of him. “This is a memory; she’s not my mom, right?”

“Yes.”

Dean touched the sandwich with a finger, as if he were appreciating the texture of it. “You wanted to know my perspective about Heaven, right? Well, it sucks.” He looked up at him, determination making him tremble. “Feeding us memories and taking our choice away so we won’t be able to say anything back. This is a jail where you practically drug us so we’ll be the perfect, placid batteries you want. This ain’t Heaven!”

Michael tilted his head. “What you feel now is anger, and what you felt when you saw your mother was sadness and grief. Before, you wouldn’t have felt this.”

“I don’t care!” Dean stood up and started walking towards him, a finger pointed at his chest. “If you prefer to only feel what you want then bravo! But we humans are masochist like that, we’ve grown used to the pain. And I want it back.”

Michael thought about it. “What about the ones that do prefer this type of Heaven? The souls that don’t possess a family like you and only want to revive their favorite memories? Will you take that choice away from them?”

Dean moved even closer, until they were only inches apart and he was able to appreciate the freckles that dusted his cheeks. He had a nice color of eyes, Michael realized. A green that reminded of Eden. His jaw was tense. Michael noticed how hard he was restraining himself from yelling.

“But did you gave them the choice in the first place?” he whispered between clenched teeth.

“Do you really wish to renounce to this peace just so you can feel freedom?”

He let out a dry chuckle as he backed away. “You can take your peace and shove it up your lily-white ass, Feathers. I’ll take the grief and sadness over this so called ‘peace’ any time.”

Michael smiled. “Raphael wondered why I would go here to listen what a human had to say. I’m glad I didn’t obey what she said.”

That seemed to make Dean look at him at the eye again.

“So you’re gonna stop the Matrix thing you’ve on?”

“I don’t know what this Matrix is, but I’ll take your words into consideration. I find myself dealing with other problems that take priority, but I’ll see what I can do, Dean.”

“Other problems? If you’ve got some other bigger stuff going on, why come to my little ol’ piece of Heaven?”

Pursing his lips, Michael looked to the side. “This meeting was something I wanted to have for some time now. Although I can’t stop working, I still wished to take what you call... a ‘break’.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, as he fidgeted on his spot. “Something I can help you with?”

He was ready to shook his head, but stopped his action and took into account Dean’s words. He gave him some insight he hadn’t thought before. Perhaps it could help him with his current problem. He had already lived long time without relying on others. If Lucifer could give his trust to a human, maybe he could, too. It was a time to change.

He slowly nodded. “There has been an increase in human’s souls, lately. Unlike you, these ones don’t deserve to be here. They came from Hell. I took them in an attempt to give them a second opportunity. However, they’re tainted and unable to mend in Heaven without being burnt because of the nature of the place they were retrieved. They could serve as energy but the probability of tainting the other souls is high. It could work if they’re placed in the reincarnation cycle, but…”

Michael didn’t know how to explain to a human about the value of a soul’s energy and how they work in the bigger scale of existence without going into the smallest details about the knowledge of life and Creation, information every angel possessed since their creation.

Running a hand through his hair, Dean shrugged. “I dunno, man. They’re tainted, right? Why don’t just clean them?”

Michael blinked at the simplicity of Dean’s statement. He smiled, a soft laugh leaving his lips. “Perhaps you’re right,” he said. It was something that could prove impossible without something to purify them. But Michael was the oldest of the archangels. He might not be the brightest, like Lucifer, but he was the purest. If someone could, it would be him. “Thank you, Dean.”

“Sure thing. And not to take advantage or anything, but could I return to where I was before? I love mom and all, but I think I’ll prefer to be with Sam, for now.”

Michael nodded, his hand moving to make a small wave but he was stopped by Dean’s hand catching his wrist. He glanced at him curiously, realizing that Dean’s attention was not on him, but his mother. She seemed to have finished some kind of conversation and was leaning on the counter, looking away as she sniffed. Dean let his wrist go and looked briefly over his shoulder. “One moment,” he said, before going to hug his mother and giving her reassurances even when he knew she was nothing but a memory.

Michael waited for him to finish before he waved his hand.

 

* * *

 

 

When Sam woke up he didn’t notice anything strange at first. He was warm under the sheets; his body, relaxed. Lucifer was not there but he had said the day before that he had a lot work to do.  Normally, when that happens he cooked breakfast for him the next day so Sam was kind of excited for that. It was Tuesday, his shift started later than usual, after all. He could relax and stay in bed as long as he wanted.

He was thinking about how everything had returned to normal and how he wanted to enjoy this moment of pure happy laziness, even if it was cold outside. Not that it was a problem. Yesterday he put the A/C on its warmer temperature. Now he was kind of regretting doing that because without Lucifer to share the bed, he was sweating. His body feeling too warm for his liking.

He was shrugging the sheets off of his upper body and shifted on the bed, trying to go into his good side as to not let his scar face the bed, when he felt it. His eyes shot open and he sat up so fast it was a wonder he didn’t get dizzy. He halted every movement for a second before he threw the sheets away from his and looked at his sweatpants. His hand slowly going to the top of his pants to lift the cloth and peer inside.

He had an erection.

Sam didn’t know what to feel about it so, in the same way he lifted the cloth, he placed the pants in their normal position, moving his hands away.

_Well, crap._

He stared at the wall for a long moment before his eyes went back to his crotch. He palmed his half hard erection, more out of curiosity than anything else, with the precision a doctor had on a surgery. He hasn’t had one in years. Literally, _years_. He had wanted one from the moment he had kissed Lucifer (He doesn’t count their deal as their first kiss because Lucifer was the one that kissed him), but now that he had a real one, he realized how uncomfortable it felt. He didn’t know what to do with it.

Until he did.

Sam stood quickly, almost failing a step as he went to the bathroom and closed the door using the lock. He felt as if his walls were watching him, waiting to see the next thing he was going to do. He shouldn’t feel like that inside his apartment, but somehow, he did. Without turning on the light, Sam sat on the toilet to look better at his erection in the dark. The nervousness only grew with each passing second.

Morning wood; caused by the warm atmosphere inside his room, most likely.

Not that it mattered the cause. He wanted to do this. He _needed_ to. Or that was what he repeated himself as he looked at the curious form of his dick. Was his dick always like that when he was hard? He didn’t remember that curious arc and the weird color it now had.

He poked at the head just because it looked funny.

 _Time to work,_ he thought, letting out a breath as he touched the length, inspecting the weight and size. When he realized what he was doing, he stopped. Taking a deep breath that was meant to get him going into the real business, he nodded.

Now, how he masturbated before?

He stroked the length a few times; it didn’t feel good but it eased the pressure he was starting to feel somehow. Still. It felt too dry. Dry?

Sam looked up from his hand before checking his surroundings for some lube or lotion he could use, always careful to check if they had some weirds chemical in them. He settled for one Lisa gave him for his hands after she saw him washing the dishes without gloves, before pouring some onto his right hand. Then going back to his seat, he touched himself again. Now it felt better, but as he gave a few casual strokes, it began to feel too repetitive and not in the way he was sure it felt when he was a teenager just discovering himself.

Leaning back down, Sam closed his eyes, his hand moving lazily as he tried to think in a good fantasy to lose himself into but there was none that came into his mind. He didn’t remember this being so hard. Maybe he just needed to start with something small like Lucifer kissing him. Yeah, he liked kissing Lucifer, loved how he sometimes left pecks on his lips while his hand took a hold of the back of his head before leaving open mouthed kisses that were this tad possessive, making him feel as if he couldn’t get enough of him. Loved how his teeth grasped the surface of his skin, his hand moving under his shirt to grip his hip tight, pressing him close while his other hand moved up from his neck to his hair, long fingers twining between the long strands. The sounds he made when Sam was the one kissing him. How he closed his eyes tightly, a sharp exhale escaping him whenever Sam bit that spot under in his jaw. How sometimes his hips stuttered and he could feel him hard against him, fighting to keep the control while Sam only wanted to go down on his knees and nip his chest him until Lucifer’s grip on his hair tightened, just as to show him how pleasurable it would be as his mouth went lower. He wanted to know how he would sound with Sam’s respiration against the fine pubic hair near his navel, his hand squeezing him once before his tongue finally went down to lick—Yeah, no.

Leaving a sigh to escape pass his lips, Sam let his dick go. Still hard, now with some cream on it, but without knowing what to do with it. It hurt a little. The skin more sensible than before, but Sam was utterly bored. Didn’t have it on him to continue.

“I’m fucked.”

And he was thirsty, too. Well, his pants were in need of some laundry, anyways. Standing up and cleaning some of the hand lotion, he placed his sweatpants in place. Then, Sam left the room and went to his kitchen. He had some orange juice there.

Walking into his living room, he stopped when he noticed his new unnamed Hellhound, still asleep on the small bed Lucifer snapped for him. Next to the purple couch Lucifer always said he loathed but Sam knew he secretly loved.

“Have you gotten bigger?”

“She has,” Lucifer said from the middle of the living room where Sam was sure he hadn’t been before. “When I got her, she was bigger than my current vessel, I modified her body structure to look as a dog would.” A hand moved quickly around his waist and before he could think about it, Lucifer had already left a peck on the corner of his mouth. “However, she’s not a dog so her current body is adjusting to the changes…”

Sam swallowed when he saw Lucifer’s gaze slowly moving down. “Are you that happy to see me, today?”

“Eh…”

Lucifer arched an eyebrow and stayed silent as he waited for Sam to continue. But Sam couldn’t think in any explanation.

“Do you want me to help you fix your little problem? Well, perhaps not so little.”     Luckily for Sam, Lucifer noticed his embarrassment growing as changed his words into something that would not make Sam punch him. “I can make the blood leave your lower regions.”

“Please.”

He felt a finger briefly touching his pelvis before he was finally able to relax. He no longer felt that building pressure. His dicks stills felt sticky and sensible, though. And he still wanted to wash himself. But he could ignore it for now.

“Do I want to ask what happened? I haven’t heard your voice calling my name so I guess you haven’t used me for any fantasies,” Lucifer said as he moved away. And Sam had to fight the urge to ask Lucifer if he really would be able to hear him calling his name if he did masturbate using him in a fantasy.

“It’s just a morning wood. I did try jerk off but apparently my libido is almost non-existent.”

“Well, I would still call that a progress.”

“I guess.” Sam cleared his throat, wanting nothing more but to change the topic into something that wasn’t his previous hard on. He loved Lucifer and really wanted to have sex with him. His psyche wasn’t so ready though. “So… what’s for breakfast?”

“Yesterday you ate the take out you forgot to eat. And there are leftovers from what you cooked yesterday with your friend. You made me promise to not bring food if there was something in the fridge, remember? If it makes you feel better, I still disagree with the idea by the way.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “So leftover it is. Want some?”

Lucifer scrunched his nose almost childishly.

“I’m not going to eat.”

“Yeah, I’d have guessed. You’re a big prince who only eats the best of the best─”

“Plus your food. Besides, it’s not as if I need to eat.”

“The implied insult at my food aside, how work went?”

Lucifer snorted. “I like how you want to make it sound as if I just came from some normal human job and not from trying to organize which souls go for each demon to torture.”

“You’re lucky I’m not eating, right now,” Sam said as he put the food inside the microwave. “Besides, a guy can dream, right? Someday maybe you would do some office work for a change.”

“I’m hurt, Sam. Why try to make me more human? I’m just an archangel, standing in front of a guy, asking him to love him. With all and his ruling Hell and damning-souls side. It’s not much.”

Sam slowly turned towards Lucifer. “First, you’re not standing in front of me. Second, stop quoting romantic movies.”

“You love it.”

 _“Keep telling yourself that_ , _”_ was on the tip of his tongue but he was stopped by a soft growl. Looking down, he saw the black dog whom, unlike yesterday, now seemed to be able to reach his knees. She sat at Lucifer’s side, puffing her chest as if to intimidate others. It was a funny sight.

“Hello, nameless.”

“Don’t call her that.”

“Well, you haven’t chosen a name for her.”

Sam sighed as he took his food out. “I still can’t believe she’s a Hellhound. When Rufus told me about them, he mentioned, well, something not as cute.”

The dog growled as if she understood what Sam said. She probably had. Lucifer mentioned they were intelligent beings. And although it would follow only Lucifer’s orders (as he was the one whom she had chosen as master), it would still protect Sam as it was his scent the one she sniffed first. Luckily, Lucifer had told her to follow Sam’s orders as if they were his own. The Hellhound didn’t seem so happy about that. So in a rebellious act, she had chosen to ignore Sam whenever she could. Not deigning him as a suitable master. So unless Sam ordered her to be by his side, she wouldn’t do so. Part of him didn’t want to order her much as he had already categorized her as a sentient, rational being in his mind.

So yeah, Sam supposed they would make a strange pair. But Lucifer was sure she would make great partner as it was in her nature to protect him.

“I think they’ve their own twisted beauty. It’s not my fault humans can’t see it.”

“You called that monster in Aliens cute, so I really don’t wish to know how one Hellhound really looks for you to call it beauty. Though we’re together so I don’t know what that says about me.”

“That I’ve great taste, of course. Perhaps the only one in my family that does, considering they all wear the same black suits whenever they’re in vessels.”

Sam wisely didn’t mention that most of the time he only wore white. Though, he had to admit his curiosity perked at the mention of Lucifer’s family. He had mentioned that a couple weeks ago he talked with Raphael when he had wanted to talk with Michael.

“By the way, how are they? Have you talked with Michael since…?”

Lucifer sighed. “No. Raphael keeps interceding my calls.”

He frowned, lips turning into a thin line as the silence stretched. The sounds only coming from the fork against his plate.

“It does sound suspicious. Michael didn’t seem like the type to do that.”

“Indeed… Michael’s must be really weak if he had transferred all his prayers to Raphael. That or his attention was needed in something else.”

Sam’s eyes widened as he remembered Lucifer once telling him about the quantity of prayers Michael received, his and God’s. “Hang on. All of them?”

“Yes. Including her own if I had to guess. And Raphael is very well-known, too. Her prayers don’t compare to Michael’s but they’re still a large amount. It’s hard to convince Michael to delegate some of his ‘duty’, almost impossible. However, somehow Raphael managed to do so.”

Sam placed his fork next to his plate and gave all his attention to Lucifer. He didn’t know how to reassure him, this was way over his pay grade, but he had to try.

“Do you’ve any idea what it must be causing this?”

Lucifer shook his head. “The souls should have given Michael a great amount of power. They’re not pure and it’d be hard to work with them, but they’re still energy.”

Sam tilted his head ─a gesture he had picked from Lucifer. “Energy?”

“Yes, a human’s soul can be used as a form of power.”

“Do I want to know what do you use it for? Wait, you always say that you like being close to me because of my soul. Do I reek energy or something?”

“Don’t worry. Even if your soul does shed some energy, it’s nothing that will kill you. That small quantity merely helps the life’s cycle to turn into something more beneficial.”

“Like the conversion of mass’s law? The energy of a soul it isn’t destroyed, just transformed? This case, into more energy?”

Lucifer smiled. “Yes, you could say that. A soul is self-sustaining so Heaven uses it to create the Heaven of each soul and to keep the universe working. Dad did that before, but he’s gone so they had to get creative.”

“Huh. And what do _you_ use the energy for?”

“It’s… complicated. Before, when the souls twisted themselves into demons, they longed to feel the purity of a soul while at the same time loathed the presence of something purer than them. They wanted to turn the new souls that went to Hell into demons, or just make them suffer. Demons evolved, got smarter. Somehow along the way, they realized they could become stronger with the power of souls. Now, the one that has more of that energy is more powerful and rises in rank.”

Sam blinked and glanced down. Moments like those were the ones where reality smacked Sam in the face to tell him that, _yes, you’re dating that Lucifer._ He was the one that created the first demon. The one that started this whole ordeal just because he wasn’t God’s favorite anymore. Yeah, sure, Sam knew that there was more in that. Lucifer wasn’t that simple, but it was still basically that.

Sam looked up and met Lucifer’s patient eyes. When he saw he had his attention again, Lucifer continued, “Although because I, as an archangel, still have to follow some kind of balance, my demons can’t just take a human’s soul without its consent. From that, Hell separates into branches. Some demons wish to obtain purer souls than Hell so they make deals even if they’ve to wait the usual ten years. Others prefer to obtain its power by torturing the soul and, like a craftsman, they work until they reach its core. It’s harder, but if you’re good you can obtain it without damaging it… You could almost say it’s a lost art.”

“And I don’t think I want to eat anymore,” Sam said, pushing his plate away. He looked at the half eaten food in disgust… He really didn’t want to ask, but had to. “Do you enjoy torturing?”

Lucifer had never lied to him, but that moment Sam thought he looked almost as if he wanted to. He was almost surprised when he shrugged and with his head held high, he said, “It relaxes me.”

Sam’s hands covered his face as he let out a groan. He couldn’t say he didn’t understand in some weird twisted way, after all, the scars on his skin show how much inflicting pain can relax one person. _You never hurt anyone but yourself,_ a voice said inside his mind. And he knew he was lying because he hurt others, perhaps not directly, but he still did. It still disgusted him, though. That may be the difference. Sam understood it was wrong.

Taking a deep breath, Sam pulled his hands away, on the table as to use them for support as he leaned forward to kiss Lucifer. The angel was surprised at first, but not for long as Sam continued the kiss, turning it into something deeper. And there. As always, Sam could feel the raw power that still made his tongue tingle, the ozone which took his breath away and the lingering dark feeling of death, blood and destruction. He had recoiled the first time they kissed like this, but he’d got used to it, grew to love it even. It still made the fine hairs of his skin stand up, though.

He backed away, slowly, before nodding once.

“Not that I complain, but that was…?”

“Just checking.”

“Checking?”

Sam sighed as he returned to his seat and slumped on the table. “Yeah, it seems I really love you. Even with all and your ruling Hell and damning-souls side”

There was a silence. And then, “Aw, Sam. You just now the right words to make an archangel a blushing mess.”

Sam glanced up, just out of curiosity. Lucifer was not flushing, neither seemed flustered. But he did look incredibly pleased. His eyes seemed to be glowing and his skin had something otherworldly in a way that made him look more of what he thought an angel would look like.

Returning his head to the table with a thump, Sam tried to change the topic. “So Michael has all those extra souls that once belonged to Hell, right?”

“Yes, he chose the less rotten ones, that bastard.”

“Ignoring how you’re talking about human as if they were fruits, in your opinion Michael should have more power or something, right?”

“You could say that. He’s an angel, too. One that goes by the rules so he’s all for maintaining the balance. So, the souls would not be for him. Maybe he could use them as how you humans use fertilizer in order to help grow plants. The manure are the souls and the plant is the universe.”

“I think I’ll veto you from using analogies from now on in any topic that relates to humanity.”

Lucifer frowned, looking at Sam as he just gave him a time-out. “I was worse.”

“I bet.” Sam rolled his eyes. “Though there’s something I don’t understand. Hasn’t Michael told you that he wanted to change things and protect humans?”

“Yes…?”

“Well, if he wanted to change things then why would he use the power of the souls? I thought he wanted to put them in Heaven so they’d be there.”

“That sounds something only a human could think of. Besides, it’d be almost impossible to cleanse those souls until they were pure enough for Heaven to not damage…”

Lucifer blinked slowly, not looking at Sam as he thought.

“How impossible?” Sam asked when Lucifer stayed silent for a long seconds.

He almost jumped when Lucifer said, “Oh, Hell,” aloud. Sam had never heard him cursing before, so it really came as a surprise. He looked up at him. “That was why Raphael told me that the souls were being protected. Michael was protecting them.”

 

* * *

 

“So you’re okay now?”

“Yeah, I guess. We talked. He got me a dog. He returned to work but was back for breakfast. We got a nice breakfast moment until he got a sudden epiphany of his family and then flew to… call them.”

Lucifer actually stood up, grabbed some herbs and said he needed to retrieve some other materials to summon an archangel and something stronger than holy oil to keep them in place long enough for them to have an actual conversation. And then he flew.  But details.

Sam was worried, though; Lucifer even forgot to say goodbye.

“Wait, he got you a dog?”

Sam blinked down at Lisa. The bar was almost empty and they had enough free time to chat. “Uh, yeah. She’s black and even if she looks inoffensive enough, apparently can protect you very well.”

“That’s sweet. What’s her name?”

Resisting the urge to turn and glance at the empty space near the corner of the bar, which was the place where his new Hellhounds was (because apparently, Hellhounds can turn invisible), Sam answered with an “I don’t have one yet.”

Because what name could one give a Hellhound that wasn’t cliché?

“So, you’re almost living together, have a pet and have their own Hallmark moments? I’m afraid to tell you, Sam, but you’re married. You only need the kids and you’re done,” she said before going to the back of the bar to retrieve some bottles.

Luckily, she didn’t know that, apparently, in some strange, twisted way, all demons were Lucifer’s children. It was disturbing enough for Sam to ponder in the quietness of his room. Even worse if now those ‘children’ now thought he was their new ‘Lord’.

“If you’re ready to make the step, I’m in.”

Sam blinked before looking quickly over the glasses he was cleaning towards Lucifer’s familiar form. Sam was glad that Lisa wasn’t present at the moment. It would have been a weird discussion to have if she saw him appear from thin air.

He was also glad that the place is dark and there was no one sitting near them.

Sam was still going to kill Lucifer. He was already preparing his best bitchface and had some _words_ in the tip of his tongue but his expression stopped him.

“Are you brooding?”

“No, I’m not. I don’t brood. I’m simply disgruntled.”

He was brooding. There was even certain gloom around him he had only seen in cartoons. He didn’t know if Lucifer was doing it voluntarily or if Disney had finally screwed with his brain. Sam wanted to ask what happened but Lisa just came out from the back and was looking at them with some surprise. Lucifer wasn't wearing his white suit so he didn’t look out of place. Sam would clap for the small miracles if he could get away without looking suspicious.

Taking a deep breath, Lisa walked towards them with a smile. “Hi! I think we didn’t introduced properly before. I’m Lisa, Sam’s friend. You’re Sam’s famous boyfriend, huh?”

Lucifer’s gloom seemed to evaporate at hearing someone address him as Sam’s boyfriend. It was kind of endearing how his ‘Ugh humans’ frown that appeared at seeing her turned into a ‘Hey, you’re not so bad’ smile. Maybe it was strange he considered that endearing but Sam couldn’t help but also smile.

“Yes, Lisa. Sam mentioned you. I’m Lucifer.”

And the smile that formed just froze on his face.

“… Lucifer?”

Lisa glanced at Sam with a questioning eyebrow but Sam didn’t know how to answer. He shrugged and chuckled nervously. “His family is really religious.”

Apparently, Lucifer liked getting some fun at Sam’s expense. He recognized that smirk.

“Completely devoted. We’ve got the complete set of angels and an absent father to boot. Curiously enough, I’m not the only rebellious one in our family.”

“Huh. Well, you must have some really funny stories with that kind of name.”

“You could say that. I wouldn’t call them funny, but definitely worthy of being written.”

Yeah, without a doubt, Sam was sure Lucifer was getting a kick out of this.

He needed to stop him. And if Sam had to be his own scapegoat so be it.

“So! Why are you here so early? There’s still an hour left before we close.”

Lucifer frowned in a way Sam knew he would take revenge on him for taking his fun away, but still smiled genially at him. “Well, people like to drink their problems away. Never tried it myself, but you work in a bar so I figured why not.”

Lisa’s smile became strained. She seemed as if she wanted to comment, perhaps lecture Lucifer but stopped herself. Sam knew her problem, but he also knew Lucifer. Something must have gone terribly wrong if he wanted to follow the examples from ‘lowly humans’. Also, there was a small part of him that was curious and wanted to see him drunk. So Sam grabbed a bottle of their strongest liquor in the hopes it would affect the archangel.

“So I get that your talk with Michael didn’t go well?”

Lucifer gave a glance at the glass before drinking it in one go. Sam gave an apologetic glance at the Lisa when she let a small noise of surprise. She shook her head and left to attend others.

“It was wonderful. Although Michael wasn’t the one who came.”

Sam pushed another glass towards him. “Raphael?”

He nodded. “I had to trap her so she could give me some answers. And Dad, did she try to escape.”

“But it was what we thought?”

He huffed. “Yes. Michael’s going to go supernova if he keeps like that. I know this. Raphael knows this. I thought she would try to hide it better, but it was most likely Michael the one who made her swear to not tell me anything because she kept leaving subtle hints all the time. As soon as she realized I knew what was happening, she tried to rope me into some plan to help him. Apparently, if Michael’s does it alone, it’ll leave him weak for some years, maybe decades. If I help him instead, it’ll take less time to complete it and the risks would decrease.”

“Why doesn’t she do it herself then?”

Humming, Lucifer looked up from his glass to send him a dry smile. “There needs to be an archangel leading Heaven. Though my guess is that she doesn’t care too much about it. It’s more that she can’t help Michael. I’m more attuned to Michael, so I can. Our power is similar. It complements each other.”

If Sam didn’t know better, he’d have felt a little bit of jealously at their apparent 'fated' closeness. But even if the angels weren’t real ‘siblings’, the four archangels still considered themselves in that regard so Sam had learned how to ignore how Lucifer and Michael were practically made to complement each other.

“What are you going to do then?”

“Well, I’m not going to return there, of that I’m sure. They were the ones that threw me out.”

Giving a quick glance at Lisa, who was now attending some guy sitting a couple of seats away from Lucifer, he whispered, “Wait. So she wants you to go back to Heaven?”

“Yes, can you believe it? _Me_? Help the one that held his sword against my throat until Father cast me out?”

Sam tapped his fingers against the bar as he leaned on it, using both elbows to support his weight. “You’re still worried about him though. And don’t roll your eyes. I know you, Lucifer. Maybe I can’t understand because I haven’t lived as long as you, nor have lived the same as you, but it was the fact that it was Michael, the one you considered your closest brother, that probably hurt you more. I know I’d feel betrayed if Dean had done that. But even if he did so, I can’t see myself hating him.”

Lucifer narrowed his eyes at him.

“You want me to go and help Michael?”

“I only know it’s likely that you’ll regret it if you don’t help him.”

“No, I won’t. And I _won’t_ return there. And if I once do, it’ll be to destroy everything there.”

That sounded awfully like a temper tantrum. Considering his rebellion also started like one, just in heavenly proportions, well, he could picture Lucifer doing it. That perhaps was the worst thing, knowing Lucifer was capable of doing it. But there was something inside him telling him that Lucifer wouldn’t do it. And he had faith in that small part of him. He had faith in Lucifer.

“You won’t destroy Heaven.”

Lucifer snorted and Sam didn’t know how he could make such action look regal

“Why not? It's expected of me, Sam. The devil isn't supposed to be meek and subtle. Rage and resentment all the time, that's in the job description.” Lucifer hissed, his grip on the glass so tight it made it crack. “Do you know how many of my brethren have brushed me as a fool after I started saying that my Father was wrong? How many thought I had gone crazy? Gossips and whispers ruled Heaven, spread as easily as air. I had no more choice but remain firm in proving my point while trying to prove wrong to those that gave me their backs when once they did nothing but praise my beauty and look at me in awe. The Father of Lies, the Adversary, Murderer, Thief; those are some of my titles.”

The temperature dropped and Lucifer’s eyes glowed a scarlet red. Sam noticed how quiet everything went, how people moved slowly, as if time was afraid to disturb Lucifer.

“ _Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour_ ,” he said, not out loud, but in his mind. The deep, cold voice echoing inside of him with the same finality of a beast ready to strike his prey. “ _If anyone worships the beast and his image, and receives his mark on his forehead or on his hand, he himself shall also drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out full strength into the cup of His indignation. He shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb.”_

He tilted his head, darkness seeming to engulf him as his eyes roamed on his face, lit with an eerily light as he searched something in him. Sam didn’t know what.

“Finished? Because by this point I don’t think you could do something to scare me. Even if I sometimes wish not to, it seems that you’ll always be just Lucifer to me. The one whom I accidentally made a deal to sell my soul and somehow ended as my boyfriend. You know? That cleaning-freak archangel who likes to read a comic with his own name, quotes cheesy phrases from romantic movies, watches animated movies and likes white suits a little too much. He’s not a morning person, or even a person, but still likes to cuddle and turns into goo whenever I massage him. He’s an awful cook that can only do breakfasts and likes spicy food because he likes how the flavor tingles his tongue.

“His temper tantrums are legendary, he might have some serious daddy issues, and I could do without him being so possessive and overprotective, but I really like how he still takes his time to cut coupons and walk with me even if he can fly and do so much more with just a snap of his fingers.”

And just like that whatever illusion he placed on himself disappeared, his face returned to normal, his eyes once again were icy blue and that feeling of death looming went away.

Sam let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, the pressure being lifted leaving him lightheaded.

“Lucifer, You once told me that you were going to love me for both of us, and I accepted because I admit I don’t love me, I’m not even sure I like me but I’m sure as hell that I do love you. So let me be there for you too. I might be a weak human but I can still take some weight. Let me remind you that you’re not only the Devil. You’re so much more, Lucifer.” Gripping his arm tight, Sam pulled him closer, “If you don’t go and help your Michael, believe me, you’ll regret it.”

Lucifer sighed, his shoulders dropping slightly, not enough for someone who didn’t know him to notice. He tried to lean closer, erase the inches separating them but Sam placed his hand on his mouth and stopped his attempts with a gentle shove.

“I’m working.”

“And I want to kiss you. I really, _really_ want to.”

Sam took a quick glance at his surroundings; time seemed to continue as always at the same pace, the guy near them was looking at his phone, Lisa was looking at the A/C next to the door at the back to check the sudden drop in temperature, everyone else seemed distracted. He leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss on Lucifer’s mouth before retreating.

“That didn’t satisfy me.”

“Tough.” He rolled his eyes and grabbed the small glass Lucifer almost destroyed. There were many cracks and Sam sincerely hoped Ellen wouldn’t notice. “Being honest, I met Michael only once, he seemed too intense ans serious for my liking but I did notice he was worried about about. He did care about you. Heck, he did the whole ‘If you hurt my little brother, I’ll kill you’ ordeal and just for that, he’s passed Dean’s big brother test.”

“I still owe him one for touching your soul without my permission. His scent was hard to take away from your soul.” He huffed. “Even so, it doesn’t matter if I help, to do this type of process with as many souls as he took we would need the others. Raphael can help giving some of her energy but without something to stabilize her then it would end being more trouble than help. We’d need some of Gabriel’s help here.”

“Gabriel?”

“Our youngest brother. I told you about him. We know he’s alive and on Earth, but not where.”

Lucifer noticed Sam placing the almost empty bottle away. He raised an eyebrow.

“You broke the glass, no more drinks for you.” When Lucifer continued to stare blankly at him, Sam rolled his eyes. “Okay, I’ll make you a cocktail.”

Lisa then appeared with a couple glasses. “I hope those aren’t on the house because Ellen would eat you alive otherwise.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll pay everything Sam has served me.”

“You better. You were the one that wanted to drink his problems away, not me.” He waved at Lisa, before placing a glass with blue liquid in it. “This is the Blue Devil cocktail.”

Lucifer glanced at his now blue exotic glass with a small red dot at the bottom. “You’re not funny, Sam.”

“I know. I’m hilarious.” Sam smirked, watching as Lucifer drank with a pleased faced unlike those sour ones he got when drinking the stronger stuff Ellen had. “So… let’s say you could find Gabriel, what would you need from him? One of his feathers maybe?”

Lucifer narrowed his eyes. “Angel’s feathers are energy, they’re almost impossible to keep them materialized. Usually, when an angels grooms his wings, the feather that falls becomes energy and loses its form, becoming one with the universe.”

“So, if the feather was still materialized, it could work, right?”

“Perhaps… Where are you going with this?” Lucifer pushed his empty glass at him. “I want another.”

Sam ignored his request and chose to cross his arms on the surface of the large table. “Okay, so get this. Remember the day we fought and I went for walk? Well, I may or may not have met your brother. And he might or might not have gave me a feather as a present.”

Lucifer stayed silent for a couple seconds. Enough for Lisa to take the empty glass and for Sam to tell ask her if she could make another one.

“Are you sure it was Gabriel?”

“This high, chestnut colored hair, golden eyes, seems to like sweets and has your devious smirk, thing I thought no one was able to pull it off but you.”

“Yes… it sounds like his previous choices in appearance. And he does have a sweet tooth.” Lisa placed his glass in front of him and he nodded distractedly in thanks. “That tricky little bastard.”

“Well, does this mean you’ll help Michael?”

Lucifer hummed. “Where did you met him and where is that present he gave you?”

“A small coffee shop that’s parallel to that park near my phone company? And the present is inside the third drawer where I put my clothes.”

Lucifer took some money out from a wallet Sam was sure he just snapped it in existence, and pulled out a couple of bills.

“I’ll try to come back before you close, but if I don’t made it, I’ll see you tonight.”

He then nodded at Lisa and gave a small peck at Sam’s mouth without caring who might see, before he leaned completely back, he whispered, “And I don’t have daddy issues.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” he said when Lucifer turned back.

Lucifer looked over his shoulders and pulled his tongue out, everything in the right angle for only Sam to see the now forked tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... guess who's back :D! Yep, me. I'm an awful human being, I know. I don't deserve all the kudos and comments I still get out of my works. You're awesome!  
> I'll get back to write the next chapters of my other works, though I really have to do some re-writing. I hoe this chapter has some quality. It has been some time since I've written something, so please comment!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you trying to make me the ruler of Hell?”  
> Lucifer chuckled, the bastard. “Look at it my way. I’ll be gone. It’ll be the perfect opportunity for other powerful beings to get their claws on you. This way, others will have to protect you in case you need help because you’ll be the de facto leader. A temporary ruler.”  
> “I don’t think that’s the point. I can’t do it.”  
> “Sure you can. You’ve studied law, right?”  
> Sam blinked slowly, trying to comprehend what was happening without shouting. He just went for harshly whispering. “Pre-Law. _For two years!”_
> 
> Harshly high pitched whispering.

Three times he checked. Three times he obtained the same answer. The place wasn’t the wrong one—the traces of grace were there and he trusted in Sam’s observation. Perhaps he simply didn’t want to accept the conclusions his mind drew for him. The hints where there and while he could easily ignore it, he didn’t… he didn’t lie. Twist the truth, yes; everything to obtain what he wanted. Outright lie? No, never. Especially, never to himself. Even if he wanted to.

However, he couldn’t deny it any longer. There was something _pagan_ in the air.

That filthy energy those beings used to appear similar to God. It was there. The air didn’t reek of it. It wasn’t even noticeable. Very faint, yes, but still _there_. In the same place Sam said he met his brother. Laced with the younger archangel’s scent.

So _disgusting_.

Angels didn’t work with pagans. Not only because they considered it was the worst kind of energy it could exist. A power that didn’t work to contribute the universe; one that simply disappeared when destroyed—born from the fear of humans to understand what they would never be able to. Wanting to believe on something except in its Creator.

Lucifer hated it. Not only how they came to be, but also how his Father didn’t do anything to stop it. _Them_. Merely choosing to see how it unfolded with wondering eyes. Taking a moment to finally look at his older children as if noticing they were there just to whisper _‘Look what they did. Isn’t it amazing?’_

Lucifer snorted.

Filth born from filth.

He felt disgusted to sense both energies merged this throughout. Lucifer thought grace couldn’t work with _that_ energy without obliterating it.

But Gabriel always was a crafty one, wasn’t he? He taught him that. It shouldn’t surprise him. It was a good idea to hide were others wouldn’t think you would be. Because… Who would think of an angel posing as a pagan?

It was a brilliant witness protection only someone with the power of an archangel could work through.

Still.

“How low have you fallen, little brother?”

A sound came from behind him. Then, “You called me, my Lord?”

Lucifer briefly glanced at the place Meg appeared, noticing her walking to stand next to him, and saw her look at their surroundings and noticing the scent.

“You told me Crowley worked with a pagan.”

“My Lord thinks the one that was here was that pagan?”

“Most likely. Can’t you feel it, under all this filth?”

She closed her eyes, a pretty frown forming between her brows. “Is that… grace?”

Lucifer stroked her hair, appraising her. “Yes. It seems my brother has been passing himself as a pagan.”

“Talk about slumming it.” She snorted. “So what’s the plan, boss?”

Giving a brief glance at his subordinate, Lucifer wondered how it would turn out. Meg was one of her most loyal. She was still young and full of that devilish wonder. If she didn’t react well at his possibly ‘return to home’ then he could guess what would be the opinion on the other factions.

“Nothing. My brother contacted Sam to give me… something important in this deal with Heaven and he has a hidden agenda, of that I’ve no doubt, but it doesn’t seem to be one of pursuing war. Or at least not between Heaven and Hell. There could be the possibility of a civil war in Hell, though.”

Meg’s lips thinned at the same time a hand went to scratch her neck. “The situation is not that bad. No one questions your power.”

“But they do my leadership.”

There was a change. Meg stood straight with both arm at her side in firm posture. Her eyes scrunched, obviously unhappy someone thought less of him.

Cute.

“Things are just changing too quickly for some. They are used to follow a routine. It’s the change that bothers them. After all, there are pretty old farts down there,” she scoffed. “Anyways, the most powerful of them will follow you through everything. I included. The weaklings just like to gossip a bit too much.”

He hummed, thinking if her words and what he knew. “Even if I decide to go to Heaven for a short time?”

That seemed to stop her. Hurt and betrayal flashed briefly through her features. “May I ask why… my Lord?”

He couldn’t say Sam seemed to have faith on him and that he would do the right thing while giving him the so-called ‘puppy dog eyes’, could he? Or that he might be perhaps somehow worried about his older brother.

“Heaven never does something that could earn them a favor from others. Even so, they asked for my help.”

Not directly, of course, but the favor was there, in Raphael’s eyes. And what he said about Heaven was true, too.

Now he had to wait for Meg to do her own conclusions. The ones that would benefit her faith on him.

If the wicked glee in her eyes was something to by, she already did.

“Heaven owning Hell a favor?”

Lucifer saw her laugh, loud and a tad sadistic. He remembered looking over her shoulder and teaching her how to break a soul; she laughed in the same way. Kids are adorable when young. Then they grew up and their awe at him was not the same. Now whenever he checked on Alastair to see his work, he only tried to show off. No more beaming as he once did when he was centuries old.

He sighed. “Yes, but it’ll take some time to complete this… favor. But I can’t leave like that, can I? You said it yourself, the weak is talking between each other. I know how quick gossip can spread. They will confabulate and Hell is too separated at the moment. I can make time work faster. One month on Earth could be less than a year on Hell. However, that’s still too long for animosity to breed.”

“Yeah, and it would be worse if the ones against you found out you were in Heaven.”

“They will find out something’s strange, eventually. I’ll probably look like a beacon of energy when I return from there.”

Lucifer had a couple ideas but mostly led to something he didn’t want to contemplate but seemed like the only answer. He waited in the silence that ensued to see what ideas Meg would come out, half hoping they would be different from his own and the other half testing her intelligence while inspecting the area although he guessed no other traces of supernatural beings would be found.

Finally, when they finished, Meg spoke “But by then you will be here and you’ll be more powerful,” she mumbled almost absently. Meg turned towards him. “They don’t need to find out that you’re gone, right? You could always say you’re on a trip into the depth of the universe to gain more energy from the satellites and such.”

She patted her cheek, gently to show her how he approved of her ideas. “That would explain the sudden boost in power, yes. And I will be in Heaven which is located in the depth of the universe.”

“You still need someone in charge, though,” she said, in a way that suggested she would do whatever he wanted and was already thinking in a few candidates herself. She knew she would never be able to lead Hell. She was one of the younger ones he created before being sealed into the Cage. The most powerful and ruthless of that generation, but still known as his loyal lapdog.

“Yes, I do. However, the only ones I could trust with this are too young,” he nodded at her, “or they love their job so much. And even if they did, they lack the political power.”

A sigh escaped his lips as he looked at the empty space where the energy was. There wasn’t any coffee shop in sight. However the power still managed to relax him, even as muddled as it was. It was Gabriel’s energy the one mixed in there, after all. The one only second to Michael who he spent more time with. He taught him how to fly and all his tricks. Always eating some sweet Lucifer managed to grab from the fruits in Heaven the younglings weren’t able to reach.

How long his brother had known they would need his energy? Since when did his plans started? His deal with Michael wasn’t exactly a secret but it wasn’t well know either. Did he know Michael would choose to purify the souls and he would need their help?

And why would he give the feather to Sam?

It was a good idea, he had to admit it. He wouldn’t have accepted if Sam wasn’t involved. The worrisome part was that Gabriel knew that.

“I’m glad I chose to give that Hellhound to Sam,” he thought aloud. If Gabriel had seen how Sam affected him and used him to manipulate him, then how couldn’t others?

“You said your brother contacted Sam, right?” she smiled “He must consider him someone important to use him as an intermediary between you two.”

Lucifer felt dread forming in his core; she realized. “He is important.”

That sentence only made her smile grow wider. “Did you know how they call him besides ‘Boy King’?”

* * *

Sam yawned. He was tired though still had enough energy to do homemade food. Carbonara was an easy plate, though, so not much energy wasted there, thankfully. He didn’t think he would be able to remain standing if it was complicated. He probably shouldn’t have stayed late in the bar, cleaning and organizing, in the hopes of Lucifer coming so they could walk to the apartment together. Sam already knew how Lucifer thought of time so he’d have guessed what was going to happen.

Luckily for him, Ash was one of the last customers and offered to help him clean. He was not so drunk just a tipsy, so Sam accepted. They talked and Sam finally found out why Lisa always said Ash was a genius; the man was quick in give opinion of whatever topic they stumbled and came with conclusions faster than his inebriated state suggested. Though that didn’t change the fact that he ended falling asleep on one of the pool tables, snoring.

Sam thought of let him stay. Ash even had a blanket just for him in these kind of cases because apparently Ellen knew him from a couple years back as the man often stayed most months of the year in town and in that time she seemed to have taken a shine to him as she often left him sleep there, or so Lisa said. He didn’t took too many night shifts so he hadn’t noticed. But, well, that explained the clothes that obviously were Ash’s he had found in the back.

Even so, Sam couldn’t leave him just there, alone. Blanket or not, it was cold at night.

The bad news came when he realized that while Ash was sober enough to help him clean, he wasn’t to remember his hotel room.

And so, Sam took Ash to his apartment. At least, he didn’t make the trip home alone. Though it was really late by the time he returned.

He really should get Lucifer a phone. Or at least make him snap one. That way communication would be easier between both of them.

_Speaking of the Devil…_

There was a sound of ruffled wings just as he put the noodles in the boiling water. He didn’t turn away from his task even as he heard Lucifer’s steps and felt his body pressing against his back. Sam merely finished his task calmly, waiting to see if Lucifer would be the one to talk first. The angel sighed and leaned some of his weight onto him and Sam had to shift his feet to obtain a good position that wouldn’t end with him on the floor. The position didn’t seem to satisfy Lucifer whose hands trailed towards his hips and gently turned him around to face him. Sam chuckled but let Lucifer move him around to put his head on the crook of his neck while he leaned against one of the cupboards and enjoyed Lucifer’s cool body against his own, the arms around his waist and the soft hair touching his neck.

He really liked this. The quiet comfort provided by body heat and even the tiredness of Lucifer’s body that felt so human. He liked how Lucifer could trust him with those small aspects that didn’t paint him as that all-powerful being from legends. It was nice and home-y. The smell of boiling noodles and the domesticity his apartment provided, with fingers stroking down his spine and gentle touches that spoke of something affectionate. It was something normal couples did but at the same time something more because it was then doing it. Just Lucifer and him, relaxing after a tiring day. Sam really loved it, but… He was hungry.

“The noodles will be done in a while,” he whispered.

There was a small hum of acknowledgement and then, “I can take care of it. Let’s go to bed.”

“You’re not going to eat for me, are you?”

Lucifer nuzzled more into him. “It’s easy to fill one’s stomach. Transport nutrients from point A to B. Easy.”

“I want to eat, Lucifer.”

With a sigh, Lucifer stood straight. He twirled a lock of hair that was out of place between his fingers before leaning forwards again; this time though, it was a kiss greeting him. Slow but throughout, making him take a shaky breath every time he felt the hint of teeth.

Sam’s hand went to cradle Lucifer’s head, pressing him closer until it was slightly uncomfortable with their noses bumping whenever their heads tilted and Lucifer forgetting his strength, his fingers digging a bit too deep into his skin.

“Fuck—“ Sam hissed, backing away as his hand went to rub his elbow, a drop of hot water on his skin. He glanced at the noodles and saw the lid fidgeting, bubbles forming and drops of boiling water splattering everywhere near.

Sam groaned and moved to take the lid, but Lucifer won him on the action, managing to put the lid aside before his hand went inside the pot to take a single noodle to try the texture, as if the boiling water was nothing more than water. Sam saw his wet hand and that’s when he realized he was going to grab that lid barehanded. He would have burnt if Lucifer hadn’t do it.

“Thanks,” he mumbled

Lucifer nodded and pushed him into a chair as he finished cooking for him. He wanted to thank him again but instead chose to change the topic into something Lucifer must want to talk about.

“So, did you met your brother?”

A tired sigh answered him though there was a hint of something else in his tensed back.

“No. There wasn’t any store where you mentioned. My guess is he only used the place to talk with you. Though that does make one wonder, since when did he kept tabs on you?”

He ignored the dread forming in his subconscious, whispering about how dangerous was to have powerful beings aware of his presence. How dangerous it was that the fact didn’t surprise him. He shrugged off that part, burying it deep inside until he could ignore it.

“Yeah well, it doesn’t surprise me, your kind seems to not be able to understand personal space and privacy,” he said, remembering Michael touching his soul and Raphael standing always too close. “Do you want me to rely him a message if I see him? Probably he still keeps tabs on me and wants another chat.”

Lucifer frowned as he stirred the noodles and the meat in the frying pan. “I’d prefer if you didn’t get so entangled with these kind of things, but seeing how things are going… it seems that wouldn’t be unavoidable.”

“What do you mean?”

Humming, Lucifer grabbed the bowl with egg and cheese and condiments, pouring it into the pan. He glanced at the closed window that led to the living room before looking him at the eyes. “Remember when you told me about your encounter with one of my minions and how they kept calling you ‘my Lord’ and such?”

“Yeah…?”

“Well, it seems that if I make a trip to my brother’s home, I need to leave downstairs with someone to make sure everyone stays put and no one raises an apocalypse or something. There are candidates, but no one downstairs with enough political power that I trust. Or patience.”

The dread was there again, this time stronger and accompanied with panic. He could see where this was going.

“Oh hell no!”

Lucifer shushed him, telling him to lower his tone with a hand gesture. He moved forward and whispered, “I don’t think is wise to wake up our little visitor. Why do we’ve a visitor, by the way?”

“Eh, Ash fell asleep while he was help—wait, no. That’s not important!” he hissed, making sure to keep his voice at an even tone. “Are you trying to make me the ruler of Hell?”

Lucifer chuckled, the bastard. “Look at it my way. I’ll be gone. It’ll be the perfect opportunity for other powerful beings to get their claws on you. This way, others will have to protect you in case you need help because you’ll be the de facto leader. A temporary ruler.”

“I don’t think that’s the point. I can’t do it.”

“Sure you can. You’ve studied law, right?”

Sam blinked slowly, trying to comprehend what was happening without shouting. He just went for harshly whispering. “Pre-Law. _For two years!”_

Harshly high pitched whispering.

“I didn’t even had that when I started my reign.”

The fact that Lucifer was able to remain calm and talk with reasonable tone while pushing the metaphorical throne of Hell to him was astounding. And infuriating. Really infuriating.

He scoffed. “You were _created_ with the knowledge to govern countless of angels. You’re basically royalty. You know that stuff!”

“And let me teach you something I had to learn the hard way so it’ll be easier to you.”

“Wait, what—when did I accept?”

“The key to not go into a killing spree caused by incompetent subordinates is simple: delegate.”

“I think I’m going to kill you.”

“I love you, too. Besides, this was your idea, remember? You were the one who wanted me to go to Heaven to help big bro, not me.”

“Are you whining? You’re billions years old, you’re not allowed to whine.”

“What can I say, that’s what happens when you take the position of being the ‘angel’ on the Devil’s shoulders.”

“So this is you getting back at me for being your conscience? Seriously?”

“Don’t worry, they’ll obey you. Everyone down there knows you as my consort. They know I’m serious about you. Your demands are like mine to them.”

His throat went slightly dry. He had to lick his lips. He didn’t know if the sudden nervousness was because knowing Lucifer accepted their relationship as a serious one or because he thought he wouldn’t be able to deny Lucifer. He wanted to glance down, but how could he? Lucifer’s expression was filled with confidence. It was easy for him to see that even if Lucifer didn’t felt as comfortable as he wanted to appear with what he was proposing, he still trusted him with this. With his throne.  

It made it easier to brush some of the panic that was rearing its head in the confines of his mind, whispering horrible, terrible things. Constantly reminding him of his failures and flaws.

He took a deep breath.

“I’m not comfortable with this roundabout. Tell me the truth, not games.”

Some of Lucifer’s façade seemed to crack. His cool was replaced for a hint of worry, making his brows furrow and his lips thin. He looked old and tired. Afraid, too.

Sam wanted to stop that. To accept and take that expression away. He felt guilty, an emotion so close to him whose presence he was already used to, but… he needed to know. Sam gulped down his nervousness, clenching his jaw as he waited.

“It’s true what I say about others wanting to go after you,” he whispered, eyes half lidded as his forehead touched his own, hands moving upwards to let the fingers stroke his jaw, attempting to take the tension away with soft touches. “You’ve also gained political power thanks to the announcement I made formalizing our relationship. The demons that survived Azazel’s attack towards you, told others. The information spread. They know what I’m able to do for you.”

Sam tensed slightly at the mention of the demon that managed to kidnap him to make Lucifer vulnerable and easy to kill, but he exhaled and the tension was gone.

“That doesn’t matter. I’m still a human, Lucifer.”

“And yet, you’re the one I trust the most.”

Sam backed away with a groan. “I can’t believe you used the trust card.”

Lucifer’s lips twitched and some of the tension eased as he tilted his head.

“Look, if everything keeps confabulating for me to go to Heaven and help big bro, then I’ll have to do it right, don’t you think so?”

“By everything you mean me.”

Lucifer winked playfully at him. “You're my everything.”

“That’s so cheesy it’s not going to work.”

“You say that now, but—Okay, I’ll stop. No need to give me that look. The point here, Sam, is Hell. It’ll take time to do this, less with Raphael and Gabriel’s help, but I can’t just leave like that. Hell is too separated at the moment. The only ones I trust are too young, or they love their job so much, they won’t accept taking charge even if it is for a small amount of time. Even if I make the time work faster. One month on Earth would at most be a year on Hell. And that’s too long for demons to not try anything without me there. It would be worse if the ones against me found out I was in Heaven. And they will find out. I’ll probably too shinny when I return from there for the older ones that remember me back when I just rebelled to not realize.”

“Shinny?”

“Yes, the purity of Heaven will… I don’t want to use the word ‘cleanse’ as it would imply I’m dirty. Which I’m not.” He scoffed. “However there’s no better word to describe what being in that place will do to me.”

Sam’s fingers clenched on the front of his vest. “… It won’t hurt you, right?”

“No. No, Sam. It’ll probably feel uncomfortable after I return and I’ll have to get used to Hell’s taint again.”

Sam ran his free palm on the table next to him, trying to clear his mind. He should be able to said yes and be done with it, so why he couldn’t? Why did the words stayed stuck in his throat? Lucifer had done so much for him. So much. Why he couldn't…

Tears were forming in the corner of his eyes and Sam blinked twice before looking down. God, he was so pathetic, wasn't he?

A hand cupped his cheek, trailing down until it reached the back of his head but didn't try to make him look up. Then a body pressed against his own and Lucifer’s nose brushed his cheek.

“I don’t want to put this kind of pressure on you, Sam, but I… I don’t think there will be someone I trust as much I trust you this suitable to the post. I’m sorry but there isn’t…”

Sam glanced up, saw the indecision on Lucifer’s face as he tried to say something. Sam didn’t know what it was but he did know that was soon as he heard whatever words they were Sam wouldn’t be able to deny him anything. And Lucifer knew it, too. Sam wanted to stop him, put a hand on his mouth and stop it, but he was also curious to know if Lucifer would say it.

“Lucifer?” he whispered with a holding breath.

Two fingers brushed his cheek barely touching skin. “Sam,” he said, looking like Atlas carrying the world on his back. “ _Please_ , I need your help.”

Crap. Lucifer was manipulating him. Sam had so many buttons to take advantage, it kind of surprised him he’d never done it before. Perhaps it wasn’t one of the hurtful ones like his father sometimes used, but it was no less effective.  

Sam wanted to make a devil joke or point out what Lucifer was clearly doing but he couldn’t; Lucifer looked so guilty, he knew the only way to ease the expression somehow would be to deny him, but… A humorless chuckle left him. He was really easy.

“I’ll need to know the rules of Hell and who is in charge of the sections, won’t I?”

Lucifer didn’t smile at him. For the first he’d known him, he licked his lips. “Yes.”

“Will you stay long enough to teach me how it works or someone else will show me the ropes?”

“I promised you to be with you on Thanksgiving and go to Bobby’s, remember? I’ll go to Heaven after that.”

“Right.” He looked at the food on the pan; somehow his appetite was lost. “I’ll eat first and then you’ll join me to bed, okay?”

Lucifer was still quiet but this time he did smile. “Of course.”

His hand stayed one moment longer on his chest before Sam leaned to leave a peck on his lips. “Bright up. You made enough for two so you should eat with me, too.”

Turning around to grab two plates, Sam felt a brush of something soft and silky against his back. It was intangible and ethereal so Sam didn’t look back, he preferred to just keep feeling the sensation of something akin to feathers on his skin.

“I’m sorry,” Lucifer murmured.

Sam took a breath. “Don’t be. Let’s just eat before going to bed. Tomorrow we hit the books and find you a phone. You need one.”

Sam served the food, knowing that maybe he should apologize, too. He was the one making Lucifer fell back to these tactics just because Sam didn’t have the confidence to help someone he loved without needing them.

* * *

“Please tell me there really aren’t torturer trainers.”

Lucifer looked up from the phone they'd decided to get. “Of course, why shouldn’t we? We can just let anyone torture. There are always new souls and demons. Torturers would overwork themselves if there were just few.”

“But one really needs to do the paperwork to take a test so they can be qualified as good enough to teach?"

“Well, it’s Hell. You can’t get sloppy and let just anyone torture. We would lose face, you know?”

“… Right.”

* * *

“Paperwork to get a Hellhound, really?”

“Most die trying to get a hellhound, it’s fair to be able to know how many demons are inside Hell without constantly doing a constant census.”

Sam read again the paper who smelled faintly of Sulphur. “That explains the clause of informing a week after capturing a Hellhound or be marked as dead, but why the paperwork to adopt the Hellhound?”

“To know how many demons have them, of course.” 

* * *

“…and inform via blood in case of any impediments taking place. Once the third month comes due, any alteration in the contract is void minus—Wait. Via blood?”

“Um? Oh. Is a ritual to communicate to Hell. You need to fill a cup with fresh human blood and—“

“Okay I got it.”

* * *

“Do demons really have to learn accounting, politics and basic law?”

Lucifer didn’t even bother to look up from the phone; Sam was starting to regret that particular decision. “If they want to go to the branch for Crossroad, yes. You finally got to the classes they give down there?”

“I think I did,” Sam said looking down at the list of ‘classes’ that were taught in Hell. “You know, once a teacher told me ‘you never stop learning’. Never thought it was this literal though.”

“Well, it’s that or be tortured until losing your mind.”

“But—Thirty years of Basic Law before they can move forwards?”

“It’s Hell. By the way, I suggest not to look into the lessons taught in pre-torture.”

“One hundred and fifty years before being able to ask for apprenticeship, right?”

“Yes. And remind me to talk to Alastair before I go upstairs. He’s lately nagging me into take Vargas away from teaching. He says the demons asking for that apprenticeship that come from her are awful.  So primitive with their methods, no finesse on them. Something tells me he’ll nag you if I don’t do that myself and I don’t think you’ll want to deal with Hell’s top torturer.”

“Please do that. Immediately.”

* * *

Lucifer appeared in the room just in time to see Sam closing a heavy book with a confused face. “I think I finished this book.”

“You think?”

“I guess. It kind of told me to read another one though.”

“Then you haven’t finished, dear.”

Sam huffed. “Why all these books keep doing that anyways.”

“They’re books from Hell, do you really expected them to not torture you even if a little?”

“They’re already confusing. That should be enough.”

“Again; it’s Hell.”

And Sam really didn’t have an argument to use against that. “How many more are there to read?”

“I don’t think you really want to know. But now you know how much it sucks to be the Devil’s conscience.”

“Shut up. If we were in a sexual relationship, you were _so_ no getting it for weeks.”

“Then I’m really lucky, aren’t I?”

“I hate you.”

* * *

“Sit. Roll down. Dead. Talk. Um… stay?” Lisa said, clearly unsure of what else to say.

Sam glanced down at the Hellhound looking completely unimpressed at Lisa’s attempts. She took a small red ball from her purse and moved it around to excite the ‘dog’. It didn’t work. The Hellhound threw him a glance that clearly said ‘Is this human serious?’ before looking back at Lisa with a pitying look.

“Doesn’t she know how to fetch?” Lisa asked after she threw the ball and she continued to receive no answer from the ‘dog’.

“I think so. Uh, could you pass me the ball?”

It was clearly meant for the Hellhound who sighed and stood, going to the ball and grabbing it between her fangs with perhaps a little too much force than necessary. She placed it in front of him and Sam grabbed it.

The ball was no longer a ball, but something reassembling one. Sam gave Lisa a small smile and a ‘Ta-dah’ as he signaled the ball.

Lisa now seemed as unimpressed as the Hellhound. Sam returned to his task of looking for the book he wanted to lend Lisa.

“So, how are your vacations doing? I haven’t seen you at all this weekend so I thought you took a trip or something like you used to do before. Imagine my surprise when I find out you haven’t moved from town and now that I visit you, I’m seeing you here, alone, without the BF.”

Well, Sam wasn’t going to mention those days he took from work were mostly to hunt.

“Believe me, I’d like to take the impala and visit some place.” And he really did, preferably one with a hunt. “But I’ve stuff to do before I move out. Papers to fill and documents to read.”

That was also true. He just didn’t mention most of that he did the first day and then he spent all the time with Lucifer learning all he could about Hell. A day before Thanksgiving he was supposed to meet the leaders of some of the factions and he was preparing for that, though he went nervous every time he thought of being in a room with the most powerful demons of Hell.

“Haven’t got that apartment you wanted?”

Sam smiled, taking the book from the box. There was no dusk and it looked as good as he once bought it. “As a matter of fact, I already signed the papers. They give me the apartment in three months. A pretty good deal for an apartment like that one.”

“That deserves some celebration! Don’t you think the same, sweetheart? You don’t like that name? Sam, your dog is looking me like I killed her cubs or something. Uh… Did you finally put her a name?”

Sam tried to not laugh of the way Lisa was looking intently at the book, clearly trying to ignore the disapproving look the hellhound had as he gave the book to Lisa. It reminded him of all those old book he still had to finish about Hell.

“No. Though believe me, something cute wouldn’t be my first option.”

“She’s cute though,” she mumbled, not daring to look away from the book. “Even so, you need to find her a name.”

“I’ve some ideas.”

She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah, right. So! I return it next week, how does that sound?”

“Take all the time you can, Liz.”

Closing the book, she inspected it more carefully, making sure to look between all the pages.

“Do I want to ask what are you doing?”

“Just checking. Last time I found that crayon, now I want to make sure there’s nothing yours here.”

“Oh, yeah. The crayon…”

She threw him a glance. “Did you ask him about it?”

Sam shook his head, thinking in the innocent crayon that once was a pencil he tried to hurt himself with. He glanced at the Hellhound licking her paws across from them looking like an innocent dog, hiding away one of the most horrifying creatures in Hell. Both of them turned into something different thanks to same being.

Lisa lowered the book as she looked at him. “Sam?”

“Crayon,” he murmured. He liked the name. The crayon was white, completely harmless, while the Hellhound’s appearance was black, still with fangs and claws to attack. Different but at the same time similar. “I’m going to name her Crayon.”

“What.”

Shaking his head, Sam turned towards the Hellhound and she perked up, probably guessing his words would be important this time. Lucifer kept giving him not so subtle hints about naming already the Hellhound and he probably wasn’t going to think into something better.

“Your name is going to be Crayon.”

The Hellhound, now named Crayon, understood. She nodded, not looking pleased, but not looking displeased either. Anyway, she didn't look disgusted so he was going to count it as a win.

“Crayon, really? Can I ask why?”

Sam grinned. “A small inside joke that needs some extensive context to understand, maybe someday I’ll tell you when we have more time.”

“And that reminds me, I need to go buy a new phone,” she said, standing.

“Told you to not leave it where it could easily fall.”

Lisa glared at him but there was no heat. “Yeah, well, I’ll just buy something I can make and receive calls.”

“On this age? Be careful with that. Make sure it has a good camera and processor. Lucifer got a new phone and I was reminded of how hard it's to get one. Oh, you like to download videos so be sure it has a good … capacity? Why are you looking me like that?”

“You got nothing to do right now?”

Sam thought in all the books he had to read. “Well…”

“Can you go with me to look at phones?”

Technically, when Sam mentioned Lucifer Lisa was coming, he told him to use the time to rest. If she left, he would go back to the books. Hell politics were confusing, weird, slightly boring and completely terrifying. Though he had to admit they were interesting. Even so, he’s been reading the same topic for three days.

There was a loophole he could use here.

“Count me in.”

* * *

“Okay, I don’t think I’ve any other mutual number I can give you,” Sam said, scrolling for the second time all his contacts.

“The last one ended with a five-three, right?”

“Bobby’s? Yeah.”

“Then yep, I’ve them all.” She put the phone inside her bag and smiled at him. “Thanks for coming with me, Sam.”

“No problems, I needed some time away from reading, too. So thanks for letting me use you as a perfect distraction.”

“That's what I'm here for.”

Sam snorted and glanced around just out of habit. They were close from where he’d seen that coffee shop where he talked with Gabriel but after Lucifer told him he hadn’t found the place, he hadn’t thought about it again.

Until he saw it across the street.

“Do you want to have some coffee, Liz?” he said without thinking.

She glanced at him before her eyes followed his gaze. “Yeah, sure. It’s a bit cold. Do you know the place?”

“The best vanilla latte you will taste.”

They crossed the empty street and Sam finally took into account how weird that kind of empty was. Unnatural. In front of the door, Lisa didn’t ask about the reluctance he showed before grabbing the handle. She went inside next to him. The place was the same. Warm and welcoming, he could feel Liza easing at his side. Though he didn’t look at her friend’s smile, he was looking at the being sitting behind the bar with a lopsided smile and a lollipop between his fingers.

“Hey, Sam! How are you doing? You look better. Well, you have some bags under your eyes which is completely understandable but put that aside and you look fine. No more problems in Paradise, I get?”

Sam smiled at him, sending a quick prayer of ‘Lucifer, your brother is at the coffee shop again’ before he walked towards the man.

“Thanks, I’m feeling better, too, I guess. This is my friend and co-worker, Lisa,” he said motioning at Liz who was looking calmer than he had seen her around a stranger. “Liz, this is Gabriel. He’s Lucifer’s little brother.”

Lisa’s hand was on her mouth as she tried to hide her smile. “He wasn’t kidding when he said his family is religious. Hi, pleased to meet you, Gabriel.”

She didn’t offer her hand, but she did wave at him and that was a more cheerful answer than her usual. Sam wanted to smile at her but he also wanted to know why Gabriel was there, showing himself at him.

“Please call me Gabe. So what can I serve you? I promised Sam a discount the other time so everything is half price for you two.”

"Let me think about it."

Lisa went closer to the board to look at the options, away from them and clearly knowing Sam wanted some privacy.

“Smart girl,” Gabriel said when Sam leaned against the bar. “You know, I wasn’t completely sure Lucy would be on board to help big bro so I didn’t think that far away from what would happen next. Learning he’s preparing you to take the mantle in his absence while not unexpected, still was slightly surprising.”

“Just slightly?”

“Well, surprising was learning he had a human boyfriend, shocking was seeing you two and realizing he was completely head over heels. After that, the idea of him leaving his throne on your hands is pretty feasible.”

“Well, I was really taken aback when he ask me to. But when you say it like that it does sound predictable.”

“Lucifer asked you? Huh. I’ve heard he’s changed. It’s nice to have confirmation. Old Lucifer wasn't one to ask.”

“It’s nice to have known first the changed Lucifer instead of the old one. I don’t think I’d have fallen for the old one.”

“Old Lucifer was kind of a asshole, believe me. Old-old Lucifer was really nice, though.”

That was an amusing way to poke at Lucifer's real age without mentioning the Fall. Or the war that came afterwards.

“Yeah, I bet. He told me once his problem with God was basically a disagreement of views and that he preferred to show examples instead of lean on pure arguments.”

Sam smirked at the look Gabriel was giving him. “I think that was old Lucifer showing through though. We know he just threw a temper tantrum of heavenly proportions. I know it, he knows it. Now he only has to admit it.”

“We probably have to find someone to tell him that to his face first.”

“Oh, I’ve told him. He doesn’t think he has Daddy issues but I’m working on it.”

Gabriel grinned at him. “I like you, kid. You’ve guts.”

“Guys?” They both turned towards Lisa who was standing next to the board with crossed arms and an amused smile. “You finished? Because thanks to Sam I’m on the mood for coffee and I really want a cup.”

Gabriel stood straight. “For the love of all that’s sweet, how could I’ve ignored a client! My apologies, fair lady. What can I get you?”

She glanced at the board. “Well, everything sounds nice and I just want something that’s warm so… surprise me?”

“Free reign? You’re giving me free reign? Yes!”

He threw a fist in the air. A fairly amusing sigh if only because he was the smaller of them. The song from Rocky suddenly played in the background as Gabriel cracked his knuckles and jogged on the same spot, but the music stopped as he turned to look at Lisa, who was looking slightly weird out.

“Before I get too excited, do you like sweets?”

“Um, yeah. I love them.”

Gabriel smiled and Sam didn’t know if it was an angel thing or not but it seemed that their smiles, the real ones, were different from any human was able to achieve, in the way you don’t only saw them, but also felt them around you, making everything brighter. It was nice.

It took a couple minutes before they both had their drinks served in front of them and were enjoying them, talking about Lisa’s new phone and giving relationship advice for Sam. Gabriel talked a bit about his trips around the world when Lisa told she wanted to travel, never mentioning anything supernatural or what he really was. He didn’t know how but once they seemed to be talking about pies, and in the next moment Gabriel was being invited to the Thanksgiving party Ellen was giving. It was confusing and something told him he was being played, but Sam chose to ignore it. He was more worried about Lucifer and what was taking him so long because it had passed already an hour since Sam told him where he was and who was he meeting with.

“I think is time to leave,” Lisa said looking at the time on her new phone. “I've to work tomorrow, unlike you. And it’s my turn to do inventory.”

“If it makes you feel better, I only got those four days. Tomorrow at night, I’ll return.” Sam stood up with her friend and smiled at Gabriel. “The drinks were good, thanks.”

"Yeah, sure. Always a pleasure." Gabriel returned the smile though it had a tad of uneasiness. He threw a couple of nervous glances at the door and that was enough for him to realize what was happening.

Lisa was already moving towards the doors but Sam stayed where he was. He leaned down a little and whispered, “I don’t know if he’s like the old-old one you remembered, but he’s nice. Maybe you would like to get to know him.”

Gabriel made a face. “I had done things to stay hidden. My own version of witness protection so other angels wouldn’t recognize me by what I once was. For them I kinda look pagan right now. Luci hates pagans.”

“He also hated humans; now he’s kind of dating one.”

Sam followed Lisa who waved at Gabriel before opening the door; Lucifer was standing in font of them with a pleased smile.

“Hello, Sam, Lisa.”

Lisa looked at him for a moment before glancing behind him where he could sense Gabriel standing. She sighed and pointed a different store. “I need to buy a magazine. I'll wait you there. Perhaps we can talk another time, BF.”

“That sounds pleasant, yes.”

She pulled out her phone and smiled cheekily at them before leaving. Sam waited before she was out of earshot.

“I’ll be brief because I promised Lisa to walk her home. Lucifer, you give him grief, I’ll give you grief. So be civil.”

Lucifer scoffed before he tilted his head towards his brother. “Why I’m the only getting the third degree here?”

“Lucifer, I love you but while your brother can be a jerk, you can be downright mean.”

“Hey, I’m here!”

“I’m not mean.”

Sam glanced at the store Lisa went inside before leaning and leaving a kiss to the corner of Lucifer’s lips. “That you’re not to me doesn’t mean you aren’t mean.” He looked over his shoulder. “Bye, Gabriel.”

"What, I don't get a kiss?"

Sam started walking after he heard a small smack sound that comes when one has been hit. They didn’t need a chaperon to solve their problems but Sam still hoped nothing would go wrong.

“Oh brother, you’re so whipped,” was the last he heard from the pair before he pulled his own phone to check the time.

Well, at least he was pretty sure Lucifer wouldn’t kill his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to let you know, I planned to call the hellhound Crayon since ages back. I think it was back to the previous fic, though that time was in a more humorous way without turning Crayon into a dog so Sam kind of couldn't see it. I really wanted to add Crayon to that story but never quite managed. Now I've got a reason to do it and yes! Crayon is now alive! If you want to know how she kind of looks then you'd like to know I based her on Gorlassar's version of a [Hellhound ](http://gorlassar.tumblr.com/post/128984540793/love-your-art-aaah-the-crobby-brings-a-smile-to)  
> (In the link you will find both versions. The Hellhound one and the other that's a dog. Just picture her smaller.)  
> By the way, I'm posting a re-written version of an old WIP, so in case you want to check out a mostly fluffy fic (though this is me we're talking about) about the Winchester babysitting the archangel made kids, then read it: [ Deus ex Machina](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6556978)  
> Thanks for your kudos and following this work hope you like this chapter. Comments are gold!


	6. Interlude: Gabriel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Becoming one? Kinky.” The pagan’s smile was strained as he laughed. “You’re desperate too, aren’t you, Feathers?”  
> Gabriel smiled, thinking in all he was leaving behind. He was an archangel; they would start looking for him soon. Perhaps becoming one with a pagan was a better idea as there were less chances of others finding what he truly was. Although he won’t probably be able to return to Heaven for a long, long time. And that- that he dreaded.  
> “I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. Updating after a couple weeks? Oh my Gosh what's happening?!  
> I'm trying to follow a schedule, that's what's happening. I was planning in posting every 15 and 30 alongside my other Samifer fic, '[One Wish](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6560647)', but I was too excited at having all the chapters from the WIPs I'm working about ready and just waiting to be posted. So I said 'what the hell' and now I'm posting both, plus the Naruto/Walking Dead crossover instead of just one. However, how I want to keep the schedule so I'll post the 15 the next chapter of this story. Maybe a couple days before if I get enough feedback to motivate me.  
> Hope you like this interlude. I had too much Gabriel written from the GabrielBB I resigned, so I'm kind of recycling some Pre-Fall ideas. Oops  
> (Posting so much at this pace makes me want to create a metaphor with Icarus and myself)

Emotions. What a curious word. They weren’t supposed to have them, to feel them. Yet he still did, always. They were created to be tools—refined until they became weapons. After all, archangels didn’t just appear with a snap of fingers, ready to destroy. They were called Heaven’s most powerful weapons but they weren’t that at first, no. How could they? Enemies, danger, war—those concepts didn’t exist. Not to them. Not yet, at least.

Created to guard His creations at first. God might be omniscient and all that but He still couldn’t focus all His attention when He was already busy Creating. That job went to them. He’s mentioned it before, hasn’t he? They were tools. Little more than objects. Sentient and powerful just because their Father needed them to be that way. Though that didn’t mean they were treated as less. They were one of His first sentient creations. Archangels, unlike their other siblings, were taught. Their Father was the one who taught them everything and more according to the task they were given.

Free Will? Emotions? That was something for humans. Angels didn’t feel that. They weren’t supposed to feel that. He felt happiness before though, but he thought it was the aftereffect of being with his brothers what made him brighter, not an emotion. He didn’t understood them. After all, they were still tools. At least, to their own eyes, they _were_ tools, created to obey His will.

However, when he saw Michael standing high and tall, wings burning, impossibly wide, glaring down with a sword pointed at Lucifer’s chest, so power-imposing and regal in posture, but with hands slightly trembling as Lucifer directed him such hatred-filled eyes; Gabriel understood. He remembered glancing at his side and seeing the wet bright eyes of Raphael looking at the scene in front of them.

 _We’re feeling,_ he thought.

And then, Lucifer was thrown into the pit.

* * *

  _“The love between humans is different from the one we feel for you, Father?”_

_“Why do you ask, son?”_

_“I saw a human telling other ‘I love you’, but the person was visibly vulnerable while saying it and I thought it curious.”_

There were a couple of seconds of silence before Father asked a question of his own. _“Why do you love me, Gabriel?”_

Not even thinking about it, Gabriel answered, _“Because you are my Father.”_

Another silence came and it confused him. He thought in asking why Father asked him that or what it had to do with his first question when God said, _“It’s because of Free Will.”_

Gabriel’s wings shifted. He was one of the oldest beings in Creation, a Prince of Heaven, called wise by his younger siblings, and yet he always felt like a fledgling under Father’s all-knowing gaze. _“I don’t understand.”_

Father looked down at him with a small sad smile. _”Humans are vulnerable and they know it, even if they try to hide it, building up defenses around them to be safe. Being sincere does not come easily to them when it’s important. That’s why when they tell someone they love them, they’re not only letting them know their feelings; they are opening to the other, showing how vulnerable they really are, while giving them the power to hurt them.”_

_“To hurt them? I—I don’t—“_

_“It’s alright, Gabriel. Unlike humans, you have nothing to lose as you were made to love me. But I’m telling you this because I want you to realize how strong humans are.”_

Gabriel glanced to the side, lost into his own thoughts as Father returned to rest on the Garden, letting him take his time to think. They were both resting as Gabriel finished not long ago his report, at the same time Father finished with checking the changes on the flora and fauna of Eden.

It didn’t take long before Gabriel turned around again to look better at his Father, taking hold of His Grace in the same way he did when he wanted Father’s attention focused solely on him. _“Father, I know we were made to love you, but I think that if I had Free Will, I would still love you.”_ Ignoring the amusement he felt coming from Father, Gabriel continued. _“I have never been hurt but I think the pain would be worth if I could still love you.”_

_“Truly?”_

Gabriel nodded, liking the way Father smiled at him.

 _“Why do you love me, Gabriel?”_ God asked again and this time Gabriel thought about the question but the answer still was the same in his mind. He looked up, his grace still clutching from Father’s, to find out Father’s kind and patient expression looking back. Gabriel felt the warmth his presence brought stronger in the same way he felt the moment he was created and Father groomed his new wings. _“You are my son,”_ he had said. _“And I am your creator- your Father.”_

Gabriel didn’t try to search for the answer God probably wanted to hear. He smiled, his grace shinning brighter as he embraced his Father. _“Because you are my Father,”_ he whispered and Father answered the hug, his movements coming slightly slow as He hummed in the way he always did when one creation did something unexpected.

* * *

Gabriel was His messenger. And because of that tittle, he was the one who talked with Him more. That was why he was the first to notice how their Father had left some time after the Fall happened. He was concerned, of course. He was not innocent, not by a long shot, but he was still young. Not as the others were. He was an archangel; there were few older beings than them. But he was still the younger of Father’s first creations. Finding that his Father left without messages or directions for them was too much for him. He might have realized he had emotions but that didn’t make him good to recognize them all so he panicked.

And what little brothers do when they’re worried and don’t know what to do? They ask for the help of their elders. However he chose to forget how Michael didn’t want to accept his own emotions, how he was worse and not better at dealing with them than him. His brother wanted to think they were still tools. Because if they had emotions, then they must have Free Will, too. And that would meant that he willingly threw his little brother into the Cage and that was a notion too painful for him to accept.

Even so, Gabriel went to him as Michael still was his older brother even if he had become introverted and harsh after the Fall. He told him what he found when Michael was in the middle of looking at plans for the battle the demons and the fallen were preparing for. His brother paused for long second before he went to look for their Father. Though it didn’t take him long for him to reach the same conclusion Gabriel had: Their Father had left them.

And then Michael became worse.

Because, what could happen when sentient tools no longer had an owner to wield them? What could happen if the ones who thought themselves tools, were not as cold and unfeeling as they wanted to be? What could happen if they could feel and hold grudges?

What could happen if they were beings with unfathomable powers whom only had an old script left?

Chaos, of course.

And Gabriel saw that one coming from the moment Michael started being more militaristic towards their siblings.

He was The Messenger; that was his job. Nonetheless, every time he saw his siblings fight against their own kin he couldn’t help but wonder how long it would take for his title to change.

It didn’t take too long.

* * *

_“What are you going to start with?”_

_“I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and bring you this good news,”_ he said in a monotone tone, head hanging low, the slight shift of his wings being the only clue that showed his uneasiness.

_“That’s good, son. You can go now.”_

_“Should I give you constant reports or wait until I return, Father?”_

Gabriel couldn’t see his Father’s face but he could feel His Grace coloring with warmth as He stroked his wings. _“I always like to hear your reports, Gabriel. Never stop talking to me.”_

There was something else hidden between Father’s words, he knew it even if he couldn’t understand it. Though it didn’t surprise him. The knowledge Father possessed was vast in comparison to his own.

So he nodded, staying a moment longer in place, enjoying the grooming like he always did when young, before leaving, a small smile making his lips curl. He didn’t repeat the words he had to give even if they stayed at the forefront of his mind until he could finally say them. It wasn’t his first work as messenger, but he could safely say he liked his job. He liked Earth and liked interacting with other beings.

* * *

“As I am shield, meant to protect all that attack us; you are to be the strength as it is the meaning of the given name Father gave you,” Michael said, his light darker and weary, barely holding the new weight of the responsibility set on his shoulders.

“My name says I am to be his strength, but the title he gave me after was to be His Messenger. Are you going to rebuke me of that, brother?” 

If possible, Michael’s grace, once scorching hot, went cold. “No, you are and will always be Father’s messenger. However, we do not have the need of a messenger at the moment.”

“In the same way you do not have a need of a Healer? I heard Raphael is battling.”

“What can we do if demons don’t stop coming, Gabriel? They are angry their father is inside the Cage.”

Gabriel glanced down. He didn’t know how to fix the problems. He wasn’t a general like Michael and Lucifer were.

“What about our siblings? You are alienating them.”

“Angels fell alongside Lucifer; there could be more between our ranks. I am trying to prevent others to follow their steps.”

Wings spread wide. ”Ranks? They are young and you are scaring them, Michael!”

Michael’s wings answered to the threat. The longer length unfurled, looking to subdue Gabriel with the imposing image they were. Gabriel retreated. Not because he was afraid, but for the indignation he felt at Michael’s actions.

“What are you doing?”

“I should ask you that. You may be Judgment but I am Justice and you Commander. Remember who you are shouting at.”

The flood of emotions Gabriel felt at the cold tone were like a tight grip on his grace; he couldn’t answer as thinking became harder. He felt small. Like when he was but a fledging that made a terrible mistake he didn’t know how to fix and wanted nothing but furl within itself.

But Father would not come to tell him everything was fine. Michael wasn’t going to show him a way to resolve the problem. Raphael would not come to help. And Lucifer wasn’t going to make a bigger disaster to take the attention away from him.

His family was broken and it only took a look at Michael to realize his brother knew that too.

“I thought I was speaking with my older brother.”

Michael’s cold demeanor cracked, showing how frail it truly was. But his posture was still rigid and his wings retreated to his form, tightly pressed against himself. “We do not have the need for that either.”

“Is that so?” he murmured, mind going to the younger siblings he helped raise not so long ago. Would they become the tools so many thought they were?

Gabriel went closer, wings pressed down to the ground of the star they were on; submissive in the same way he placed them whenever his Father called him to give him His Word. Gabriel thought Michael would appreciate it but he looked so young and lost as he saw his actions, no longer looking like the Commander of the Heavenly Host but more like the brother he remembered. Gabriel wanted to console him, tell him everything would be alright, but he couldn’t. Michael made his choice.

“Can I ask to embrace my brother before I leave for combat, Commander?”

There wasn’t a response but Michael didn’t move as Gabriel went even closer until their graces could touch. He didn’t say anything as Gabriel’s wings went to hold him close for what both knew would probably be the last time, looking for the warmth he always felt when he hugged his older sibling and to hide the golden tears bathing his eyes, not wanting Michael to see the fear and determination flaring up inside them.

They stayed like that, two bright energies looking for the comfort they knew wouldn’t come, igniting each other’s light for a fleeting moment before the mayhem that was war would come to engulf and burn them from everything that made them what they were.

When they separated, Michael was his Commander and Gabriel was to be a weapon, no longer a Messenger. And he fought one, three—twenty times. Always taking the longer route to Earth, the one that visited most of Heaven whenever he went to battle or returned from it, with no idea of who he was, just knowing what he didn’t want to be and afraid of what he could become. Resting thinking of the fights that he fought and waking up weary from the fights that were soon to come.

Angels didn’t need to sleep, so why he did? Why did he feel so tired?

And he fought against demons and his own brethren, angels he once taught how to fly, making sure no one under his command fell in battle, wanting to protect his younger siblings for the last time. Always the last time, he said to himself. Carnage coloring the ground of not only red and black from demon blood but also of bright golden liquid and burnt feathers.

He could no longer work to stabilize his siblings, lift their moods and make their grace bright from the happiness he thought they didn’t have. Gabriel was breaking, barely able to keep himself together. He wanted his family as it once was but he was already too stretched thin.

* * *

 “Michael is overstressing with all the prayers, Father. He never received one and I think the emotions humans put in his words are too overwhelming.” Gabriel stayed silent as he looked down to Earth, knowing no answer would come. “Michael would soon receive his own prayers as knowledge is being circulated by the prophets. I am afraid it is too much for him, Father.”

Gabriel sighed, wings slumping at his sides.

“I did not know you still reported to Father, Gabriel.”

“Hello, Raphael.”

Raphael did not answer, she also sat next to him to get a better view of Earth. “The fights are receding. They probably realized nothing they do would release Lucifer.”

“Not that it would stop them for trying to search a way.”

“That is true,” Raphael said before turning to look at him. “You did not tell me about the reports you are still giving. Did Father tell you to…?”

“No.”

“Then why?”

Gabriel pursed his lips, gesture he picked from some humans and thought it interesting to use now he constantly used a vessel. “Because I gave Father the permission to hurt me. And I told him I would still love him even if He did.”

Raphael tilted her head, black hair falling to rest on her shoulder; a silent question. Gabriel laughed as he could see the confusion written on her face tinted with sadness even if for most her face would look too stoic. She’s been wearing a vessel slightly longer than him and yet expressions came harder for her. Or maybe she didn’t even try them. Gabriel didn’t know. It had been years since the last time he had seen Raphael. And that one time was in battle, when their garrisons briefly met to change information. He didn’t know how the war had changed gentle and responsible Raphael and that saddened.

“You are crying.”

Fingers went to his face only to find wet trails across his cheeks. A sob escaped him and he suddenly found himself surrounded by wings that weren’t his own.

“You have emotions?” a low voice asked close to his ear, worried and afraid.

“I think I have Free Will,” he whispered back with the same tone of one confessing committing a great sin. “I have been doubting.”

The wings around him stiffened, but Raphael’s cheek didn’t move from his head. Her voice didn’t come in monotone as she asked him what he was going to do; it was full of concern.

“I do not know. I cannot fall, nor do I want to, but the battle. I don’t—I don’t like it. I don’t think I can’t continue, Raphael.”

She was silent as she held him, letting him cry all he wanted. The hour for battle was near and both knew it. Raphael tightened her hold, her voice wavering once as she said, “Then go. This is not for you. You are not made for battle, Gabriel. You are our little messenger.”

Taking a shaky breath, Gabriel nodded, not mentioning how she wasn’t a warrior either but a healer. He knew Raphael would never leave Michael alone.

“Thank you.”

* * *

 “Attention,” Gabriel said and the angels moved as one, ignoring their sorrow and tiredness, perfect copies made to obey, already taught to not show emotions. Gabriel smiled at them, made it possible by the vessel he wore, beautiful as all angel’s vessels were. He wanted to cry as he tried to ignore the dead bodies surrounding them, marks of scorched wings littering the ground. Gabriel extended his grace, engulfing everyone in what could be a hug. They were surprised, even more so when he told them they did a good job. “Now return to Heaven and rest.”

And then Gabriel watched the doubt in their eyes before they flew up in the sky as were ordered to do, bright like stars, so beautiful and flawed.

The battle helped Gabriel to choose. He knew what he didn’t want to do and was starting to figure who he wanted to be.

Gabriel turned around, giving his back to the specks of angels that were now close to what was once Home as he cried. His armor fell to the ground as he walked, naked in his human visage as he placed cloak upon cloak on his vessel, a trick once taught to him by Lucifer so they could roam Earth behind Michael’s back. His wings unfurled for a second before with a flutter he flew away from the devastation of the battlefield, not looking back; he only had a couple weeks before Michael noticed his absence.

* * *

Gabriel didn’t intend to go across that place. He hadn’t thought about it as he flew away from the remnants of battle. He would say it was just a coincidence, but he didn’t believe in them, so when he realized he was close to the place Lucifer’s Cage resided, Gabriel didn’t know what to do. He was still looking for something to hide him that wouldn’t be temporarily; he didn’t have time to waste. Although, even as he repeated that to himself, Gabriel couldn’t help but sat on top of the Cage. Or maybe above it would be a better description as the Cage was actually on other reality entirely, close to Hell, and he was just on top of the door where it was supposed to be.

The place was empty as no one but the archangels and God knew where the Cage was. There were still demons close a few thousand kilometers away because even if the actual place is not known, everyone had seen the general direction where Lucifer fell and were looking. Gabriel knew they wouldn’t find anything as even he was unable to feel a trace of his brother.

He sat on the same spot for long hours, looking up at the sky remembering old good days, wondering if he would ever be able to fly again without hiding, wondering if he would feel the Word of his Father through him, warm voice drowning him in exaltation, so close and impossible.

 _Why did you leave us?_ he wanted to ask, but refrained.

 _Are you alright?_ Was on the tip of his tongue, heavy and painful, every emotion he hadn’t know existed before consuming him, so overwhelming; making him feel as the only bearer of all the pain of the world, a star ready to go supernova, a spot of light overflowing with what wasn’t meant for him. He settled for the truth as he was once meant to do.

“Heaven does not longer feel like home anymore,” he settled to say as it was the truth and that was what he was once meant to do. A job he once enjoyed.

Then he placed one thicker cloak on top of his vessel and left, his eyes glancing down for the last time, to where his once favorite brother was. The one he still loved even when he started hating him. He tried to smile, not to gloat, just wanting to show he was okay.

* * *

What most humans decide to forget about angels was that what they saw was not what an angel truly was. They forget that to not go around killing everyone who peeked a look at them, they chose to wear vessels. They took it as given that their visage reassembled their own, because in their brains if God created them with bodies, then angels must have them, too. That was why when an angel presented to a human, they misunderstood their stoic stances and voices, faces devoid of emotions and stiff attitude as perfection—angels being above petty human responses, like emotions and reactions. Humans wanted perfection for the divine and they molded angels to their view.

Angels were not perfect.

If they looked apathetic it wasn’t because they were above emotions, tough Gabriel won’t deny that most liked to think that way.

The thing about vessels was that for angels they were like clothes. The new kind that a mother bought for their kids so they could use it for church. Stiff and uncomfortable. One didn’t know how to move, how to form emotions or soothe their own voice when they never had a body to get used to. A tad on the tight side too, because when one was light for so long, compressing oneself, folding and folding until one was small enough to turn your light into something else, something tangible, and maintain it that way, into those tiny vessels—it was something hard to do, especially when you were the size of Jupiter.

There was an easier way though. One where you could learn quicker and easily how to act. It wasn’t forbidden exactly, but it was one of those implicit rules one knew not to do: possession.

Angels and demons were able to form their own bodies. Angels just by feeling the species could replicate their physical aspect into something that would belong them, while demons needed their blood to do the same, thing they often did even if the morals of possession went above their heads. They merely preferred to be alone inside a body instead of having to suppress the soul’s cries forever until they stopped sharing.

But that was what Gabriel needed in that moment. Something that could hide him. And what better option than a soul.

What better body than one belonging to a pagan’s?

Their presence, so unlike his own, would be enough to hide his divinity. It would be still small and uncomfortable, maybe even more than whatever vessel he could create, but it could work. Gabriel could read their memories, copy their mannerisms until they were his before his grace burned them completely as no being was made to contain an archangel’s grace.

He inhaled, sensing around the world for the beings with more power and looked between those for the characteristics that would fit him the best.

There was one tainted with twisted justice, responsibility and mischief that reminded him of his older siblings. And there was a frayed judgment that was similar to his own. The features were darker and warped—cruel, but it was as if it was calling him.

There was also a desperate edge inside the pagan, something that he could use.

“I can help you,” he said as he appeared in front of the being. The pagan looked surprised as the hand holding some food stopped midair. He blinked once, before looking from head to toe, his gaze slowing in some places.

“Well, you certainly can help me with some things, Feathers. But sorry, no can do. We don’t dwell with your type, as I’m sure you must know.”

Gabriel ignored his condescending smile.

“I can free your children.”

The pagan didn’t move from the spot where it was but Gabriel could see the interest and a flash of desperation in his eyes. “Oh, really? How?”

“Do you doubt my power?”

The being huffed. “Okay, okay, oh high and mighty. Probably I should have asked you what do you want in exchange, huh? Holy you may be, but to come to me?... well, you want something, am I right?”

“Yes.”

There was a small silence in which both looked at the other. Then the pagan rolled his eyes. “Can’t even talk with your kind,” he muttered. “So! What would you want from lil ol’ me, Feathers? Just curiosity, of course. Never seen your kind doing deals with mine after all.”

“I want your body.”

The pagan’s eyes went again to his vessel's body. “Something tells me you don’t mean a good night.”

Gabriel tilted his head. “I do not request for sex. I want your body in exchange for your children’s freedom.”

“Yeah, no. If you don’t have any other offer, you can’t leave from where you came.”

“I thought a father would do everything for their children,” Gabriel said, even as the words hurt him deeply. “Would you not sacrifice yourself so the innocent could continue living? Your sense of judgement and justice are twisted but you still have them. I thought my offer would be enough, or do you not think the same?”

“Uh-huh.” The pagan blew out a breath as he looked up at the ceiling of the small shrine they were in. Long minutes passed with him peeking glances at him before he sighed. “First you fill your part and then I can… I’ll give you my body.”

Gabriel shook his head. “I need your body now.”

“Getting a bit ahead of yourself, dontcha think? How do I know you will do your part of the deal when you’re using me, um?”

“You know what kind of being I am; you know how much value our words have.”

“I get that, but I also realize you’re kind of running from something. And don’t think no one has noticed the big war your kind is in the middle of.”

Gabriel frowned. There was another option but it was hard to even think about it. One think was using a pagan’s body to hide his own divinity and another was to…

“We could merge our beings. Your consciousness would join mine; your worries would become mine.”

“Becoming one? Kinky.” The pagan’s smile was strained as he laughed. “You’re desperate too, aren’t you, Feathers?”

Gabriel smiled, thinking in all he was leaving behind. He was an archangel; they would start looking for him soon. Perhaps becoming one with a pagan was a better idea as there were less chances of others finding what he truly was. Although he won’t probably be able to return to Heaven for a long, long time. And that- that he dreaded. 

“I am.”

The pagan sighed. “So we’re in the same boat. Well, in that case I accept, Feathers. Though I’ve one more condition.”

Looking up, Gabriel frowned at the pagan.

“Don’t worry, nothing harsh. I just—I want to know the name of the being that will jump my bones, you know?”

“Gabriel," he said, translating his name from the language of angels into something earthly. "They call me Gabriel.”

“Okay then, Gabriel. Now they’ll call you Loki, so remember that name because you’ll be me.”

“You accept the deal then?”

Spreading his arms wide, Loki grinned. The power making him a god surfacing for Gabriel to take. It was perverted and distorted as Gabriel’s been told about but he was also able to feel the essence of Nature twirling inside him, the human belief clinging to his being making him beautiful in the same way humans were.

 “Yup, this is me, accepting.”

Uncertainty and fear adorned his power, but there was relief too.

 _‘Can you love in a human way, too?’_ Gabriel wondered as he unfolded his being, making himself light as he traveled to the body in front of him to make it his. _‘Yes, of course you do. You’re sacrificing yourself, after all.’_

It was different from making his own vessel but not bad as the different power fused with his own, concealing what was once a lonely bright light, so beautiful and imperfect, and turning it into something he could call his own, ready to run and live for the first time since it was created.

Gabriel smiled, the action showing in the curl of lips of his new skin, already feeling the pagan inside him burning into his being, their personalities mixing without one wanting to take control of the other. The knowledge was the next to come and Gabriel laughed as the emotions of humans praying at Loki tingled his new skin.

He glanced at the food still between his fingers, looking at the brown liquid coating what looked like a fruit and sensing the emotions humans put in their offers. So precious and warm.

In the same way angels didn’t possess emotions and didn’t get tired, they didn’t need either. However Gabriel felt as if he needed the food in his hand and he couldn’t help himself as he put the fruit inside his mouth and tasted something for the first time.

It was bittersweet in the same way his newfound freedom was.

He kind of liked it.

* * *

“Did you know ol’ Luci is outside the Cage? Well, you most likely know, of course. Just letting you know ‘cause I haven’t seen any meteors falling or humans breathing brimstone. It’s been almost a decade since then and I was curious, y’know?”

There was a crack of wood echoing loudly in the quietness church and Gabriel glanced towards the sound. More of a reflex knee-jerking reaction than actually expecting some kind of signal from his deadbeat Father. He let out a breath, turning his sight to the painting of God in front of him. It was an awful painting. Kinda funny too. The reason why he choose the place, actually. He didn’t like to give this reports but always felt the need to do them. His guilty consciousness constantly nagging him to talk to his Dad even if he knew no answer would come. It kind of pissed him off how he still loved him, but that was easy to ignore when talking to a bad painted, awfully proportioned picture of his Father.

“Normally, I wouldn't bother you with old news,” he continued, gesturing at the bad painting with a hand. “I’m sure you already know all about the deal between Tantrum-boy and Heaven’s lil Prince. The thing about it that nags me is that I didn’t expect Lucifer to, well, fulfill his part of the deal. In the same way I didn’t actually think Mike wanted the souls. I just thought he was only doing it to save face, you know? Letting the others think he was only sparing Lucifer because of the deal and not because he’s been turning into a softie since I bailed.

“So I thought to myself, something big must have happened for Michael to be so bold and risk losing credibility just to check if Luci’s changed. Because Lucifer changing? That’s a hard pill to swallow even if one has solid proofs.”

Gabriel sprawled on the bank, the hard surface not bothering him a bit. “So I went and checked up on rebellious bro. Always careful, of course. I want to think Luci wouldn’t kill me since we’re brothers, but…” He swallowed, not wanting to dwell into that train of thought. He forced a smile on his face, false cheerfulness coloring his tone. “Don’t know if you still check up on us, but something tells me even this will surprise you because Lucifer, Hell’s ruler and humanity-hater, has a boyfriend. A _human_ one, can’t you believe it!”

His amused shout echoed across the walls, reverberating in a creepy way that managed to startle him slightly. Muttering about how horror movies started just the same, Gabriel snapped a lollipop into existence.

“Incredible, I know, but true. Sam’s his name. A cute suicidal guy, that one. I did some digging and it seems he made a deal with Lucifer to be his friend. How that evolved into Lucifer making cow eyes at him, I don’t know. I heard teenagers now dig the broody, gloomy look and Lucifer kind of acts like one with that rebellious act going on, but the human doesn’t seem that gloomy. Depression notwithstanding, of course.”

There was a sound of muffled steps that stopped him from continuing coming closer. Usually Gabriel would have fled the place but he recognized the soul from his constant visit so he remained where he was.

“I’ll update you later, Pops,” he mumbled, cutting the link between archangels and God only the four could access just in time he heard a weak and scared “Hello?” coming from the doors.

“Still don’t know why you work as a guard here, voluntarily, when it’s creepy as Hell at nights and you’re even scared of your own shadow, Chuck.”

Chuck released a breath of relief and the light from his lantern moved from the floor to his position. “Talks the one who keeps getting inside at night instead of visiting at normal hours.”

“Touché.”

“I don’t think ‘touché’ works in this situation. Um, talking to God again or aiming for Jesus this time?” he said gesturing at the statue standing at the front with a nervous nod.

“Korean Jesus, you mean? Nah. Just updating.”

Chuck gave him a small shaky smile as he sat next to him. “You always say the same. I still don’t understand what you mean.”

“Yeah, well. Unless you want to go to why you’re working as a security guard here when you aren’t actually a religious person, then I’d leave it at that.”

Chuck hummed, his body relaxing from his usual tense posture. “Not even a clue? I mean, we’ve, um, know each other for a while even if it’s always like this.”

Throwing an amused look at Chuck’s direction, Gabriel chuckled at how small the human was. His soul shook faintly in uneasiness at Gabriel’s constant staring but it didn't make Chuck relent.

“Well, this time is kind of funny so why not,” he said, barely containing his from at Chuck’s surprise.

“Really? Huh. I didn’t think it was going to work out,” he mumbled and this time Gabriel openly laughed. “Okay, you can stop now. Weren't you going to tell me?"

“Sorry, Chucks. You’re just so easy. And it’s nothing big, just my brother having a boyfriend.”

There was a pause in which Chuck raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “And…?”

“Not gonna put a big fuss about it?” Gabriel asked, more amused than anything else.

“It doesn’t bother me, um, if that’s what you’re asking. You also know I’m not that religious.”

“We’ve to talk sometime about it, buddy. You need another hobby than wandering dark churches while you pray nothing would happen.”

Chuck huffed. “Just this one. So, what’s the big deal about your brother having a boyfriend?”

Looking again at the funny painting of his Dad, Gabriel tried to think I’m something to say that wouldn’t include the truth. Because how would a human reach at the news that were Lucifer having a human boyfriend? Believer or not, most could tell it was something big.

“My brother was kind of a jerk the last I saw him, didn’t think he’d fall in love that’s all. I was also wondering how he managed to get someone that loved him back,” he settled to say, because it was also true.

Lucifer had some heavy baggage on him and to see a human loving him back was… bizarre, to say the least. Because it was Love with capital L, the one his Father once told him about; the kind that hurt for how open and vulnerable it left one.

It was weird seeing that boy’s soul calming at Lucifer’s presence and moving closer whenever they were together. And it was even weirder watching Lucifer’s grace react to it with the same enthusiasm. Weird but oddly beautiful.

Chuck hummed, the sound bringing Gabriel to the present. “How long has it been since you last saw him.”

“Literal ages,” he answered, snorting.

“Well, maybe he’s changed. Everyone changed, doesn’t it?”

 _Not Lucifer_ , he wanted to say but knew he was wrong even without speaking out loud.

“Perhaps. Now we just have to worry what he’s going to do when the kid's used against him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s just say my brother’s jerk’s days got him lots of enemies. And if I noticed how head over heels he is, well, others would, too. I even heard some whispers about something like that happening soon.”

That made Chuck sit straighter. “You need to tell your brother,” he said, in a tone that surprised Gabriel slightly by how secure and firm it came.

“I’m kind of trying to escape from all the family drama here. Don’t know if I want to interact with them.”

Fumbling hands clenched into tight fists. “But he’s your brother.”

“Should that be reason enough to intervene?”

“It should.”

Chuck’s hands returning to their fumbling, fingers digging into the sleeves of his shirt with an anxious edge. Gabriel looked at him, at how fragile he was and the strength he carried, highlighted by his noticeable weakness. It reminded why he liked humans even with all the destruction they caused, there were still some of them that tried to do better - be better.

“It is a good reason, alright. So stop fidgeting, I was planning in helping, anyways.”

Though his involvement came because he wanted to help the kid than because of Lucifer. And because something told him Lucifer would go in rampage if something happened to his beau.

“You’re a good person, Gabriel,” Chuck said, his hand touching briefly his shoulder.

He tensed under the hand, a flash of rage and grief passing through him. He didn’t know where the emotion came from but he clasped it tightly, not letting it show. Instead he choose to enjoy the warmth of the soul not only with his angel’s senses, but with the pagan’s one that let him discern better between emotions.

Clearing his throat, Gabriel shrugged the hand off. “Hey, what’s with the tone? I’m not a kid.”

“I get to use that tone with someone younger.”

Gabriel scoffing, not even bothering to mention he was older than the ground under the church they were in. With a false yawn, he stood up. “Yeah, well. I should go now. I’ve a contact I need to talk to so my bro’s boyfriend won’t end in the middle of the infighting.”

“You do that. See you next month then?”

“That predictable I am? Just for that I would choose another date to come here.”

“No, you won’t.”

 _Cheeky human,_ Gabriel thought as he walked towards the church’s doors, a phone materializing between his fingers. He dialed the number with a thought, snapping a chocolate this time in his free hand.

 _“King of the Crossroads speaking,”_ a voice with an English accent answered.

Gabriel smirked. “Hello to you too, Crowley. Do you remember that favor you owed me?”


	7. Precautions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He read the thoughts that were at the front of his mind and almost smiled at the speed conclusions and possibilities came to this human. It seemed luck was on his side. To encounter a not so reckless hunter that was at least somewhat fond of Sam was something that could be helpful.  
> “Are you interested in making a deal, Ash?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some sexual scenes?

They went inside the building Gabriel had been using as a luring façade a couple minutes after Sam’s silhouette was long since gone, the only remnants of his presence the faint murmur of energy from his soul left on his grace, concentrated where their lips touched. It was quiet as they sat on one of the tables, but Lucifer didn’t want to press his brother; it was obvious Gabriel was tense. A human couldn’t see it with the perfect crafted posture he showed in the slump of his shoulder as he sat, carefully relaxed against the chair, and the easy smile on his face that spoke of confidence.

However, Lucifer was an angel and not a human, one who prided himself of knowing most tricks known to supernatural beings. It didn’t matter if Gabriel tried so hard to hide the holiness of his nature, Lucifer could still see it tucked within that pagan power. He admitted he wouldn’t have notice if he wasn’t looking deeply into it, but he was. And unlike him, Gabriel hadn't fell; his pure nature was still intact, just hidden. Slightly perverted by his own doing, looking more human than it should, but still pure and holding the power of one of Heaven’s princes—one of the oldest beings of Creation.

“So… pagan,” he started, realizing Gabriel wouldn’t talk first, as busy as he was trying to get a read on him.

His brother snorted, arms crossing against his chest.

“That’s what you start with? Apparently, being subtle is still not your forte, bro.”

“I _wasn’t_ trying to be subtle.”

The way Gabriel’s wings shifted at his tone, as if ready to fly in moment’s notice, made Lucifer place his hands on top of the table, on clear sight. Perhaps Gabriel would relax that way.

Softening his tone, he added, “I was just curious of what made you take this choice. You only did not take this pagan’s body as yours, you combined their being into yours.”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes but he took the honest curiosity his lack of hostility meant.

“Is not as if I had much of a choice. Heaven wasn’t the kindest of places those times and I _was_ running away from angels—committing treason in their eyes. If Michael had found me, he’d have killed me and made an example out of me. “

“Michael wouldn't have—“

“No, Lucifer, he wouldn’t have killed you. Me, though? I like to think he’d hesitate as we were brothers, but he would have done it anyways. You didn’t see what your fall and Father's departure did to him… In his mind he probably couldn’t afford to look us as something more than soldiers. It wouldn’t have been a brother he was killing.”

Lucifer looked down at his hands, something cold gripping tight of his grace, wanting to take control of the body he wore and made it react in a more human way. He wanted to strengthen his control on it, not wishing to show weakness. However, those words made him feel his real age, suddenly he was too tired to hide himself behind arrogance.

“I’m sorry,” he said, surprising himself and Gabriel at the same time. Not so much at the words than at the real honesty found in them. He realized with a starting clarity that he wanted to say more, so much more; everything he couldn’t say to Michael and Raphael because of his pride, he could to Gabriel. He was the one with whom he connected the most after Michael. And unlike the relationship he had with his older brother, there wasn’t any sibling rivalry; no need to up do each other and show their prowess.

“I don’t regret leaving and I stand up for what I said to Father, but… I'm sorry for letting my anger consume me and start a war. For not thinking of the consequences.” He looked up at him, eyes searching for that speck of grace that was his brother. “I apologize for causing you pain, Gabriel.”

Gabriel’s eyes went unfocused as they drifted to some point above Lucifer’s shoulder, as if detaching himself from his words. But Lucifer could see hoe the faint outline of his wings were quivering, barely holding itself. Lucifer was afraid that if he blinked they’d disappear from his sight, forever hidden upon cloaks meant to shield them.

“I once asked Father why humans looked vulnerable when they loved someone,” he said after long seconds passed, his eyes still not meeting his. “Dad told me it was because they were giving another the power to hurt them freely. He made it seem as if it were a human thing, something angels couldn’t feel. And believed him. But now, I sometimes wonder what would have happened if we would have known since the beginning we were able to love that way—able to be hurt emotionally. If we were told pain is not only something physical one can heal.”

Gabriel then locked their eyes, gaze intense, clearly asking if he would have changed his actions had he known they would end suffering, but not daring to voice it.

Something deep inside his mind, the part that formed after centuries spent on Hell, posturing as the Devil of the old tales that still wanted revenge and held so much hatred, told him he would have enjoyed it more. It whispered he would have thought better forms of torture and destruction.

And then, there was another, smaller part that reminded him of Sam's faith on Lucifer being more than that. Perhaps no longer an angel as it was something he couldn’t really recall as it was no longer him, but someone able to love and forgive. Not unlike the one he was at the moment; someone a broken human could hug, kiss and love.

However, Lucifer knew himself well. And he remembered the stubbornness and pride he held at that time. He didn’t have someone to love him that didn’t hate him in equal measure. Nobody to be next to him as he watched his siblings fall while Father gave him a disappointed look that wasn’t as angry as he was himself.

He knew what he would have truly done so his eyes moved away from Gabriel. It wasn’t lying if Gabriel hadn’t asked a question in the first place.

“My hatred wasn’t small, Gabriel. It was the kind that barely leaves one able to think and just wants to inflict pain. And I was filled with it.”

“But you’ve changed.”

“I have,” he admitted. “I still hate Heaven but now I know it was mostly because I loved it perhaps too much.”

Gabriel huffed in amusement. He snapped his fingers, making two small glasses and a bottle appear. After filling both, he signaled one to Lucifer and held high the other. “For love and how much it sucks then.”

“It does,” he said, mimicking his brother’s gesture before drinking, Gabriel immediately refilling after they were both done.

“Though you’re now chained to a relationship. Is it good for you to say this?”

“Sam knows love sucks. Every time he’s reminded that I’m the Devil, he gets this cute expression as if asking himself ‘what did I get myself into?’ followed by ‘Can I get out of this?’, before he remembers he loves me and that that boat has long since sailed.”

Lucifer grinned because he really loved when Sam found something appalling about him but still accepted it in the end. It was clear on his face how his morality wanted to fight Lucifer’s own, but his affection for him always won.

“Damn, you sound like hormonal teenagers. I bet he takes days off work so you two can spend the day making out.”

“Sam wouldn’t do that.”

Though not for lack of trying on Lucifer’s part. At most he’s made him go fifteen minutes late to his work.

“Uh-huh. With tone I don’t know what to believe,” he said, snapping his fingers again to this time make another bottle appear. “So it was that because you’ve changed? Sam?”

Lucifer hummed as he thought of the day he escaped from the Cage. “Honestly, if Michael hadn’t proposed a truce, I don’t think I'd have changed enough to be able to meet Sam. Or for him to fall in love of me.

“Though I do admit, falling in love of a human was quite the experience. I probably changed more in the short amount of time of us together than the years after the Cage. Though it’s a mutual thing. He’s also changed a bit because of me, especially after living together.”

Gabriel rested his chin under a palm. “Are you preening, really?”

“I’m not,” he said quickly, pressing his wings against his back.

It only managed to get a chuckle of his younger brother, one filled with mirth.

“I’m still surprised by that, just so you know.”

“Surprised?”

“Well, you did formalize a relationship with a human.”

Lucifer leaned forward onto the table. “Thing that wasn’t supposed to leave Hell, so how do you know?”

Gabriel smirked. “You do know Michael and Raphael still use the archangel line for the gossip, right?”

“Yes, I do. Although, does that mean a certain crossroad demon doesn’t have anything to do with your knowledge?”

Making a show of trying to remember, Gabriel hummed thoughtfully.

“Crossroad demon with a British accent? Nah, doesn’t sound familiar.”

“I never mentioned he had a British accent.”

The way Gabriel feigned surprised made Lucifer want to push him out of the chair. He rolled his eyes instead. “Just return him to me. He was a fine secretary and I need more smart demons and can’t afford to lose one even as cunning as he is.”

A couple of seconds passed in which Gabriel seemed to consider Lucifer’s words, no longer feigning ignorance.

“So what, you’ll forgive him for joining Azazel?”

“Well, the stunt he pulled to free Meg was really helpful. Perhaps it will be enough for her to not hate him as much as she does so they’ll be able to work together.”

Gabriel tipped his chair back as if to see Lucifer better, a tiny grin on his lips. “You know, I think it made you better. Dating a human, I mean.”

“His name is Sam,” he corrected automatically. Hearing others calling Sam ‘human’ didn’t made him uncomfortable, but it did made him remember the differences between their species that he wasn’t so ready to deal with; namely, his mortality.

“The boy you’re planning to give your throne, yes, I know. Obviously he’s important to you if you-re trusting him with the charge, as temporary as it would be. He also seems like a nice person. Kinda makes me wonder how you two became a couple.”

Lucifer chuckled, because it was the first time since they had started talking that Gabriel acted like a normal, curious younger brother with his feathers fluttering the way they did.

“Have you ever been in love?”

“… I’ve loved, yes,” Gabriel answered, voice becoming strained for one moment. “Though I think you’re talking about the fiery passion-y stuff?”

Lucifer smiled. “No, I’m talking about the terrifying one that takes hostages and makes your life not your own anymore. The kind of love that would make you risk everything just to see the other smile, and destroy you as easily with one, too.”

“I think so,” Gabriel murmured. “I’ve tried to stay away from it, but there are some many kinds of love that even I can’t avoid them all. All of them awful though.”

Lucifer grunted an affirmative as he licked his lips, taking the lingering feeling of Sam's memory into him. “They are. Though I can’t blame Sam; I was the one who accepted the deal and the one who asked him to become a couple. I can only—“

“Wait. You were supposed to be friends by the deal, right? So how it was, you asked him to be a couple and he accepted or did you have to woo him first and—Your wings just ruffled. You’re fucking embarrassed. Oh my Dad, you wooed him. The Devil took his sweet time to woo a human the old way; I can’t believe it.”

Gabriel slumped on his seat, looking completely astonished.

“Did you finish?” Lucifer asked when Gabriel’s grin didn’t look as painfully wide as it did at the beginning.

“Yeah, I just need to find the way to get those stories from Sam.”

“Good luck with that. I’m sure he’ll be tightlipped about it, but I’m glad you’re thinking in spending more time with Sam, even if it’s at my own expense. You see, there was a reason I was looking for you aside the Crowley issue.”

That made Gabriel’s attention on him come back. He sat straight, eyes narrowing with a prudent amount of wariness.

“So as I was saying, I trust Sam. We met at a time were some factions in Hell were trying to boycott me, so Sam’s presence came as something rare and precious as trust wasn’t something I had. When I first proposed to be a couple it was mostly my own possessiveness talking. I just knew I wanted him for me and I didn’t want others looking at him; or him looking at others.”

Gabriel shoulders stiffened. “Lucifer, that’s—“

“Oh, don’t look at me that way. I did care about him and I even felt an attraction towards him, too. I merely wasn’t in love, yet. Though I did love him,” Lucifer said, remembering hearing Sam’s laugh for the first time since they knew each other as his soul reached to him, nuzzling against his grace. He could continue and said that he was the one who tried to gain Sam’s affections, but the truth was that Sam was the one courting him. Every caress, his warmth greetings and the way his soul lighted up at his presence.

Their first real kiss was actually Lucifer letting loose weeks of pent up desire, in which Sam’s soul unconsciously teased him with constant light touches.

“My being and my throne are just some of the things I trust Sam with. And I trust him with a great number of things. However, there are things I don’t completely trust him with. Like his own safety and health.” he trailed off, if only to mock Gabriel's constant use of drama in the current conversation. “And that’s what you are here for, brother. So, let’s talk business, shall we?”

“Business?”

“Yes, of course. I’ve an offer I know you won’t be able to turn down.”

Chuckling bitterly, Gabriel snapped more alcohol. “Does that mean you’ll bully me into accepting?”

“I like to think I won’t be stepping into extortion, but I’m Hell’s ruler, so who knows, um?”

Lucifer smiled, using that smile that even scared Sam. He needed Gabriel to accept.

And Gabriel knew that as soon he started using the cunning mind and charisma that would get most drooling to do his binding. But Gabriel was his brother. It didn’t matter if they hadn’t see the other in centuries, they still knew each other.

Perhaps that was why Gabriel accepted and didn’t put as much fuss as he’d have expected.

“I appreciate it, you know,” Lucifer finally said after everything was said and done.

Gabriel shrugged. “Let's be honest here. You’d probably destroy the entire species that manages to hurt him. And probably damage the ecosystem if only for pettiness.”

“That bad you think of me?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you denying it?”

“Of course not, but I like to think I’m above of petty destruction.”

“Uh-huh.” After another snap of fingers accompanied with the appearance of a stronger liquor, Gabriel smiled. “So when you leave to the skies and beyond?”

“After Thanksgiving. I promised Sam to go to the party his family was going to do.”

“Oh yeah, I was invited, too.”

At those words, Lucifer slowly turned his head to look at his brother better. “Invited?”

“Yeah. It’s not Christmas so I can’t hang mistletoes around, but Thanksgiving is still nice. Good food, good company. What’s not to like?”

Lucifer tipped the glass back, drinking in one go as his wings slowly unfurled until they were extended wide at his sides. He narrowed his eyes at his brother, the temperature in the room dropping to dangerous levels.

“That I’m suggesting you to help Sam by being close, doesn’t mean you will forget that we're still in a relationship. Hang those stupid things wherever you want, but if I find out you’ve touched Sam in an inappropriate way, I’d break your wings.”

Gabriel’s wings stopped from trying to follow his lead as he said his words. They returned to his back, a tiny smirk appearing on his lips.

“Possessive much?”

Holding his chin high, he huffed. “I am, but it doesn’t bother Sam.”

Which was a blatant lie. Judging by the incredulous look Gabriel shoot him, it seemed it was an easy one to see through.

“Ok, no funny touching then, bro.”

 _‘If possible not touching at all_ ,’ he wanted to say but knew that if those words reached Sam’s ears, he’d get an unpleasant lecture. And more. He was wise enough to want to spare himself from that.

Apparently, his exasperation was also clear as Gabriel snorted. And Lucifer had to wonder if the fact he was wearing lately his emotions on his sleeve was caused by his exposure to Sam or if it simply was because he’d gotten used to relax around familiar beings with whom he felt more comfortable being around with.

Or perhaps it was the exotic liquor he kept drinking. He was sure what he has been drinking the last ten rounds was some pagan stuff strong enough to knock out a minor god.

He looked at his glass warily.

“Have you ever drank your worries away?” Gabriel said, appearing another of those curious looking bottles.

Lucifer wondered when his brother became the one who was a bad influence. He was kind of questioning his decision of convincing him to work as Sam’s bodyguard.

He still accepted though, because he hadn’t experienced being drunk and he’s kind of curious.

* * *

It was five hours later when he woke up on one of the couches inside Gabriel’s coffee shop with what he guessed was a headache, that he realized how much of a bad idea was drinking those last rounds with one of Gabriel's creations.

He stood up, grace feeling oddly unresponsive of his commands. Thing he vaguely remembered Gabriel saying were one of the consequences of drinking 'The Gabe Special', along with knowledge it would last at least one day. Suffice to say, it was a weird sensation. He shook his head, his whole being feeling as if it weighed more than it should, but at the same time so light. He had to tighten his grip on it as to not let it escape from his vessel so it could sparse away to the space as it wanted.

Wondering if the hungover humans experienced was similar to what he was feeling, Lucifer walked to where he could see his brother sprawled across the bar stool, hand extended to reach what looked like syrup.

Lucifer didn’t bother waking him up. He just took a couple of pictures with the fairly new phone Sam convinced to get and walked out of the building.

He was supposed to go to Hell and retrieve the schedule of all the meetings he planned that week for Sam with Hell’s most influential demons, but that was three hours ago. Besides, he didn’t think using his metaphysical wings to make the long trip would be a good idea at the moment. He probably could appear to Sam’s apartment easily, but the idea of walking those ten minutes sounded appealing.

The couple of humans on the almost empty streets gave him wide berth as he walked, probably sensing the power he exuded and couldn’t completely retain inside his being. It was mostly instinctual. Humans didn’t seem to notice it how they avoided his eyes and their heads turned away whenever Lucifer turned their way.

It was better that way. He didn’t think he’d be able to human company that didn’t come from Sam right then. Though the blatant ignoring was still bothersome.

However, as he neared Sam’s apartment, he realized that perhaps his choice of walking instead of flying was a good idea, He could see a car parked close to the alley that led to Sam’s street. It was one of those cars that seemed to be the default kind humans bought. Easily forgettable, if not for the heavy guarding it had and the familiar soul inside.

He wasn’t sure what overcame him as Lucifer was the kind of being that always planned before acting. And yet, one moment he was far away from the vehicle and the next he was leaning down to the window, exactly beside the seat where the person was.

Briefly thinking that the alcohol had probably damaged his ability to reason more than he’d have liked, Lucifer said, “Care to let me know what are you doing in front of Sam’s apartment?”

“ _Fuck_!”

The sandwich the man was holding fell on this lap, sauce staining his pants. He looked up at him, hand going to his side where Lucifer could guess was a hidden weapon.

“I wouldn’t do that. After all, you’re in broad daylight.”

The man’s eyes were still wary but his posture relaxed, a strained smile appearing on his lips as his free hand ran through his long hair.

“What can I say, you startled me.” He shrugged, eyes narrowing as he said a quiet but firm ‘ _Christo’_.

When nothing happened, Lucifer hummed, tapping his fingers against the car’s door and ignoring the hunter’s stiffness at how the glass kept rolling slowly down with each tap.  “So a hunter? I knew you were especial when I sensed the anti-demonic possession tattoo on your shoulder blade.”

The man’s muscles tensed in the same way he had done when Lucifer woke him up from Sam’s couch a couple days ago. “What was your name, again? Ash?”

The way his lips formed a tight line declared loudly what Ash thought of him remembering his name. He took out his gun from his side, aiming it to where Lucifer was leaning on the car, outside the view of anyone that might walk close.

Lucifer didn’t even pay it notice.

“Okay then, Ash. Mind to tell me what are you doing here? And I hope for your safety you aren’t really stalking Sam.”

Ash smiled. “Why would you think that? I’m Sam's friend, maybe I’m just here to visit him. I know you’re a demon, shouldn’t I ask you that?”

“My eyes didn’t turn black, did they?”

“Doesn’t mean you aren’t some monster, pal.”

Narrowing his eyes, Lucifer leaned close, slightly loosening the hold of his grace. Not enough to hurt, but enough to lure the human in with the divinity his form still had.

“I asked something, Ash. Now tell me, what are you doing in front of Sam’s apartment.”

On any human, the trick he was doing would be enough to make their prime instincts surrender to Lucifer’s commands in a second. Ash’s will was strong and he lasted more than most would. But Lucifer was an archangel. There had never been a fight to begin with.

“The demonic activity in Sioux Falls has increased since Sam’s been here,” Ash answered through clenched teeth.

“Has it?” Lucifer hummed, knowing it was partly his fault as the survivors from Azazel’s little ploy spread quickly the information about Lucifer having a favored human. That made some curious, thinking worth investigating. Considering demons weren't really that common to see upstairs, it didn’t come as a surprise they were noticed by hunters. Especially when the number increased after he made official their relationship.

It was quite a wonder it took so long for Sam to meet a demon, actually.

Still. Ash’s words brought a problem. “To notice such thing... You were already in Sam's trail, weren’t you?” he said, his hold on Ash’s mind tightening enough for the human to feel it. “Are hunters going after Sam?”

There was a moment in which Ash stayed silent, seemly considering his options, as if it was easy to shrug off the stress an archangel could produce in a human’s brain.

Lucifer wanted to grip tighter until Ash’s mind broke and he could take the information he wanted. He _was_ considering taking him down to Hell to show him his own brand of torture, because if hunters were after Sam then that was something far dangerous than any trouble another being could cause. He knew Sam and he knew he wouldn’t endanger a human if he could take him to justice. Sam recognized humans could be worse than some of the so called monsters, but he wouldn’t make himself to kill a human being if necessary.

“Answer me,” he said, voice deadly and full of poison.

“You really care about him, don’t you?” Ash asked breathless, stopping Lucifer just a moment before he gave in into his irritation and violated his mind, Sam’s morals be damned.

“I do,” he answered after a beat, knowing some might think foolish to be honest to some possible enemy, but Lucifer wasn’t afraid of humans and he had an entire army under his power if they wanted to fight.

Besides, if they threatened Sam, Michael wouldn’t see it as a breach of their agreement if he killed them. He’d accept probably accept and even help as to maintain the peace between them.

What were a few humans in a world full of it, after all?

“Sam was a friend of a friend of mine,” Ash started, the influence Lucifer still had on his mind and his own volition making him relax enough to answer him. “He asked me to keep an eye on him before he died.”

Lucifer frowned slightly before a name of the only other hunter Sam knew came to his mind. He let Ash free, watching with faint amusement how he slumped on his seat trying to catch his breath.

“Rufus Turner, of course. Was him your friend?”

Ash nodded. “Yeah. How do you know him? He was enough of a paranoid bastard and a damn good hunter to not realize that you weren’t human on sight.”

“Sam told me about him. We're a couple, remember?” He gave a light shrug. “Doesn’t matter. Are hunters coming for Sam or not?”

Ash was a little wary, he could see, but it appeared he wasn’t as prejudiced as most hunters were about supernatural beings.

“They know demonic activity has increased and a couple know the little task Rufus gave me, too. If they're interested, it’d be easy for them to connect the dots.”

Blinking, Lucifer tilted his head. That was clever and fast. Not giving names, not isolating himself as the only one holding the information and pointing out what could happen if Lucifer killed him> Sam would get attention.

It seemed there was more brain in that alcoholic mind of his.

He read the thoughts that were at the front of his mind and almost smiled at the speed conclusions and possibilities came to this human. It seemed luck was on his side. To encounter a not so reckless hunter that was at least somewhat fond of Sam was something that could be helpful.

“Are you interested in making a deal, Ash?”

The man immediately narrowed his eyes, false lightness leaving his posture.

“Not interested.”

“Aren't you? Don’t worry, I won’t ask for your soul. I’m only wish some protection from you.”

“Protection?”

“Yes. I don’t really dwell in hunter affairs, so I don’t know what your kind is up to. I merely want you to make sure no hunter associates Sam with the sudden increase of demonic activity. I also don’t want ill intent of any kind towards him coming from the hunter community.”

“You know one person can change the opinion of others, right? Especially with us, hunters; we’re a stubborn bunch.”

Lucifer tilted his head, a condescending smile on his lips. “But you’re a smart guy, aren’t you? I’m sure you’re known. Or that you can get yourself known among hunters, at least; someone others would look up for answers.” He flew to the seat next to where he was, inside the car, startling him. Lucifer held a platinum coin between his fingers when the gun moved to aim where his head was.

“This is basically a ‘get out of Hell’ card. You’ve it when you die and you go immediately to Heaven. Or you can get someone out of any demon deal, if you want, too.”

Ash’s gun lowered considerably as he retrieved a can of beer from under his seat. He took a large gulp, eyes never leaving his. “How do I know you’re not lying to me?”

“I know you can make your own research. Or you can ask Sam if you don’t trust me. He knows what this is.”

“Does that mean he knows what you are?”

Lucifer smirked. “Again, we’re couple. He knows me better than most.”

Fingers went to touch the twirling coin, only managing to brush it before Lucifer moved it away. “What do you say?”

Ash let out a breath. “Do I have to kiss you?”

“Now, now. Wouldn’t like to make Sam jealous, right?”

* * *

“I think you’re going to be angry with me,” Lucifer said as soon as he appeared sitting under the sheets of Sam’s bed. He poked Sam's head with light touches. “In my defense, you’re pretty reckless.”

Sam groaned as he buried his face into the pillow. “Don’t care. ‘m sleeping.”

“Yes, I know you are quite loquacious when you're in this state, but you did tell me to inform you immediately after I had done something you would glare at me.”

“I spend the night reading and I’m tired. Go away and let me sleep.”

Lucifer glanced at the mop of hair he could see peeking from under the sheets. He waved a hand to make his clothes reassemble Sam’s own attire and placed his leg on top of Sam’s back. “Does that mean I don’t get a welcome kiss?”

“You don’t.”

“That was cold. I just want to curl around you.”

Letting an exasperated breath, Sam tried to bury himself deeper into the pillow. “Then do it and shut up.”

“Can’t you do it and come up? I’m feeling a little hot; I don’t want to get under the covers.”

A hand went to touch the leg that still resided on his back and patted it twice. “You’re cold.”

“And I said I’m _feeling_ hot, not that I _was_. Waking up makes you slow, dear.”

“And you’re a fucking bastard,” Sam said, clearly annoyed. However, it didn’t took more than a couple of long seconds before he turned towards him, throwing his leg away  from his back and crawling closer until he could lift the light shirt Lucifer currently wore, pressing his warm face against his cool skin.

“You’re sweating, Sam,” Lucifer protested, though he did nothing to move Sam away from where he was nuzzling his stomach.

“It was your fault.”

“I don’t think so. I wasn’t the one who forgot to change the covers into a lighter one.”

“But you didn’t come yesterday.”

Lucifer rested his hand on top of Sam's head, fingers carding through his hair, deft and tender as he waited from the metaphorical shoe to drop.

“Time?” Sam asked after some time, voice muffled and relaxed.

Glancing at the nightstand where the clock was, Lucifer hummed. “No wonder you look tired, it’s almost four.”

“Ugh, I hate you. Why so early?”

“Gabriel got me drunk.”

That took some of the sleepiness away. Sam lifted his head up to get a better look of him. His eyes narrowed as if scrutinizing him, before he moved his hand to the spot next to Lucifer’s hip and used it as support to lean closer. Lucifer leaned slightly down, thinking Sam wanted to kiss him. However, Sam stopped a couple inches away from his face and just sniffed. Then it seemed his tiredness won out and his face fell on top of his torso.

“Do I want to ask what were you doing?”

“You don’t smell like drunk.”

“Well, I’ve a better control on my vessel than humans do. Of course, I won’t smell.”

Sam glared at him from his spot before he went face down to his stomach and blew a raspberry.

Lucifer yelped, body sliding slightly down to the bed as his right hand went to where the new wet spot was. He looked up to where Sam was now sitting straight, looking at him with wide stunned eyes.

Though the expression didn’t last as in the next second, Sam was laughing quite loudly.

“Oh god, your face,” he said between chuckles and other weird noises, ignoring his offended expression.

Lucifer gave a few blindly pats to his side where he knew Sam’s pillow was, and when he got it, he threw it at him. It went straight to Sam's face, stopping the laugh momentarily before it grew even more.

“'I’ve more control in my vessel than you have', right,” Sam repeated his words in a slightly mocking tone.

Using the most calmed voice he could muster, Lucifer said, “You’re being childish. It was not that fun.”

“Aw, you’re pouting.”

“I’m not,” Lucifer grumbled as he grabbed Sam’s wrist, though there was a small smile on his lips as he pulled him close until Sam was sitting on his lap, still smiling widely with a couple snorts escaping him from time to time.

“You’ve to admit it was fun.”

Lucifer scrunched his nose in mock indignation. “Most would think I’m the asshole in this relationship because of who I am, you know. But you’re kind of an asshole yourself, too.”

“What can I say, I learned it from the best,” he said looking down at him as settled better on his lap, arms resting around his neck, his amused smiled from before turning into something softer and sleepy.

Relishing in the sensation of Sam's warmth against his vessel, Lucifer's fingers went under Sam's shirt to trail down his spine with gentle brushes, making sure to press them closer with each caress. 

“Aren’t you going to kiss me, Sam?”

“Weren’t you the one who always complains whenever I kiss you after I wake up?”

Lucifer shrugged. “I’m still feeling somewhat tipsy so I can taste anything, your morning breath won’t be a problem now.”

“I feel so wanted right now.” Sam huffed, rolling his eyes, but he was smiling when he leaned down to kiss him, large hands running across his hair and neck with fluttering touches as he stretched, body arching and rubbing against his own. Lucifer let Sam control the pace of their kiss as he marveled at the way the soul on top of him reacted, shinning brighter as it tried to touch his grace.

Everything instinctual, of course, as Sam didn’t know yet how to control his soul as Lucifer would have liked. Whatever spell Azazel used on him made it impossible for any type of being to enter his body. And while it had the benefit of making Sam incapable of being possessed, it also meant that Sam couldn’t be healed by outside forces, like his grace, without feeling an incredible amount pain.

And it meant as well that Lucifer wasn’t able to touch Sam in the way he wanted, with his true form. Sam’s body worked as a barrier his grace couldn’t trespass, making him incapable of even grasping Sam’s soul without hurting him. He always had to wait for those small tendrils of his soul that managed to get away in their attempt to be near his grace to be able to _feel_ Sam.

That was why he couldn’t help the way his hands curled, possessive and greedy, around Sam’s hips, gripping tightly as he felt part of his grace go through Sam’s body. It stopped him momentarily from where he was mouthing Sam’s jaw. Trying to replicate whatever thing he had done, he surrounded them with his grace. 

“Don’t open your eyes,” he murmured when Sam gasped, his soul shivering.

Lucifer looked down, catching the glimpse of the angry red marks that were faintly lighting up on Sam’s body. “How are you feeling?”

Sam grunted as if to let him know he was listening, not sounding pained or fatigued as his nose pressed against his cheek. “Slightly aroused,” he said a tad strained, fingers tightening their hold on his hair, making a needy noise when Lucifer positioned him in a way their erections touched. He didn’t seem that bothered for the fact that they were still wearing clothes, as thin as the fabric was, but it was clear it frustrated him.

“No pain then?”

“No…? Can I open my eyes now? Wait. Are you doing the grace thing? I thought you couldn’t.”

“I was just experimenting something,” he said. It was worrying that the marks were once again exposed because of Lucifer’s touch, but also relieving to see how they didn’t cause him pain. His grace still slightly scattered and not as consistent as it usually was thanks to Gabriel's drinks seemed able to go through whatever spell Azazel. It was something worth investigating further. Perhaps he should ask Gabriel for the ingredients and give them to Raphael so she could investigate while he was gone.

“You can open your eyes now,” Lucifer whispered, implanting a suggestion on Sam’s mind. He knew he shouldn’t do it and that it wasn’t right, but he couldn’t get a real grip on his grace to make it retreat more than to not hurt Sam’s eyes. He was also aware knew how self-conscious Sam was of his body and the scars on it. He remembered those first days after Azazel’s kidnapping in which Sam spent a great amount of time in the bathroom, trying to catch a glimpse of the red marks he once saw on his skin. Entire weeks with him wearing clothes he was sure would cover most of his skin, afraid that they would appear again.

Lucifer couldn’t completely control his grace because of whatever he drank so he couldn’t make the marks disappear.

Perhaps it was selfish of him but he didn’t want Sam to go back to those times and spend it alone, now that the time for him to leave to Heaven was so close.

Still. It was a weak suggestion, only worth it if he could distract Sam.

“You’re glowing,” Sam said with a grin, eyes half lidded as Lucifer’s hand slid down his stomach, tracing muscles before they reached the waistband of his pants and continuing under his boxers, fingers curling around hot flesh.

“If you make a Tinkerbell reference, I will leave you as you are.”

“Hey, I’m not the one that likes to quote movies here,” he said slightly breathless as his hips thrusted forwards. He seemed slightly nervous as his hand went to the back of Lucifer’s neck to tilt his head at a better angle, but he seemed to shook the insecurity away as the lust in him increased. When he leaned down to kiss him it was all tongue, teeth and plain _want_. He pinned him to the headrest, making the arm between their bodies go to an awkward angle, but Lucifer didn’t care when Sam’s soul was so close, his mouth searing-hot and overwhelming over his lips shaking him to his very core, grace flaring up with each of his movements.

Lucifer groaned as he erased some of the barrier between his vessel and his grace, making him able to feel everything in a more human way. With every touch making him want more, he set teeth against Sam’s lips, tightening the grip on his cock and liking the way Sam gasped into his mouth and bucked his hips, kiss turning open-mouthed and completely sloppy.

“Fuck,” Sam breathed, head falling to his shoulder when Lucifer swiped a thumb over the weeping head, his free hand going for Lucifer’s own erection and pressing them together. "Make our shirts disappear."

Not giving thought at the subtle mention of not taking their pants away, Lucifer grinned, waving his free hand and complying with Sam's wishes. “Getting impatient there?”

Snorting, Sam threw him a smile before his eyes were drawn down again as he kissed his collarbone, following the movements of Lucifer's hand, their fingers continuously brushing with each exploring touch. It was as if Sam was trying to memorize what got a shudder or sigh out of him, completely ignoring the still glowing marks on his skin.

“Sam,” Lucifer called when he could see Sam’s soul getting warmer, sparks of desire making their way to the unsteady thrum of power that was Lucifer’s grace. Sam looked up, locking their eyes as his orgasm neared, looking wild and unabashed and completely beautiful. Lucifer fastened his pace, feathers bristling with each electric sensation of heat building in his gut, pressing tighter and forming a cocoon around them as desire pooled at the base of his spine, wanting to explode.

He grunted, twisting his hand in a way that left Sam shuddering, head tipping back as he came apart with a groan, Lucifer following close with a slow shaky thrust and a sharp intake of breath. 

Lucifer sighed when he couldn't feel his wings quivering anymore, nose burying on the crook of Sam's neck, liking how Sam moved closer with each deep breath he took. The marks were still there, glowing even brighter, so Lucifer moved Sam from his lap to the bed, under the covers, not protesting when Sam drew him towards him. He instead tangled their legs together and kissed the bare curve of his throat, taking an extra amount of time where he could feel Sam's pulse under his lips.

“I liked it," Lucifer said after biting Sam's jaw. 

“That’s good,” Sam murmured with an appreciative hum at his ministrations, voice sleepy as it was when he first appeared. “Too bad it won’t repeat for some long time.”

Lucifer frowned against Sam's skin. “Why not? I’ve a couple days before I leave.”

Sam snorted, and Lucifer was sure he could feel the curve of a smile on his hair. “Remember when you told me you were lucky I didn’t have sex to hold it against you?”

A vague memory of Sam complaining about Hell’s books came to his mind before he answered with an unsure, “Yes?”

“Well, I now can. Somewhat, at least.”

Lucifer blinked a couple times before he leaned away until he was able to see Sam’s face better in the dim light. “I don’t understand.”

Yawning, Sam grabbed the pillow on Lucifer’s side and placed it under his head, his own still lying in some place on the ground. “I don’t know what you did, but I know you only start with ‘I think you’re going to be angry with me’ when you feel really guilty and know I’ll _really_ feel angry about it.”

“I don’t know if feel proud or not of this level of deviousness. It seems I’ve been a bad influence on you,” Lucifer said with a small smile before giving a small peck on Sam's lips. “Don’t you care that you don't know what I did?”

“Is something apocalypse worthy?”

“No.”

“Have you killed someone?”

“Not this time, no.”

“With you I always have to ignore the phrasing,” Sam sighed. “Okay, is something really important, that has to do with my involvement on Hell?”

Lucifer thought about it. He convinced Gabriel to be Sam’s bodyguard and made a deal with Ash to keep other hunters away from him. It was technically about his involvement as Hell’s temporary ruler, but it wasn’t really important with the affairs that Sam would have to deal. There was also the subject of Sam's glowing marks, but that came after so it didn't count.

“…No?”

Sam seemed to read the doubt in his tone but decided to ignore it. “Then I don’t want to hear it. My last days with you are not going to be spend with us discussing. So, this is what we’re going to do: Just before you leave, you’re going to write down all I need to be pissed at so I can curse your name from afar. Is that alright with you?”

“It is, I guess.”

Sam smiled at him before he pointed at some place above Lucifer’s shoulder. “Meg left the schedule. We’re supposed to meet Lilith in four hours. Wake me up in three, okay?”

Briefly glancing over his shoulder, Lucifer pressed Sam close again. "So no punishment for me?"

"You will walk Crayon every morning and get me food until you leave. Aside from that, no, I don't think so. Though I'd appreciate if you could snap the stickness away from my pants."

“Done. Have I told you I love you lately? Because I do. ”

Sam sighed sleepily. “I love you, too. You can bring me the moon later, Lucifer. Now just let me sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I wrote smut while being in class. Is the most I remember from writing this chapter, anyways.   
> Okay, so I hope you had liked this and prepare yourselves for the next chapter because is time to say bye-bye to Lucifer.  
> Kudos and comments are all appreciated ;D


	8. Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you happy?”  
> Not looking away from the necklace he was fidgeting with, Sam answered, “Is that really what you want to ask? No, ‘Sam, it’s been fifteen minutes already, when are you going to stand up?’”  
> “Nope. I can see your legs trembling, I won’t ask you to stand up when I know you’re going to fall flat on your face.”  
> “So much confidence in myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'll update twice a year and leave it at that.   
> I'm sorry for how long it has taken me but while I love this story, I'm not so in contact with the fandom anymore and that's make it hard to write. Lack of motivation and all.   
> :c  
> Don't worry, I'll end this. It'll just take me some time.

“Are you happy?”

Not looking away from the necklace he was fidgeting with, Sam answered, “Is that really what you want to ask? No, ‘Sam, it’s been fifteen minutes already, when are you going to stand up?’”

“Nope. I can see your legs trembling, I won’t ask you to stand up when I know you’re going to fall flat on your face.”

“So much confidence in myself.”

Lucifer snorted, but quickly grew quiet. “I mean, in general—Are you happy?”

Sam looked up. Lucifer’s voice sounded concerned, but his eyes were only curious. He glanced at the large, pompous room where a huge, expensive table was; black chairs looking comfortable as they surrounded it. There was a chandelier hanging above, not turned on as the day was early, merely letting the morning light seep out from the windows at his side that were taller than him. Sharp shadows were cast but even they looked warm and inviting in the room.

Honestly, it looked more like a dining room from a mansion with its white, mirror-like floor and blue curtains than a meeting room.

He glanced down at the necklace Lucifer gave him with its sole pendant that looked like a cloudy pearl, but whenever Sam brushed his fingers against it, it became clear like crystal, revealing a misty white underneath hovering inside. It felt cool to his touch and welcoming, a slight buzz thrumming where his skin touched it.

Lucifer gave it to him that morning after Sam finished dressing. “ _So you’ll always have a piece of me_ ,” he had said, cheesy as usual.

It wasn’t until Sam thought of the words that he realized it was Lucifer’s grace what was inside the small crystal. That it was really part of Lucifer what hung over his collar. He would have mentioned it, how things like that made him happy, but Sam didn’t have the chance as the room’s doors opened and four demons entered, starting the formal introductions and civilized backstabbing.

He hadn’t met them before but Lucifer had taught him about the most important demons while he learned of Hell’s politics to not recognize them.

Actually, it was slightly weird how easy it was.

Lilith, as Lucifer had told him, was a creepy demon who preferred taking the form of small girls; she looked like an Asian kid this time. Big slanted black eyes and dark straight hair pooling around her shoulders, a couple pins on top of her head stopping the rest of hair from touching her forehead. She looked cute with the Hello Kitty bag and blue dress except when she smiled, which apparently was all the time, as it looked too wicked and malicious for someone her age.

She immediately stood in front of him, with that boundless energy only kids seem to possess, and asked, “Can I sit on your lap, dad?”

Sam, to his credit, didn’t splutter. He merely gave her the unimpressed stare he always had in store for the times Lucifer talked about humans condescendingly.

“Dad?”

She looked at him as if he had said something funny, before letting a light giggle escape her. “Yup! You’re with Father, after all, aren’t you?”

There was dread pooling in the pit of his stomach, but Sam was good at acting and did not let his unease show.

“Sure,” he said with a smile, backing up onto the chair he was sitting on to give her more place to settle. “My name’s Sam.”

The girl nodded and let him help her up. “I know. I’m Lilith, Queen of the Crossroads.”

Once settled, she gave Sam a brilliant, innocent smile that could have fooled anyone. Her eyes then landed on the necklace, childish curiosity shinning in her eyes as her tiny hand moved towards it.

Sam didn’t know how, but he just knew that something bad would happen if she touched the pendant. His own hand was already moving to intercept hers and was barely able to catch it so only two of her fingers brushed the crystal. The misty white brightened and the pretty face of the girl scrunched into something terrifying as Sam got to see the flash of her demonic self—dark and rotten, _so_ ugly and frightening.

But it was only a flash. The innocent visage appeared once again, a cute pout on her face. The only remnants of the demon were the slight smell of burned flesh.

“Are you okay?” he asked, letting go of her hand. She inspected with indifferent curiosity before glancing at the necklace again.

“Is that Father’s, dad? It feels like Father.”

Sam threw an unimpressed glare at Lucifer.

“Yes,” he said drily. “Your father seems to like pissing all over me.”

Lilith giggled. It was a tad creepy so he ignored it and instead looked at the others expectantly.

“Crowley, Chief Manager of everything Hellish,” one short, black haired demon with a British accent nodded. “Pleasure to officially meet you, _Dad_.”

Sam ignored the mocking tone and turned to the other one. This one looking bored and gleeful at the same time. It was unsettling. “Alastair, Head Torturer. You most likely already know that every demon has passed through my rack at least once. You aren’t one, but we could—“

“ _Alastair_ ,” Lucifer’s voice cut through whatever offering Alastair was planning to give.

“I’m just a concerned about our temporary ruler, my Lord. Torture is an art so ingrained in our culture that he can’t be unknowledgeable about it.” The glare the demon was receiving didn’t abate the bloodlust in his eyes. When the silence stretched without either relenting, Alastair pulled out a notebook from the inside pocket of his suit. “I even brought my own notes.”

Sam felt his mouth dry, a curious churning coming from his stomach made itself known as he swallowed. The dangle of Lilith’s legs were too notorious all of sudden. “I’m not particularly interested in torture, but I see your point. I’ve also heard from Lucifer how incredible you were in using the psyche of humans against them instead of relying in simple physical pain. I think I’d like to read your notes, I—I find myself curious about your thought process.”

The smile that followed wasn’t much more than a show of teeth, but it held something slightly abashed as the demon glanced at Lucifer, reminding Sam of how he sometimes looked at Dean when they were kids and he wanted nothing but be as his big brother. It was perverse and sick; a mockery of that mental picture, but it still held enough similarity for Sam to notice. It was then that he remembered Lucifer mentioning how Alastair had been his apprentice once.

Lilith’s comment about Lucifer being their father was perhaps more true for some demons. They looked up at Lucifer as their father. He had realized of that before, of course, but knowing was one thing and another was seeing _that_ look coming from a demon that even in a human body couldn’t be anything else but a nightmare wearing a human flesh because of all the _wrongness_ he seemed to emanate.

Sam couldn’t help but mutter a “Crap” that sounded loud in the echo of the room. Because if they really considered Lucifer a father, what was he if not the step-dad? Lucifer had made him known to all his ‘children’ so he was obviously above the title of ‘lover’ or mere ‘fling’.

His lips twitched, but he didn’t let the laugh that wanted to bubble out from him escape. He knew it would sound too maniacal and terrified for the occasion. He was going to be the be their boss in a couple days; he couldn’t falter in front of them

“Sam?”

There was a hand on his shoulder and Sam patted it absently. “Nothing, really. I just realized something.” He took a deep breath as his eyes turned to the last person in the room. “I already know you, Meg. Though I don’t know if that’s your real name.”

She shrugged. “I’m Meg, operational manager. Or was, I think that branch will be led by Bel. For now I’m your PE.”

Sam knew that; Lucifer mentioned it while they were having dinner two days ago. “Yes, Beelzebub will take your old post. Tomorrow I’m to meet her. Now with the introductions done, let us begin.”

Looking up at Lucifer one last time, Sam tried to gain some strength from the familiarity his presence brought as to remind himself why he was doing all of this in the first place.

Some said love was blind, but Sam never felt it that way with Lucifer. He had always been able to see, no matter how much he tried to ignore it, those ugly parts that were part of Lucifer as much as the bright ones were. It was true that some moments he was able to momentarily forget before reality smacked him harder afterwards but something told him he won’t be able to do that anymore—he wouldn’t have that luxury.

 _I can’t back up now,_ Sam thought, his eyes trailing at the now empty room. He glanced up, at the chair in front of his where Lucifer was currently siting and leaned closer with his head bowed until he was able to rest his weight on Lucifer’s thighs with both hands, position uncomfortable and dangerous considering he was at the edge of the chair. Sam didn’t care.

Lucifer caressed his cheek and Sam tilted his head in its direction. He inhaled deeply, not caring that Lucifer never smelt of anything. It was nice to feel smooth fingers on his skin.

“Sam?”

“I’m still feeling a tad nervous and tired. The last one is thanks to you, by the way.”

Lucifer huffed an amused breath. “Technically, the first one is also my fault. Or yours. But don’t worry, I take half your blame.”

“Glad to know reading those relationship books have served you.”

The hand moved until it cradled Sam’s head, gently tilting it up. Lucifer’s eyes were sad, something insecure and vulnerable flickering in his expression. He pressed a chaste kiss on his lips, lasting two seconds too long before he retreated, briefly brushing the pendant hanging on his neck with a finger.

“Do you like it?”

“I do. I still think is your way of being territorial though.”

“So little faith on me.”

“Are you telling me then that you gave it to me without any hidden motive?”

Lucifer blinked, and that was possibly the only tell he had whenever he wanted to lie but felt uncomfortable about it. Most likely because of his angel nature. Still, it was so unfair.

“Well?”

“I had my reasons, yes. None were what you think.” Sam raised an eyebrow. “Okay, I admit I do find certain appeal at seeing you wearing part of me. I may not one hundred percent angel, but I’m still one, after all.”

Leaning more of his weigh on one of Lucifer’s thighs, Sam sighed. “You've never specified what angel relationships entail. I mean, you’ve told me they exist and I understand we’re not the same… _species_. We’ve different needs, I know that, but—Well…“

“Sam,” Lucifer stopped him, fingers trailing along his arms. “Angels don’t really have relationships. The union between our kind is pretty recent, actually. Father surely knew a war was close; the last batch of angels created were able to feel something akin to emotions towards some of our kind, a specific someone from what I’ve heard.”

Sam tilted his head, trying to hold back a snort. “So God made them able to reproduce to preserve the species because he knew some would die? And those angels had to search for their… soulmate or something then?”

Lucifer smirked. “We don’t possess souls, remember? And no, there wasn't any searching going on. It’s not too hard to guess who your destined one is when angels are already made in pairs.”

“Huh,” he said, a bitter feeling worming inside his ribcage, making him feel constricted, as if someone was seizing his heart between tight fingers. He felt his lips forming a tight smile as he commented wryly, “Didn’t you mention you were created alongside Michael?”

And perhaps there was more hostility in those words than there should be. Lucifer certainly looked as surprised as Sam felt at the sudden display of emotion. He recovered quickly though, amusement seeping through his whole being. He actually looked gleeful, grabbing the edge of his chair and pushing him closer until Sam had to open his legs as to not have their knees bumping. Thing that wasn’t a very good idea considering he was sitting on the edge of the chair.

Not that it was a bother for a being that put Superman’s strength to shame. It only took Lucifer a second to hoist Sam on his lap.

“Aw, you’re jealous. I’ve never seen you jealous because of me. Did you know your soul lights into a lime green color? There’s hints of red, too.”

“I’ve been jealous before,” Sam said with a nervous chuckle, slightly breathless as he tried to compose himself from the sudden movement.

“A couple times, yes, but it wasn't never entirely because of me. More along the lines of you wanting to be more like someone else. Not this possessive jealousy. It was also hard to appreciate it with the black shade from the self-deprecation that hung around you.”

It was not meant to hurt, Sam knew that intellectually. And yet, it still did.

Lucifer’s hand spread to the upper back of his neck, fingers trailing the strands of hair in silent apology before resting on the side of his head. Sam unashamedly nuzzled against it, making a pleasant hum when Lucifer leaned his head on the crock of his neck, nose trailing a line along his throat, causing a tingling feeling on his skin, wanting to spread until the heat reached everything. Sam took a deep breath, ignoring the goosebumps on his arms as he pushed those thoughts away. It didn’t help with the warmth pooling in the lower part of his navel, but Lucifer seemed to know what he really wanted. With a last feather like kiss on his jaw, he retreated until their eyes met and sighed.

“The grace inside the pendant will made the demons know who you are and protect you from them. It’ll also hide your soul from their eyes so they won’t be able to read your emotions. It’ll make easier for me to hear your prayers, too.” He kissed his cheek. “And in the same way you’ll be able to feel my presence, I’m going to be able to feel you.”

Sam snorted. “You need my soothing presence so you won’t snap at Michael?”

“Of course, wouldn’t have dear older brother dying on us because of me, um?” Lucifer looked around. “We probably have half an hour before this place destabilizes without more grace. What do you say, want to make out?”

The sensation from a minute ago was back, but it wasn’t as oppressing as it had been in the morning. Though even with it, he didn’t think he would have sex in a meeting room without even knowing what’s outside the door. Slightly horny or not.

Still. He did like kissing Lucifer. So, with an amused sigh, he took his phone out and checked the time.

“Just remember I’ve to be at the bar in an hour.”

 

 

-

 

“You look tired, Sam.”

“I am,” Sam said softly, not bothering to deny it. Though he still pursed his lips and looked towards the window, glancing away from those curious eyes.

There was something about being inside a room with a person whom one had decided to be honest with that just left one feeling vulnerable.

He remembered the first day when he decided he wanted to get better—For Ellen and Bobby. For Jo. For Himself—, so he could enjoy being around them and didn’t have to lie whenever he said ‘I am fine’ or ‘I'm happy’. He remembered how tears had fallen for the first in a long time without him feeling anything.

Unlike talking with a friend who could give advice, sharing with a professional was unique because Sam was the one who decided that that person would help him. An unvoiced contract occurred. Dangerous in the way it was a stranger the one he had decided to share about himself, but also liberating because of the same. It was a stranger, after all. Someone who didn’t hold any expectations or judgment. Someone who has dealt with people like him and knew how to help.

And it had been good. To just talk.

“I’ve found myself with a new job. I’ll still work on the bar but, well… Luke,” he said, giving the name Lucifer once gave to visit him. “He needed the help. Considering I was the one who convinced him to take an extra workload, I couldn’t refuse.”

Dr. Simigh kept looking at him as he hummed. “I think you never mentioned what was his job, exactly. When he came here, he mentioned studying together. Where he worked, or his position, was never spoken.”

Sam shrugged; it didn't surprise him. A nervous smile played on his lips, not quite sure how to explain this. “He’s a CEO. He worked for his dad before but they didn’t quite agree with _certain_ things and he formed his own… company. His brother now has taken over his Father’s company, but he’s kind of sick because of a co-joined job he did. The only one who can help him is Luke now. I convinced him to help Michael, his brother, so he’s going to spend a couple months outside the country.”

It was kind of the truth, he supposed. He couldn’t quite lie. Well, he could, but… He couldn't. It was harder to lie. It felt like taking a step backwards and stumbling. Like a warning, reminding him of how easy was to fall.

“And the job he’s given you…?”

“I'll take his place while he’s out.”

The doctor’s eyebrows went slightly up.

“Yeah, I know.” He sighed. “The place is filled with factions and choosing one to take the place would be like supporting them, thus ruining the status quo, apparently.”

“And you’re known there, I get it.”

“I am. Backstabbing me would be like backstabbing him. He’s sure his reputation will keep the vultures at bay. The only thing I’ve to do is look pretty and don’t let myself be intimidated. Easy.”

“Easy,” he repeated, writing something down in his notes. When he finished, he looked up, resting both hands on the desk. “I’ve to remind you I’m not allowed to speak of anything I hear from our conversations without your signed permission.” When he saw Sam nod, he continued. “Having said that, the job you speak of sounds… Shady, I think would be the best word.”

Sam sighed, shoulders slumping. “You don’t know the tip of the iceberg, doc.”

“It doesn’t bother you. Or let me rephrase, it does, but not enough for you to end your relationship.”

“Yeah. I feel guilty about it sometimes. Am I—Am I a bad person because of it?”

A shrug. “We’re just humans. It’s in our nature to care more about what we have already formed a bond with.”

“I love Luke,” Sam admitted. “Sometimes it scares me how much I do, but I do.”

“While I admit your relationship sometimes may edge on codependency, it is healthy. He’s helped you move forward in your recovery and, from what you have told me, you have also helped him with some of his issues.”

“I like to think that. He’s actually spoken with one brother he hadn’t in ages a couple days ago and everything seems to have gone well. He’ll spend Thanksgiving with us.”

“That’s good. I’m glad your relationship is going well. However, the question here, while still related, is other: Do you want the job?”

Sam tried to not let himself fidget. “Aren’t relationships about compromises, too?”

“Yes, they are. It’s because of that you can give your opinion about a subject and discuss about it. I can see you talked, but. Did you, really?”

They didn’t. It was more of Lucifer trying to convince him and Sam caving in. Then the studying come in, serving to get him used to for when he went to college, if nothing else. But perhaps that was an excuse too. Ignoring the fact he was going to be the de-facto leader of Hell, Sam had been having fun with the knowledge he gained. He wished there was more time so he could study calmly, but that familiar pressure felt good too. There was a reason he chose Law besides how much he liked it, after all.

“To be honest, I’m a bit terrified. Some of the ones I’ll have to deal have big personalities. And egos. Not to mention the weird and complicated stuff that are the rules.”

“…But?”

“But it’s a good kind of terrified, I guess? I’m having fun with the new things I’m learning. I’m nervous, yes, but I think I can do it. I want to prove I can do it.”

The doctor smiled softly. “That’s good, then. How about you tell me about the people you’re going to deal with?”

-

 

 

-

 

 

It was half an hour later after work was supposed to finish that Sam allowed himself to return home. Today the meeting was at eleven, one-hour before the usual midnight, but still late enough for him to help with taking repertory of most things. This day he had to speak with the five of Hell’s assistants that were supposed to be the ones in charge of organizing everything. They would refer to Meg every day and she would inform him of most important events, give him the contracts of important people he had to read, sign and accept. Not that the current meeting would be the first and last he had to attend with them. He still had to attend a weekly reunion where they would give their reports and give them whatever else they didn’t give Meg. Then he would have all the week to complete them before returning them in their next meeting.

They had two days before Lucifer left so Sam was taking advantage of his presence to make him help him with the wonders of paperwork, instructing him with the fine details and others. Crowley would later be delegated to that job but Sam preferred Lucifer to instruct him.

He even would accompany him and Crowley to the meeting, mostly for support and to look pretty (or intimidating, in this case).

Thinking in all the work he would have for some possibly long months, Sam sighed. He looked down at the phone on his hand; it was already nine. He probably had time for a quick shower before dressing as he didn’t have to bother with transportation.

Returning the phone inside his back pocket, he took the keys out and opened the door of his apartment.

“I’m home,” he said, mostly out of habit as Lucifer told him to call him when he was ready so he could transport Sam to the expensive room he probably bribed someone for.

Or that was what he thought was going to happen. He wasn’t so sure anymore seeing as Lucifer was currently siting on the loveseat, Raphael standing next to him, looking slightly annoyed.

There was a moment of silence in which the tiredness from work and the surprise halted Sam’s thoughts. But it was a very short pause. He smiled with the neutral expression Lucifer favored when talking with Hell’s dignitaries and placed his bag on top of the small table next to the door.

“Good night, Raphael. I apologize for my distraction. Today I wasn’t planning on meeting one of Heaven's archangels. I still need to improve my adaptability around others, it seems,” he said with the most natural polite voice he could muster.

Raphael nodded at the same time Lucifer stood up, meeting him halfway to give him a chaste kiss on the lips. “Welcome home.”

Even with all the ached muscles he felt, Sam smiled and didn’t protest when Lucifer nudged him towards the loveseat. He himself sat on the armchair, his arm hanging loosely around him. Sam gave him one reproaching, amused look before looking back to Raphael.

“You seem to have expect me. If I had known I would have come earlier, but now I’m here, so what's the matter?”

He threw a glance at Lucifer, meant to scold him for at least not send him a text but only received a not so subtle thumbs up. Sam huffed and leaned against Lucifer’s side, ignoring the intensity in which Raphael’s eyes followed their movements, stopping briefly on the hand Lucifer was curling around his nape. Another day, he'd have blushed at the scrutiny, but he was tired and Lucifer’s cool skin was familiar and comfortable.

Besides, this was Lucifer’s sister. Sam shouldn't have to put on an act. She wouldn't have to look at the way Lucifer trailed his fingers on his skin as something alien and bizarre. She knew they were together so she could suck it up, Sam thought, hand moving to rest on top of Lucifer’s, making sure to interlace them.

That seemed to snap Raphael out of whatever musings she had as she let out a soft exhale, briefly closing her eyes in grievance and what Sam liked to think as her hiding her roll of eyes.

“It wasn’t me the one suggesting to wait for you, Winchester.”

Sam’s fingers tightened their hold as he turned to see Lucifer’s smirk. He kind of wanted to punch him.

“There was a problem?”

“Well, not much of a problem. You see, dear sister here came for me to give her some boost of power she could give Michael. Last time you were sleeping and Raphael was being an ass because I didn’t run immediately to Heaven after I had been told about the situation.”

Sam nodded slowly. “And what it has to do with me?”

“Remember the feather Gabriel gave you?”

Understanding made Sam perk up from his seat and then turn around to have a better view of Lucifer. The conversation they had a few days ago came to him as Lucifer snapped his fingers, three pristine white feathers appearing in his hold.

“They’re beautiful,” he murmured instantly, slight awe seeping in his tone as his hands hover close. Noticing this, he stopped a breath away from actually touching them. He looked at Lucifer, suddenly feeling his throat go dry at the soft look he was receiving.

“You can touch them, if you want,” he said, his voice coming lower than usual, and slower, as if he was making sure of pronounce every word correctly. Sam swallowed, and his fingers enclosed the space, making sure to brush the pads against Lucifer’s palm before he touched the quill, more out of curiosity than anything as he had never seen Lucifer looking with such longing in his expression.

He wanted to look at the feather and inspect it but how could he?

He swallowed as Lucifer’s hand enclosed his own, lowering his head until their foreheads could touch. The light coming from the lamp next to the loveseat didn’t illuminate well, but Sam could still see the way Lucifer’s pupils slowly dilated until a thin icy blue ring only remained.

Lucifer had told him many times how angels didn’t feel arousal. But he couldn’t help but wonder as his head was tilted his head to the side, if Lucifer could feel the heavy air that had been lately settling whenever their touches lingered for a moment too long, the anticipation that bubbled inside him when they shared the same breath. Sometimes so overwhelming and terrifying that Sam was glad that the antidepressants he took before hadn’t let him feel it when they started this whole relationship thing. It was there, sure, but so dull and muted, it was easy to ignore.

How long had it been since he felt this… this level of _attraction_ that now it was so hard to ignore?

Perhaps he was lucky he heard the cough coming from behind, stopping him from where he was already trailing his lips against Lucifer’s own with, his free hand grasping Lucifer’s collar.

Sam looked up sheepishly to meet Raphael’s impatient dark eyes, a loud groan coming from beside him.

“I told you to wait until I called you. Don't complain when you were the one who choose to stay.”

“If I had not stayed who knows when you would have gave me the feathers.”

Sam rolled his eyes when Lucifer threw a dirty glare at his sister.

Taking the feathers from Lucifer’s hold, Sam stood up, walking a couple steps away. He still could feel Lucifer’s penetrating, put upon look on his back, making feel slightly self-conscious; the same tingling sensation constantly traveling across his body.

As he touched the small barbs, he briefly wondered when that started—when he had become so aware of Lucifer’s presence. Not necessarily in a sexual way, but when it had started the constant attention he gave him whenever they were on the same room, constantly looking over his shoulder whenever he felt his gaze on him. Every movement he made, every expression and word; his brain picked it with interest to be analyzed or simply remembered. He didn’t know how to call it. It was like an obsession, but not quite. Not bad or in an immoral way.

Just… there. Making his heart beat faster and smile whenever they met gazes or Lucifer smiled at him.

Fuck, he was really going to miss him when he left. He already felt his chest constrict whenever he thought about it, a certain familiar anxiety crawling inside him. And the recent sexual attraction wasn’t helping him at all.

Well, if there was something somewhat positive from his years of living in constant dissociation with his own feelings was that Sam shrug off his emotions and let them fall off like water on impermeable cloth, shrouding himself on that old mentality.

It was harder than before, certainly unhealthy, and he would most likely have a small anxiety attack because of the guilt when he finds himself alone with his thoughts, but he didn’t feel quite so ready to face some sort of sexual tension at the moment.

So he focused on the feathers in his grasp while Raphael chided Lucifer about something; Lucifer answering with annoyed short sentences.

The feathers were really soft to the touch and while it looked as if they were white when he first saw them, now that Sam looked closely he could see they were more translucent than anything, almost like glue. The light so similar to the one inside his pendant making them look white. So pure and beautiful, cool to the touch unlike the warm feeling Gabriel’s gave off, but still comfortable. It felt familiar and when he brushed the vane against his cheek, it was almost as if Lucifer’s fingers were touching him, leaving an electric trace where his skin touched it. He closed his eyes, soaking himself in the calm feeling it gave him.

He opened his eyes and wasn’t surprised to meet Lucifer’s soft eyes. That silly grin on his face was new though, but not less pleasant to see. And maybe that goofy look was the one that made him said without thinking, “Can I have one?”

Raphael frowned at him,

 her opinion clear on the matter. But Lucifer interrupted whatever word she was going to say with a relaxed shrug of a shoulder, followed by a “Sure.”

“Lucifer, you can’t afford to lose feathers!” she said, and Sam couldn’t help but blink in surprise at seeing Raphael losing her cool for the first time.

“Why not? They are _my_ feathers, sister. I can do with them what I want.”

There was a storm brewing, Sam could see it in the way Raphael’s jaw clenched.

Sam, took a step forward. “What do you mean by that? Lucifer can’t afford to lose feathers? Why?”

“Because he _can’t_.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “What my sister here means is that most of my feathers have been tainted by Hell’s corruption. But she’s exaggerating, there are more than enough still pure. I’ll give you one, but I’ve to be the one who chooses where you are going to wear it.”

“Lucifer, are you—“

“Choose where I’m to wear it? Are you going to make a territorial thing from this, too?” Sam said, sending an apologizing look at Raphael for interrupting her. Not that she was looking at him, she kept giving Lucifer a disbelieving, angry expression. Lucifer ignored it, of course. He was grinning at him and, for some reason, it reminded him of the way Gabriel acted when Sam told him his feather was beautiful. He didn’t seem like the bashful type, but in that moment he looked honest in his embarrassment.

“Raphael, _stop_ this. I’ll give one of my feathers to Sam and that’s final.”

Looking up at their thunderous expression, Sam, feeling uncomfortable for starting a fight because of his thoughtless request, decided to add, looking at Raphael, “I don’t think I want one of this kind of feathers, anyways. You don’t need to worry.”

“Oh. So you don’t want one of my feathers, then?”

Oh crap. His voice was pretty nonchalant but Lucifer kind of looked like Sam had kicked his puppy. Considering he didn’t think Lucifer would cry over Crayon, Sam probably had done something worse.

“No, that’s not it! I mean—Raphael, please stop looking so smug—I meant, I think I would prefer one of the, uh, tainted ones? That’s it if you really want to give me one.”

Both blinked at the same time with blank faces in what Sam supposed was surprise. It made them look for the first time like siblings.

“ _Why?_ You’re a human. Wouldn’t you prefer—“ she stopped herself, looking thoughtfully to the side. “Although you _are_ a human. You’re tainted by nature. It’s understandable you would you feel more comfortable by being among sin than the purity of Heaven.”

She nodded to herself, face still emotionless but the accomplishment at understanding shinning clear in her condescending eyes. It reminded a bit of Lucifer in those first days their friendship started.

Sam looked completely unimpressed. “Yeah, no.”

“Aw, Sam. Your ‘I can’t believe you’re so stupid’ face is crushing my little sister.”

Yup, Sam was more familiar with those younger sibling’s indignation vibes coming from Raphael. So familiar Sam actually smiled.

He looked down at the feather. “It’s just that this is not actually you, right? I understand is part of you, but— It’s not _you_. Too angelic, maybe? I don’t know. I just think I would feel more comfortable with one that resembles the actual you. Not too pure. Not completely dark either. More like… the Lucifer I love, you know?”

Sam averted his eyes, feeling them getting teary. There was an embarrassed flush on his cheeks spreading that he couldn’t help at all, but the thought of Lucifer leaving was strong and Sam couldn’t push it away. His lips pressed together tightly to stop them from trembling as he looked at the large feather between his fingers, almost as big as his forearm. “It’s really beautiful, but I think one that shows more about what you lived would be—It would be more captivating.”

He took a shaky breath when arms curled around him. Lucifer’s hand on the back of his head pulling him onto the crook of his neck.

“Sorry. I—I didn’t take my pills today. I think that’s making me more emotional,” Sam lied, his voice coming muffled and weak.

“Of course. Let’s eat something and then you can take them, okay?” Sam nodded, but neither let go. The hold tightened. “Raphael, would you leave? I’ll give you the feathers before the next meeting starts.”

The answer was the usual flutter of papers coming from behind them, before the silent returned. And Sam sighed, some tension he didn’t know was there bleeding out from him. With one last nuzzle against Lucifer, Sam retreated, his eyes immediately going to the feather which ended trapped between their bodies. Fortunately, there wasn’t any damage done. It looked as pristine as it had when he received it.

“Angel’s feathers are really strong, nothing short of a nuclear explosion could damage them. And even then, it would be nothing but a scrap.”

Sam snorted, fingers twirling the feathers while his other hand cleaned whatever trace of tears were in his eyes.

“Are you happy, Sam?” Lucifer asked abruptly, making him look at him. He took a hold of the fingers grasping the feather and added, “Are you? With this? With me?”

“Huh,” Sam breathed out. Two days ago he had asked the same question, and that time Sam thought there was something else Lucifer wanted to add.

This was it.

Sam couldn’t answer with a witty comment or simply ignore the question, but he wouldn’t. This was honestly bothering Lucifer.

“… I love you,” was what he answered. Lucifer didn’t look satisfied, but what could Sam do? It was the truth. Sam’s love for Lucifer had never been blind like the stories; unconditional and absolute and without fear of falling. No matter how many times he wished it was that way, he couldn’t just close his eyes and let himself be lost on his own feelings. Especially not with someone like Lucifer, whose name was used in bedtime stories to scare kids and adults at the same time.

“ _Sam_ ,” Lucifer pressed, impatient.

He let out a slow breath, a small smile appearing because—Because maybe it was better that way. He didn’t think he would have fallen for the angel he once was or the Devil that came afterwards. He was in love with this version of Lucifer, who still had a sun shining inside of him that he liked.

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Sam knew he could have said ‘yes, I’m happy’, but he had recently began to grasp the emotion correctly; he didn’t think he could say that without feeling it like a lie. “But what I know is that I love you and that when I’m with you I feel so content and at peace. That’s enough for me.”

“It shouldn’t be.”

“But it _is_ for _me_. And that’s what matters, isn’t it? That I like how you make me feel.”

Lucifer huffed an amused breath, but he was grinning when he leaned in to give him a quick peck on the side of his mouth. “I love when you declare your undying love.”

Pushing him away with a mock punch, Sam snorted as he went to the kitchen. “That’s because you are a cheesy bastard.”

“I _so_ am. But what can I say, Sam, you have bewitched me, body and soul.”

Sam threw him a glance from where he was approaching the fridge to take out his food and Crayon’s. “You don’t have a—Wait. Pride and Prejudice?”

“Your puny human mind is surprisingly good at remembering quotes.”

“And your puny angelic emotional spectrum is surprisingly good at using them.”

“I deserved that.”

“You did.”

Lucifer laughed. “Come on, I’m always the sappy one. Throw me one, too.”

There was a lull in the conversation as Sam heated the food and left the meat inside Crayon’s bowl, in which he tried to think. It wasn’t until he had pressed the button to start the microwave and had placed the feather next to the others on top of the table that he turned around to look at Lucifer. “I suck at this. I really can’t think of anything. Our version of forever is different, so I can’t say I’d love you forever. Besides, I’m a realist. Who knows what will happen later?”

“You’re so romantic, Sam.”

“Shut up. Damn it, now I’ll feel bad until I can give you a really cheesy quote that fits. Normally someone would say ‘I would die for you’, but I’m suicidal, so I don’t think it has that much value coming from me—”

“Again, _so_ romantic,” Lucifer mumbled with a chuckle.

“— _But_ I think you can see how important is for someone like me to say that the current you, is someone I would live for. Perhaps that’s not long for you, but for a person who doesn’t find living something that motivating… Well.”

Sam didn’t add more. He turned to grab his food, the sound of Crayon’s steps near. Leaving the simple dish on top of the table, he sat. He didn’t have the opportunity to grab a fork though. His right hand taken away by Lucifer, who was next to him, his head bowed as he gave a kiss to his knuckles.

“Whatever time we have to enjoy ourselves will be always treasured. One year or ten won’t matter. It would be an honor to have my heart broken by you.”

Sam already had his free palm under his chin. “… I’m not sure if that’s a quote or not.”

Lucifer shrugged, a smirk adorning his lips. “Who knows?”

**Author's Note:**

> Btw, english is not my first language, I'm still practicing. This work is unbeta'ed so any grammar mistakes, are all mine. If anyone wants to point some, I'm all ears.


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